As Rock of Love draws to a close, we take another look back on the moments that rocked our world. The catfights. The cackling. The urine. The booze (and booze and booze and booze). The aerosol. The ill-advised tattoos. The meth-scratched faces. Yep, it was a special show, indeed.

Our Top 10 Rock of Love Moments Countdown starts after the jump...

10. Lacey Makes Jes Wet

On a lesser (i.e. more civilized show), skinny dipping or perhaps slyly timed urination would be the extent of the pool-based pranks. But this is Rock of Love, where exhibiting the most extreme behavior possible is as much the point as winning Bret's heart. After being thwarted by Jes (who, in retrospect, was downright prescient to not want anything to do with Lacey from the start), Lacey pulled a fully-dressed Jes into the pool.

Jes was rightly pissed. Even if you're going to be completely myopic and think, "That's cool, an eye for an eye," you're not prepared for what happens next: Lacey proceeds to mock Jes for being mad about being wet.

"I'm wet. Oh my gawd!" Here Lacey offered a preview of the villainy we'd come to expect from her all season -- she proved that she wouldn't rest until she out-eviled everyone around her. Sure, she may have ended up looking like an a**h***, but it was hard to tear your eyes off her all the same.

9. Magdalena Makes Herself Wet

The accent. The legs. The baritone. Magdalena was among the more...unique contestants on Rock of Love. Early on, her very gender was called to question, but during the motocross challenge, we got a little closer to understanding the functions of her genitalia.

After a weird battle to get her helmet on...

Something even weirder happened:

And then, the weirdest thing of all: Magdalena, in her OTF, recalled this incident, saying, "And I feel like there's just something comin' down my pants and I'm like, wow. Great." "Wow. Great."? Way to take your now-soiled panties in stride, Magdepends. Seriously, she was virtually unfazed by the urine that invited itself over and plopped down on her carpet, as it were. Could it be that this is something that happens a lot?

Ah, that Magdalena: can't live with her, can't check out what's really going on in her underwear.

8.  The "M" Is for "Masculine"

During the album-cover shoot challenge, Brandi M. hatched the most WTF scheme Rock of Love had seen up to that point. And by "WTF" I mean, "Who's the Female?"

Bad. Bad. Bad. Idea.

Worse.

Worse.

Worse execution.

Oh well, at least she answered the question everyone wanted to know: what did Teen Wolf look like when he hit his 50's?

The album cover was predictably abysmal:

Creative director Mia made sure to point out that the old man did not symbolize Bret. Who ever would have thought that in the firs place, if she hadn't said it? Needless to say, Brandi M.'s team lost the challenge. It was a terrible failure: these girls found the one thing that did not turn Bret on.

7. Meth-Scratchedgate

Ah, Brandi C. So blonde. So young. So...full of rage?

In response to Erin winning the phone-sex challenge, Brandi C. offered her this by way of congratulations: "You know what? I wanna kick you. " Thus began a battle of the blondes in which Erin ragged on Brandi's stupidity and Brandi made fun of Erin's "clown t**s."

And then Erin really went for the jugular, saying that Brandi C. was pretty "in the meth world" (it's a world?) and mocking Brandi's "meth-scratched face." It comes out that Brandi isn't a meth user and the scars she's rocking are a result of a car accident.

She turns to BFF Kristia for consolation.

So basically, she loses, but many of the horny teenage males devoted to this show win. Trade-off! Brandi C. compares her facial scars to a "disability." You sure that disability didn't skip your face and go right to your head, Brandi C.?

6. Bret the Plummer

Because this show would be nothing, nothing if it weren't for Bret's shameless gawking at everyone's padding and piping.

5. Heather Gets Tatted (But Not on Her Tatters)

It almost seemed reasonable, in this ROCK fantasia that someone should get a tattoo proclaiming their love for Bret (in Old English font, no less, which Bret awesomely gushed about in the limo en route to the tattoo parlor).

It also made sense that it was Heather. Everyone knows that tattooing someone's name on your body is about the behavioral equivalent of an expiration date being stamped on a bottle of pills (say, mind-altering pills). But whatever, you know, if anyone can beat the odds, it's a 32-year-old stripper who's still got all of her teeth and can form complete sentences.

Leave it to Jes to be the voice of reason who puts everything in perspective:

"What kind of a dumb bitch gets a guy's name tattooed on her neck for her first tattoo and she's not even technically dating him? This bitch has lost her f***ing mind." In the words of Judge Judy: beauty fades, but dumb is forever. And so are tattoos.

