In this episode, Scott nears his breaking point...

See what six weeks without sex can do to a guy?

When we meet Scott, he's wailing on a heavy bag.

Doc Ali catches him and asks what he's doing. He says he's taking out his sexual frustration out on it. At least he isn't humping it. Doc wonders if he'd like to put her face on it while he frustrates away...

Lady, what the hell are you implying?!

They sit down and Doc lays this week's focus out: she doesn't think Scott can be intimate with a woman without having sex with her. Fair enough. What other ways are there? She suggests a cuddle party. Ugh. Besides that. Nothing, right? It's cramming or caressing and never the twain shall meet, right? Scott is, naturally, against the cuddle-party idea. "What am I gonna do, cuddle a man?" he asks. Only if you wear deodorant, Scott. You know how sensitive guys who like guys can be.

Doc asks Scott if there's any woman that he's been with sexually and sort of strung along -- a sex friend, you could say. He has, her name is Connie. Doc advises Scott to talk to her.

At this point, Scott pretty much goes off on Doc, saying that he's not sure if her guidance is working and that he's sick of "getting creamed." Well, now he knows how the women feel. Speaking of cream, he says he feels like he's "jerking off." Isn't that exactly what he's doing if he's not allowed to have sex for two months?

Therein lies his problem: it's not the program that's faulty, it's Scott's half-hearted approach to it. Doc Ali is wise. So wise, in fact, that Scott concedes to this. Wise and quite possibly magical!

Later, at the bowling ally with his brahs, Scott tells them about the cuddle party and invites them along.

"Cuddling is that annoying thing you have to do after sex," explains Scott. Well, when you put it like that, who wouldn't want to join you?

And then: dinner with Connie.

It's actually kind of sad. Scott introduces it by saying that Connie's basically the female version of him, so you figure that it'll be a breezy sort of sex-and-giggles conversation. Not so. As Scott probes Connie for her opinion on him, she calls him "sterile," "not passionate" and callous.

That's funny, that wince feels more like a splinter.

She says that she feels like the way he plans his day is via his black book -- he maps out a route and hits major stops. This is chillingly accurate. Scott eventually tells Connie that he needs to be just friends with her. Uh, shouldn't they have had this conversation when he started dating Renee? Connie is cool with that decision. What would have happened if she weren't? Scott says he needs to lay down since "emotional stuff" tires him out. Then, Connie says maybe the line of the series so far: "It wasn't even emotional! We had chicken!" Welcome to Scott's world, Cons.

The next day, Scott and Doc Ali discuss monogamy.

That's a help-these-shackles-are-tight level wince. Scott doesn't want to get married because, apparently, he thinks it makes men become hunchbacks and their wives become only interested in money. Doc Ali points out that if he doesn't want that, he can say that now and not have it. It's really that simple. Really. Again, Scott concedes. It's a magical thing, watching Doc Ali break him down, one logical point at a time.

Then, it's time for the cuddle party.

On the way, Johnny V reveals that he thinks the cuddle party will result in an orgy. He probably thinks a trip to the Sizzler buffet will resort in an orgy. With quality food at such affordable prices, you couldn't really call him wrong, either.

The arrive and it's super earthy crunchy.

Hugging commences.

We're introduced to the concept of a "massage toboggan."

And a little person (with the obvious name of "Shorty") basically hits on Scott:

Scott declines Shorty's invitation to cuddle. Little personist!

Scott takes this girl up on her offer, though:

And now he knows how to be intimate without having sex. The end.

Related Content
Watch Episode 5 Extras and Highlights on VSPOT
Browse Scott Baio Photos

Comments

[Susan]

You have to wonder if Renee knows that Scott has a f**k buddy. Why does he say he doesn't want to be old and single? He seems to hate the idea of living otherwise. It's so incredibly wince-worthy to him.

That line about the Sizzler killed me. Bravo Rich! Another hilarious recap.

[jen1]

Why does Scott's feet look so TINY in that bowling pic????

[Lisa M]

I'm actually PROUD of Scott Baio for trying to find something more in life than sexual flings.
That Johnny V guy has GOT to go. He is only USING Scott to get Scott's "left over" ladies. He does not really CARE about Scott, only using Scott to get women for him.

Also, when this show started, I thought Scott was a washed up actor, just trying to get on TV again. HOWEVER, after watching this show through the weeks, I would be VERY happy to see him on TV or in movies again.
I'm really PROUD of him for knowing it's time to grow-up and I think he will be SO happy when he does.
I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING HIM RETURN TO THE BIG OR SMALL SCREEN NOW. I'm actually IMPRESSED that he does not act like an idiot on this show but a GOOD man who is just hanging out with the WRONG people, like Johnny V. Of all the "child" stars that have had shows like this, I'm IMPRESSED with the "real Scott." He seems like a NICE guy with CLASS.

GO SCOTT!!!!! Marriage and children are wonderful. I was scared too of losing my freedom.. The thought of ONLY one guy forever was horrible. BUT.. It turned out great and I adore my husband and child!!

SOMEONE PUT THIS GUY BACK ON TV.. HE DESERVES IT AND WE WILL WATCH!! He's a great actor and NOW it looks like he'll be an ADULT not a "kid" any longer. Win-win for all.

[Carla]

I like Scott again. The first week of the show he seemed like a jerk, but as it goes on he seems sad.
That Johnny guy is horrible.
I want to see Scott on a new tv show now, I like him again.

[Teresa]

I feel like he's being pushed into marriage because he doesn't want to die alone, you should marry because you are in love, if you find the right person, you know it, you feel its right. If he hasn't felt that yet, he shouldn't be pushed into marriage it won't work, but I can understand not wanting to die alone. But being trapped in a loveless marriage can be torture too. Please think, marriage can be a big step, just because you don't want to die alone. Thats not a reason to get married, love is. But Scott does look like he is finally growing up, good for him maybe its time for him to fall in love. Maybe all this time, all these parties, hasn't given him the chance to fall yet. I think its time. Good for him on growing up.

[susan h.]

Dear Scott, you will be fine! if my husband can overcome the same insecurity about marriage and kids and the "same stuff" every night, you can too! Don't hurt her and you will not have any problems with her daughter. good luck!p.s. i hope "it's" a girl!