Scott Baio Is 45...and Single may be all about Scott Baio, but his life coach, Doc Ali, isn't. In addition to helping Scott sort out his love woes on TV, she's helping our readers sort out their problems online. If you need some advice on love, life and/or work, drop Doc Ali a line here. And check this spot every week to see if Doc has answered your questions.

After the jump, Doc Ali continues doling out the virtual guidance.

I do feel satisfied in life and my work, but I never seem to make time for romance and love.  So here I am in my fifties, single, with lots of friends but have never committed.  Why no time for love?  Is this just a fear of committment, being selfish, not meeting the right person or just loving my life? - Linda 

Doc says: Linda, If you want love, make a little time for love.  If you don’t, don’t.  My hunch is that you have a bit of fear around it and avoid relationships by filling your time with friends and work.  Make some space.  Take a risk.  Start telling your friends that you are opening yourself up to a romantic love…maybe even join an on-line dating site!  Then get ready for something new and exciting!. Doc Ali

I seem to have the issue of men leaving me when I tell them that I love them...and it doesnt matter how long Ive been with them.  They just eventually stop calling etc etc… - Jenna

Doc says: Jenna, Don’t stop telling men you love them.  But be sure your expression of “I love you” is coming from a place of loving them and not wanting something in return.  “I love you’s” that come from a place of desperation or wanting can be spotted by men ten miles away and send them packing!  Commit now to express I love you no matter what happens with the relationship.  Simply because it’s the truth!  And not for anything that you will get from them in return.  Doc Ali

You are so awesome....I really like this guy who I have been friends with for a couple months.  I like him so much that I get scared to talk to him or see him.  Why is this.  Do you think I feel this way because the relationship is not right? - Becca

Doc says: Thanks for saying that I’m awesome, Becca!  I think scared is good!  I like scared.  It’s my body’s way of saying “girlfriend, this could be something cool”.  So, face your fear and do it anyway!  That is living the Scream and Run Naked, kind of life!  You can’t know if it’s right or not until you spend a little time.  So….force yourself to do it.  It’s good to practice that type of uncomfortability anyway.  Let me know what happens!  Doc Ali

I think I am the female version of Scott Baio. I am 42 and married 3 times. Although I am not rich or famous. I have the same people issues & the wall thing Scott does with his hand. I do that all the time in discussing how I feel. I feel like I put myself behind a wall and guard my heart. Deep down I really know I am the one that reels guys in and when I get them-for some reason? I push them away.   I have been divorced 6 years now.I am ready to move forward. The thing Scott said about "being afraid of dying alone" is also my biggest fear. I am very anxious to see what is the answer for all of this.So I am going to try to do the same things you suggest for Scott.I hope that by watching this it will guide me on the same path to a healty relationship of my own. I have recently met someone and really hope this helps. He is a great guy and I do not want to hurt him .  So, thanks to You Doc,Scott, and VH1 for making this show.I'll cross my fingers for you & you guys cross your fingers for me! - Laurie

Doc says: My fingers are crossed for you Laurie!  Go to Screamandrunnaked.com and do my video blog along with the show.  That will really help!  Doc Ali

I feel like Scott Baio because whenever i have a girlfriend, i cheat on her. I don't know why but i feel bettter when i do. What is wrong with me? - Guillermo

Doc says: Dude!  You feel better when you cheat?!  What are you talking about!  You might feel better in the moment but it’s poison in the long run!  Here is your issue.  Deep inside you don’t feel OK about who you are so you “medicate” your insecurity by cheating.  Which actually, even if it’s unconsciously, proves to you that you are not OK.  Be committed!  You’ll find that when you have integrity you feel better and better about yourself and cheating becomes something you “used to” do!  Doc Ali

How can we discern between the excitement of meeting someone we are really attracted to, and the gut level reaction of having found someone who we are drawn to because they will help is repeat old familiar patterns of being in a relationship? - Tom