4. Brandi M. Swallows...A Lot

Brandi M. was sometimes called "B.B." (which, we learned in Brandi M.'s post-show interview, did not stand for her high-school nickname of "B***j** Brandi"), but an even better name for her would have been L.L. for "Lovable Lush." Brandi M. was drunk so often, her liver was invited to compete (and it would have won if not for Lacey's scheming!).

And, of course, her crowning achievement:

This is a girl who's claimed to have had alcohol poisoning nine times. Normally I'd be all, "Whatever. Stop bragging." But I truly believe her. And that makes me unsettled.

3.  Yee-haw, It's Rodeo!

Rodeo's spazzing out provided major highlights of her too-brief, four-episode stint, but it eventually led to her undoing. The fine line between TV-crazy and unstable became maybe a little too blurred at Rodeo's hands. But you know what? We'll always have that asthma-attack level wheezing followed by what sounds like Rodeo proclaiming, "I'm gay!".

Until we meet again, Rodeo. We, like you in a fit of laughter, will be holding our collective breath.

2. Have You Accepted Heather's Hair as Your Personal Lord and Savior?

Because if you haven't, you should. It's reaching toward what Rodeo would call "the heavens" and it's doing it for you. For you!

1.  Hurricane Tiffany

Everybody, all together: "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Tiffany may have only lasted two episodes, but she left an indelible mark on the show, coming up with the greatest VH1-spun catchphrase since Flav's gape-mouthed, "Woooooooooow." OK, so she really didn't have much competition with all the grunting and half-formed sentences that fly during these shows, but still! To test the endurance of Tiffany's magic words, here's a little activity for you to try: Go to a party, walk into a room, scream, "Don't threaten me with a good time," and you'll have at least one friend for the rest of the night. Fact!

After being dismissed on sight somewhat cruelly by Big John, Tiffany became a voice for the jilted by begging her way back into the house.

Once inside, she drank like an alcoholic camel...

...showed us what Bret would call "pole skills"...

...used Raven as a pool cue and/or sex toy...

...butt into everyone's business...

...pounded Bret's penis to a pulp...

...picked fights...

...and babbled incoherently...

Like, a lot.

Tiffany was rewarded with another night in the house, although a more appropriate gift would have been a sash reading "Queen of the World." The Rock of Love premiere was a finely chopped whirlwind of sexualized insanity that would have made Russ Meyer proud. It will go down as a classic episode of reality TV, and we have Tiffany to thank for at least 25 percent of the insanity.

Tiffany was sent home the following week, before she could get annoying or too sad. That turned out for the best, for on reality TV especially, it's better to burn out than fade away. See you in Charm School, Tiff!

But wait! There's more! Below are some of the best quotes from the entire season of Rock of Love. We're presenting them without commentary because, really, they speak for themselves.

Raven: "One of my favorite songs was 'Every Thorn Has Its Rose.'"

Kristia: "If we put our boobs together, we can think better!"

Tamara: "I am like Bret...girl."

Bret: "She beat my penis to a pulp and it was, you know, it was a dry beating."

Rodeo: "I'm turned on. I could probably have an orgasm if I had to."

Bret: "As you know, I love to rock..."

Rodeo: "I may be a Southern lady, but I manhandled that bitch."

Rodeo: "When I was a baby, I had five blood transfusions. And my grandmother's blood is the one that saved my life. I collect swords."

Sam: "So, Bret just kissed me and I think I heard angels sing, because I'm a dork."

Rodeo: "Kids love music and I'm trying to bring them into good music. And I love rock and I love country. That's why I wear my hat. That's why kids love me."

Brandi C.:

Bret: "The party was getting out of control and it possibly could kill me. And I'm not talking about in a good dying way, but an actual dying way."

Heather:

Brandi M.: "I'm not gonna turn gay. No, no. I can't see myself marrying a woman. I'll have sex with one, though. Don't get me wrong. But then I'll kick her out afterwards."

Magdalena: "Lacey's just a f***in' dirty sneaky bitch. She looks like a man. She looks like she's possessed by devils. She's just a freak."

Bret: "Dress warm and sexy...have a layer of sex."

Heather: "They're so yum-ola."

Jes: "Bret should have known that it was gonna be impossible to have a nice dinner with two drunk Froot Loops and a f***in' hungry stripper!"

Bret: "Here's the thing with Heather, and I call it, pole emotions, right? And by pole emotions, I mean, can I get her off that pole and get her onto my pole? It's a big, big thought going through my mind right now."

