In this episode, we learn that hell hath no fury like a woman whose family can't get their noses out of her business.

Has Brooke been this mad, like, ever?

Ding dong!

Who's there?

Flowers!

Flowers who?

Flowers for Brooke from her new boyfriend that will result in an episode-long scheme to pull them apart.

OK, so it's not a knock knock joke, it's Brooke's life and it's pretty damn frustrating. Terry, of course, reads the card that comes with the flowers. It says, "Look forward to seeing you. Mark." Thus begins drilling from her family on the nature of her relationship with Mark.

Brooke's immediately flustered. "Did you kiss him already?" asks Linda, letting her inner 4th grader out to nag. Brooke won't answer that. The family grills her more and it turns out that Brooke has been seeing Mark for "a while, I guess?" How did that escape the cameras? More importantly, how did Brooke escape the iron grip of the Hulkster?

A few days later, Brooke prepares for a date with Mark.

She hasn't yet agreed to have him meet her family, but that doesn't mean her family won't do all the snooping they can. Nick catches Terry peeping, trying to get a look at Mark who's waiting for Brooke outside.

Nick's response?

"Cool! Whatever!" So terrorizing Brooke runs in the family. Nice.

Like the AWOL prisoner Brooke is, she sneaks out and rushes off, yelling goodbye to her dumbstruck dad.

She gets in Mark's car and she's like "Drive! Drive!" It's as though she just robbed the bank, and all she got was this lousy afternoon of freedom.

In the car, Brooke explains her stealth behavior and compares entering her house to entering a war. Mark says he'd love to meet her family. Mark is blissfully clueless.

During their aquarium date, Mark mentions the age difference between himself and Brooke, which is considerable (11 years -- he's 30), but says he doesn't think it'll be a problem. "And let me tell you why. Because..." Whatever Mark says to complete that thought is irrelevant. He doesn't think the age difference will be a problem because he has not yet met the Hogans!

After the date, Brooke's family gangs up on her again.

She finally relents after her relatives suggest that the real reason they aren't allowed to meet Mark is that he's fat and/or has acne. It's not him, it's you, Hogans. Regardless, before their next date, Brooke invites Mark in to finally meet the fam.

It goes terribly. When Mark tells Terry that he's a fitness model and personal trainer, Terry's responds by telling him that Brooke needs someone who's "consistent." This prompts an eye roll from Linda.

With the idealism of someone half his age, Mark mentions the age difference between himself and Brooke. When that's met with shock, he says that Brooke doesn't "feel 19." "What do you mean, 'She doesn't feel...?'" asks Terry. It's all over then. Brooke scoops Mark up and they go on their date. When Brooke returns home, she reprimands her family for meddling.

Like they care! Terry dreams up the idea of calling up Brooke's ex Jerry to create friction. Terry probably doesn't even like Jerry, because really, does he like anyone who takes a vaguely sexual interest in his daughter? Regardless, Jerry is the younger of two evils and a happy pawn in Terry's machination.

Terry reintroduces Brooke to Jerry. Brooke is clearly livid. She can't hang out with Jerry, anyway, since Mark's coming to pick her up to hang out. Sounds like a way out, right? Mark calls and Nick gleefully lets him in.

When Mark comes in, Terry introduces Jerry by saying, "Brooke used to date Jerry, or Brooke is datin' Jerry..." Jeez. This is becoming hostile.

And so awkward. Apparently, watching Brooke squirm is entertainment. Basically, the Hogans get their own Brooke Hogan concert right in their kitchen.

Brooke leaves, as does Jerry. At dinner, Mark asks about Jerry.

Brooke reassures him that it's not a big deal and that they're history.

Oh, if things could only stay that way. After another tongue lashing from Brooke on the way her family is behaving, she agrees to hang with Jerry.

"This is kinda romantic out here, isn't it?" asks Terry. Well, with you around, of course it is.

Terry gives Jerry cash to take Brooke out to a movie and dinner later.

While Brooke dines, Mark rings up the Hogans.

Mark is trying to get in touch with Brooke, but her phone's off. Terry tells Mark that Brooke's been hanging out with Jerry all day, only fueling his suspicions.

Mark finally gets in touch with Brooke and asks her what she's been doing. "Just hangin' out," is her reply. Smooth!

Mark's basically like, "Call me when you grow out of your training bra, Junior Miss," and that's it. It's over. Mission accomplished, Hogans.

Sensing her defeat, Brooke hatches a plan at the end of her date with Jerry: she knows that her parents are watching her from inside their house when Jerry's dropping her off and she wonders if he'll kiss her.

They really go at it. Terry and Linda are scandalized.

Whatever, people. You get what you pay for. Also, this means that nobody wins. Everybody loses. This has to be the most grim ending to a Hogan Knows Best episode ever!

Comments

[Just a Thought]

I think its in pretty poor taste that vh1 has been showing "hogan knows best" nonstop since nick's wreck. A young man was critically injured and its as though they are using it to promote the show.

[Chris]

hey hogan fans!
Okay I'm a 24 year old who enjoys watching the hogans on vh1.
I really enjoy brook and I would love to see her in perhaps a playboy spread or somekind of a risky shoot.Other than FHM,she might as well have been naked in that shoot!

[Kevin Beach]

I think that the hogans are the best you can tell that terry and linda good parents and that family is number 1 I would like to know them and hang out with the hulk I am sure it would be alot of fun keep up the good work and if you ever need some one ill cover you anytime

[Diana]

I just hope this wreck is a HUGE HUGE wake up call for this family....Young boys will speed and then you give em a top notch car with a top notch system....What did you really expect ?.....I love this show, Hulk looks like my father did so it brings back memories....Just remember Brooke is over 18 shorten the leash and use it to tighten down on Nick a bit eh.....Good Luck....Your in our thoughts and prayers....

[Debbie]

I love this show,it cracks me up when nick pulls his pranks on everyone,their reactions are hysterical,plus when hulk hogan was a wrestler ,you never got to realy know him,I think
he funny,hot,serious,and quite the family man,He is never afraid to do anything!!remember the episode when brook put his hair in pigtails LOL!!!
Anyway as far as nick's accident,I think it's terrible,I know he should'nt have been speeding,but what kid doesn't at one time or another,I'm not saying it's ok to speed but let's be honest,who hasn't!!! My prayers go out to both family's!!!!

[CNC]

Although Brooke is a young adult and can make her own choices, I think a 30 yr old boyfriend is ridiculous. I don't blame her father for being overprotective (the guy is 11yrs older). I have no idea what a 30 yr old wants with a 19yr old. I think brooke has to be more cautious when dating older men. You never know their motives, especially with a young, attractive, successful woman. Brooke is so young and there are so many guys her age (or 1yr or 2 older) that she could consider dating.