Doc says: Tom, a very complex question.  Number one:  excitement is good!  I like it!  You like it!  We all like it!  And if you don’t see warning signs that it’s the same old road of doom that you’ve traveled down before,  go for it.   BUT keep trusting and listening to that gut.  If and when your gut tells you “wait a minute, been there, done that” then have the “test talk” with your new exciting flame.  The “test talk” is when you put the issue out there, tell her what your pattern is, and what feels similar to you.  If there is a change….hooray!  You might be doing something different.  If it happens again, it’s time to find a new road.  Doc Ali

I have a friend in the same situation, He's 38. Can I get a copy of the contract your using????
I know it would be helpful, Thanks! - Marcy

Doc says: Hey Marcy,  The contract between Scott and I is one between a life coach and a client for the course of coaching.  Not something a friend would use!  All of our commitments were about situations pertaining to our work together and don’t have any relevance out of context.  (i.e. I will follow the directions of my life coach at all times)  Have him create his own contract…WITH HIMSELF!  Doc Ali

Alison!  How is it that I am so lucky to know someone as wonderful as you!  Way to go girl!  You look awesome and John and I will be tuning in to each episode- hope to see you soon!   Donna from the tribe in AZ!

Doc says: Thanks Donna, love ya girl! Doc Ali

I am 21 years old and have been in an exclusive relationship for over two and half years. I met the guy in our dorm during the beginning of our freshman year and we have been together ever since. I have always been the first person to say that we are going to get married one day and that he is the guy for me. Recently, when we both went back to our hometowns for the summer, I have developed a major fear of the idea that he will be the only person i have ever had a serious relationship with or slept with. I just told him that we needed to go on a break and see other people, with the intention of figuring out how i feel and eventually getting back together. I feel like, because I am graduating next June, this is the last chance I will have to experience other people or have a fling. He is devastated and doesn't understand why I need to be with other people in order to know that i want to be with him in the end. Are my feelings legit? Do breaks work? Or do you think this is it for us?  Britney

Doc says: Doc Ali relationship rule #17:  Never get married until you're 30.  Britney, your break is incredibly important.  You need to discover yourself intellectually, socially, spiritually, and sexually.   Between 20 and 30 you are still defining yourself and have no business committing for life.  If it is “meant to be” it will be there and you will be a far better person in the partnership because you will know who you are!  Good job.  Keep it up. Doc Ali

I am 16 about to enter my senior year and I recently made a decision to enter a g.e.d class and start doing something with myself because my high school career was trash lazy and so many words to describe it. Let's call myself irresponsible when it comes to myself I lack in health also. I spoke to my teacher about all my plans and goals and she said that I am mature when it comes to common sense but am immature when it comes to improving me and making me better. I ignored it and brushed it off until a few days ago and seeing the Scott show I notice I lack also in motivation. Am tired of sitting around, sleeping all day and I want to do so much stuff...Boxing class, study, read, work but yet I have the passion but I make no movements. I know I need to do something with myself I need to make my self proud and day by day am losing more and more hope and I have no friends to help me because they don't know what am going threw, they all stuck in their little drama problems and they don't notice this year has been the toughest for me. In the matter that I think I made a decision and now there a brick wall that am on. Sorry for rambling but my question is how do I motivate myself?  Roxanne

Doc says: Yes Roxanne, it’s time.  Life is too short to waste a moment of it.  After you read this I want you to make a list of all the things you want to do.  Sign up for Boxing class,  read “The Secret” or some other self-help book to fuel you, whatever it is.  There is no secret to motivation except discipline.  Make sure you are not doing any other addictions that keep you stuck, i.e. food, drugs. (especially marijuana.  Pot is the motivation stealer)  Reach out to a friend for help.  Have them keep you accountable or do things with you.  It always helps motivation when there are two!  Only you can do this.  So break out of being a victim, and make one small change.  One little risk.  The rest will come much easier.  Doc Ali