Heather: "Oh my hell!"

Heather: "The bull starts shimmy-shakin'. My tatters are flip-floppin' everywhere. People are cheerin'. Gosh."

Comments

[Michelle]

Oh Rich, I just love you. I'm SO going to miss this show!

[Michelle]

Oh Rich, I just love you. I'm SO going to miss this show!

[Gwen]

Rich, you are the best! What will I do without Rock Of Love in my life? How many days until the I Love New York 2 premiere?

[mla]

Awesome best of recap! Seeing the quotes all together just made me realize what a fabulous pop-cultural impact this show has had. I say "Oh my hell" in real life! You forgot one, tho': "Let's love right" and for bonus points "let's grab our kids L.A. style". I miss Rodeo!

[miss belle]

I had completely forgotten about Raven!
I, too, use Oh My Hell all the time now, and I'm waiting for an opportunity to tell people not to threaten me with a good time. So far, nobody has threatened me with a good time, just a punch in the face. Or is that the same thing?
I'd like to add a favorite moment:
The time Lacey goes to Bret's room to tell on one of the other girls. Remember that one time? No, the other time. Yeah, that time when it was actually called for.
Team Heather for the win, Team Jes for the sanity!

[Carlos]

You Forgot Number 11: Lacey Vs. Dallas And Number 12: Lacey Vs. Heather

[Tiffany Fan!]

Does VH1 know what a prize they have in you? The only reason I started watching that show was thanks to you, Rich, and you've made my days happier with your sassy commentary. Love you, love you, love you!

[Tiffany Fan!]

Oh, and Heather's week by week hair recap? Genius, baby!

[Andais]

Rich:

This is totally, the best recap ever! Seriously. The gallery of Heather's hair made me snort Arizona green tea through my nose. Erin was right...that hair is FUN! I am a Biochemistry major and I find Rock of Love is like brain candy, it is empty calories but good for the spirit. I also say "Oh my hell" in the lab all the time now...fellow students want to kill me.

[Joan]

Love you on Four Four, came here for more...You really nailed these wh...er, never mind. Love your fantastic pop culture recaps.

[skyduster]

a chronological history of heather's hair? the best! and best top 10 ever!

[ERIN]

THAK GOD BRET PICKED JESS, SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND NORMAL! THEY ARE AND LOOK GREAT TOGETHER

[clp]

the ten week recap of heather just proves that she looks like a drag queen.....not a female....jess was definitely the better choice....i hope they are still together.

[finding the filth]

when does rock of love 2 start?

[Mike]

Yeah, in the end, Brett got the best girl. I mean Heather, comeon....

[hope]

my absolute favorite part is on the last episode, when heather walks into the final elimination and jes says, "then i see heather walk in and i couldn't help but roll my eyes.. her 80s porn hair looks bad... really bad." and the way she says it is priceless.

[C-Man]

I watched the show from the very begining. Jess a 23 year old seem to be way more mature and less of a manipulative drama queen then the rest of the girls in the house. I don't know about Bret Michaels taste in women, but for me I like them real and that goes without saying is Jess. Just one more thing it really shouldn't matter what a person doese for a living it should matter what's in the heart and Heather, is all heart. BTW I had no choice in watching the show I thought Brett pathetic for doing it, he's Brett Michaels of Poison he can have any woman.

[Carolyn]

Brett Michaels is a really bad role model for people living with diabetes.

Shame on you, Brett. Now that you have announced you have diabetes, you have an obligation to young people and your fans to show them how one can have fun, rock out and take care of yourself!! Drinking and partying is a big no no with the disease and you know it!!!

http://www.diabetes.org/home.jsp

The show was so bad, it was good. I will miss it...

[tina]

at the runion "wtf" that was no ending wat happend did jes give bret to hether? "wtf" wat happened ugh...i hav to know

[TX_Tricia]

Well, I am so confused... first he said he is looking for the real thing love...then he picks Jes after "screwing half the "cast".
Then he retracks really after the show and then again on the reunion show tells heather he wants a relationship with her and sexual too. JEs comes out and then said he picked the wrong gal.
So? Although the show was sort of cool, I think Heather should just take him for all the partying he's got and let him pay the bill and she should just go for whatever.. Bret is never going to find anyone he thinks comes close to the integrety Jes had now that the "fans" know how he is just a PLAYER PERIOD.

[Nathan]

ewwwww I'm glad to see Jes did the show for fun, that would be kinda sick her dating a guy old enough to be her dad. Good luck in life Jess you seem pretty cool.