I rarely watch reality shows like this. Although I am a social worker and I can relate with Scott's issues on commitment. I would like to say I am not the type of person who sleeps with anyone or has cheated on anyone that I have been with. My personality is that I am always giving, giving, giving. I am a single parent of four beautiful girls and I am real independent. Probablly to independent. When you asked him to go back to past relationships and ask them the good and bad, I laughed so hard until my stomache hurt. I did that myself without anyone telling me to. I usually end up ending the relationships because my needs arent met. My last relationship was with a man for five years. I spoke with him about open communication and how important it was and I felt our communication lines were not open. Remind you I spoke with him about this for a year. Things didnt get better. My motto in life is that life is short and live it to the fullest. If your not happy get out. I do not give up easy and live outside the box. I always look at things from a positive perspective. I probably turn to many negative things around to positive things. Am I just attracting the wrong guys?? If so how do I change that. Please give me some direction. - Bobbi Jo

Doc says: Hey Bobbi Jo,  I like your motto.  Life is short and you definitely need to live it to the fullest!   It’s time to work your powers of creation.  Decide on the man you want.  Write it down.  Three pages.  Make a commitment that you will not settle for being the giver when you are not getting your needs met.  Make that statement to the Universe.  You are a very strong and wise woman, I can tell.  Decide what it is that you deserve, look at the childhood messages that you are repeating, and re-write your program.  There is something to look at in your childhood stuff.  Just call it Doc Ali’s crystal ball!  Keep me posted.  Doc Ali

Why am I afraid to talk to women that I really like or are really atractive. When I see a women that I like I hessitate to talk to her or some time I dont talk to her. I have been with out girlfriend for 5 years and also I am not able to get laid. I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I LIKE WOMEN VERY MUCH. I will apreciate any advice you can give. Thank you very much sincerely. - JESUS

Doc says: Jesus, the reason you feel afraid to talk to women is there is a part of you that doesn’t like yourself enough.  I’m not sure if you don’t feel attractive, or smart, or professional enough.  I don’t think your problem is about liking or not liking women, I think it’s about not liking yourself.  The way to build self-esteem is to take risks.  Ask three women you know to give you feedback about what you could change to be more attractive to women.  If you think their feedback is valid, act on it.  Take other risks as well.  Challenge yourself to be more friendly with women, ask them out, ask them for feedback.  Take other risks personally.  Do something you’ve always wanted to do.   All these things will build your self-esteem and that’s a great place to start.  Doc Ali

I really related to Scott's dilemma of being single and feeling that you are not where you should by now. I am a woman who is 37 and single.  I have dated a lot but not had a lot of serious relationships. Where do I start to work on this?  I'm sure you probably need to know more than this, but it's a start. Can you help? Thanks. - Lori

Doc says: Hey Lori, A good start is my fool proof first step.  You have probably seen this in other responses of mine.  Decide what you want.  Where DO you want to be?  Stop focusing on what “should” be. Just become very very clear on where you want to be.  Write it in detail.  Write about “him” in detail.  Make a collage.  Just get clear!  Setting intention about what you want is the first step to creating it.  Have fun with it!  Doc Ali

Like Scott, I have never been able to commit entirely. I got into a long-term relationship with a guy that can't commit; we broke it off after 4 years. I began to move on, when he suddenly came back into my life. Ever since then we've been on-again-off-again. I can't seem to move one because somewhere in the back of my head I always have the feeling we'll somehow may it work. How can I get out of this cycle with my sanity intact? - Iris

Doc says: Iris, say good-bye.  Then start clean time away from him.  Consider it detox from a commitment-phobe.  At least a year with no contact.  You’ve heard the definition of insanity right?  Doing the same thing over and expecting different results.  Your sanity will be intact, when this relationship is ended.  Not easy, but essential.  Doc Ali

Comments

[Jo]

Scott:
In watching your VH1 show, it seems one of the big downfalls in your life if your 'friend' John. You're a convience to his obsessions and he's bringing you down. It's a shame because you have a decent heart. It's just been misplaced. Seems harsh to say, perhaps, but he's like that extra drink that took the alcoholic's life. I wish you well in your life and hope you resolve your issue. Be well and God bless

[Sage]

DUMP YOUR BUDDY JOHN! He is your problem - what a freeloader he is and I agree with Rich. He is totally bringing you down.

[Erich Lingenfelter]

Scott Baio is 45 and single because he is a douche bag and he hangs out with douche bags. Not a difficult diagnosis...

[CindyO]

Scott,
I feel for your for the agony of what you are going thru, but until you do some serious "housekeeping" life is not going to get easier...
I don't think Renee is for you. You date the same "type" of women so that you don't have to remember what is special about each of them and you can get to your next conquest. IF Renee was the one you would know that you know.

GET RID OF JOHNNY V. HE IS USING YOU MAN! WHAT A POOR EXCUSE FOR A FRIEND!

THERE IS ZERO VIRTUE IS BAILING! Decide what you want and go for it. Life is too short and youris is 2/3rds gone.

Good luck!

[EEN]

My analysis: Scott Baio said it all. He has been told what to do since he was nine years old. So as he got older he told himself "When he gets big no one will tell him what to do" and he's sticking by that rule. He can't commit because he doesn't know how to or never had to. He needs to go back to that nine year old boy and ask himself... If he could change anything about that time in his life-what would it be. Then maybe he could focus on changing the adult Scott Baio.

[EEN]

My analysis:Was posted by EEN not Cindy O.
Scott Baio said it all. He has been told what to do since he was nine years old. So as he got older he told himself "When I get big no one will tell me what to do" and he's sticking to that rule. He can't commit because he doesn't know how to or never had to. He needs to go back to that nine year old boy and ask himself...if he could change anything in his life-what would it be. Then maybe he could focus on changing Scott Baio.

[ladyp3]

I just don't know why you keep johnnie v around its like he is a lost puppy just waiting for someone to let him come into the house. its really sad that he doesn't want to see you happy if you become involved in a serious relationship he no longer gets women and he is only thinking of himself he doesn't have your best interest at heart he just knows that if there is no scotty there is no party!!!!!

[Robert Polakoff]

Doc Ali,

Please Give me the Contact Information for you and the match makers. Thank you.

[Harold Wagner]

towhom it may concern, my name is harold ive seen your show ive always been a fan of scotts since day one i cant believe the things ive heard scott say im not only his double but im him ive been unfaithful to both my exwifes and every relationship ive ever been in like scott said i love womenand that will never stop but i want to be faithful and stop being a pig also the thing that probley hit me the most was affraid of dieing alone im 49 years old want to think im a good looking man great job but cantstop bieng a womanizer cant afford the help scotts gettingbut would love to get ypur perfessional advise i so wish i could talk to scott and ask questions that im sure only he could understand the things you guys are putting him through the show is unbeivable he has such a beautiful women and probally could have any women he wants i hope he dosent screw that relationship up i wish tv could do these kinda shows to regular people thanks for your time please respond if possible

[karen]

Hi Doc Ali, My husband has cheated on me so many times and I am now divorcing him because of that. At first I wanted him to find someone to cheat on him and feel the pain that he has caused me. But watching Scott not feeling bad for what he did put another perspective on my husband side that he will never feel bad. So watching this program made me realize that I am going to move on with my life and not think about what he has done to me. So thank you so much for the healing. Also Scott I don't like John he is so jelouse of you and I can't believe someone like him is in your life its like a bad movie. Also Scott brunetts have fun too lol.

[Erika]

Scott, being a psychologist myself, there's an understanding the many people seeking social help generally have the answers in themselves, they just need help uncovering them with all the clutter and confusion that surrounds them. I believe you have the answers in your heart and I'm glad to see you are trying to make a change for the better. It seems you really love Renee and want to be the best person for her. Keep up the good work!

[Becca]

Doc Ali, Can you please give me info about where your practice is at? I think your a wonderful life coach!

[Caroline]

The show is quite entertaining. A breath of fresh "reality" air in an otherwise stale summer line-up. Yeah, Scott's a jerk, but at least he realizes it and is trying to take a self-reflective journey. What you see is what you get with Scott Baio--at least that's how the show portrays him. What is perplexing to me is how emotional his past "flings" are about him. It seems that you would pretty much know what you were getting yourself into if you were dating him. He must have impeccable charm and charisma. He seems so afraid to approach them and rehash the past. His facial expressions are priceless. I look forward to seeing how the show evolves.