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March 06, 2007
The Surreal Life Fame Games Recap - Episode 7 - Hanging up on Chyna

If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and deposit 15 minutes...

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The episode begins on a congenial note: Traci Bingham and Ron Jeremy work out.

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If it surprises you that Ron works out, considering the overall state of his body, just imagine what he'd look like if he didn't. Not that it would matter to Traci, who says she loves Ron the way he is and that she thinks of him as "somewhat of a [sic] odd older brother." Yeah, it's somewhat odd to have your older brother constantly feeling you up.

Then, we cut to Chyna's puppies, and her...

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...dog.

Chyna is tired of her yappy little dogs. She is considering cooking them to shut them up.

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Just kidding. She'd never hurt her pets. But there is something very, "Time to make the donuts," about that shot, no?

So, anyway, she sends her dogs away. And when the dog's away, the master will...

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...try on Traci Bingham's jeans? Whatever, at least they fit. Traci says she can't believe Chyna's body and she surely is not the only person in the world to have ever said that.

Then, Robin summons the celebs and they sit in a formation like so:

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The first thing the celebs learn is that there is no more B-list. Everyone's competing for themselves. This is undoubtedly a relief to viewers tired of Traci's incessant whining. Then we find out the celebs' challenge for the week: they will have eight hours to phone Video_icon the most famous people they know in an attempt to get said famous people to call them back. The calls will be tallied and weighted. Star power will play a factor -- the bigger the star to call back, the more points for the Surreal Lifer who's called.

Verne is immediately against the idea.

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He says he doesn't want to bother any of his friends. Andrea, too, is against it.

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Though in her case, it's basically because she doesn't have famous friends. Rob takes issue with the challenge, noting: "So prepare to be hung up on, humiliated and feel like a dork." Yep, just Surreal Life Fame Games business as usual.

Helping screen the calls to make sure they're legit will be none other than:

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This way, Ron Jeremy can't lie and say, "I have Brad, Angelina, Maddox and Zahara all together on the phone!"

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The calls begin and immediately, the room fills with tension.

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Pepa yells out that people keep trying to call her back and it's busy. Rob shushes her and she says, "No, I'm trying to win." Sass and Pepa are a combination almost as wonderful as Salt-n-Pepa.

Andrea tries to calm her nerves via smoking.

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Traci freaks out when Ron calls one very special celebrity. She bolts over to Ron's space to say hi.

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She just couldn't hold back when she found out that Carrot Top was on the phone. That isn't a joke. It really happened.

Then, probably out of frustration, Verne gets all pissy and storms out.

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...or rolls out...

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Whatever. As soon as he does, of course he gets a call, and it's a good one: Ludacris. Then Jesse Jackson calls. Jeez, Verne has awesome friends.

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Rob goes to tell Verne the good news and finds Verne in his room. The turn of events gives Verne renewed interest in the competition. The moral of the story is that you should only participate in something if it goes your way.

Then Rob calls Pep claiming in a vaguely disguised voice that he's "La the Dark Man" from the Wu-Tang Clan.

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Pep falls for it, but don't be mad at her -- the Killa Bees' hive is vast! Bea Arthur could call and say she's from the Wu-Tang Clan and you'd have to look it up to know for sure if she was telling the truth.

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The eight hours ends (already?!) and Andrea's all broken up about how terrible things went for her.

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The breakdown starts here!

The celebs are herded back in the telethon room and told that they'll have yet another guest to weigh the point value of each celebrity callback:

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Andrea's all, "A Republican?!"

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Kennedy will rank what she deems are the Top 50 names on a specially designed meter. Rob takes issue with the meter. He says it's disrespectful that the people he got involved will be rated now. Wow. Lucidity for real. Rob says he feels that he's been deceived, and Robin points out that he made it clear that some celeb callers would fetch more points than others.

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Rob, who's practically ranting at this point, makes Kennedy jump through hoops to prove that she's qualified for the gig. Most of the hoops involve having an awareness of the people that called Rob like Ricky Carmichael. Kennedy, in fact, does know who he is and proceeds to place him near the top of the meter.

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But not over Carrot Top! Seriously, is Kennedy qualified to do this? She says her criteria is based on whom could get a table at Mr. Chow most easily. Yeah, I'm sure something Russell Simmons hears all the time is, "I'm sorry, Mr. Simmons. We have no room for you, what with our important clients like Carrot Top and all. Come back later." Kennedy's high placement of many of Rob's calls makes people wonder if he didn't somehow bully her into preferential treatment. The woman thinks Carrot Top is A-list. Anything is possible.

Now, let's check in with Andrea:

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She's freaking out. Kennedy hasn't ranked Sherman Hemsley and that was one of Andrea's surest bets. Andrea, it would seem, is moving on down. Andrea Video_icon cries and protests and eventually just asks Kennedy to put Sherman on the board, explaining that he's an icon. If George Jefferson is an icon, George Jetson is a prophet. Anyway, Kennedy ends up ranking Sherman at the top of the list.

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Even above Carrot Top!

For the record, this does little to calm Andrea's nerves:

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When all questionable decisions are made and all points are tallied, it turns out that Rob, Ron and Pepa are the only celebs to have scored over 200 points (Rob came in first with 265). In a stunning twist, it isn't Andrea who's being sent home this week, it's Chyna. No one's happy about that.

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Chyna Video_icon is gracious enough, and goes out with a toast.

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Everybody knows that Andrea Video_icononly got the points she did because she complained so much, and no one's scared to let her know that they think it's crap.


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She's all injured, but inside she's celebrating. She made through it one more week!


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Comments
Niecy

dare i say that vanilla ice is as useless as paris hilton? seriously wtf is his problem? kennedy as well. i can ask anyone young or old and they would know who Russell Simmons (and Ludacris and Jesse Jackson) is. ricky carmichael not so much. who is he anyway? i wanna punch ice in the face. i really hate that guy. okay im done.

Christopher Bohn

I am 26 years old and I don't know who the hell Russell Simmons or Ludacris is but I guarantee Jesse Jackson would be among the first to get a table at Mr. Chow's. I was wondering if anyone knows where I can find a list of the celebrities that called each contestant. I am wondering who Hank III called because he is probably the key individual keeping real country alive among young musicians. I also would like to know who all called the iconic Ron Jeremy. It is just plain stupid that VH1 doesn't post this somewhere. I didn't think that I could hate Vanilla Ice any more than I did after Surreal Life 2, but everytime I see that baby he just makes me hate him more and more. Kennedy just plain sucks. People will get a table at Mr. Chow's based on name and/or face recognition. No one but Vanilla Ice and her knows who the hell Ricky Carmichael is and they sure as hell wouldn't recognize his face. After the show was over, my cousin went to the channel guide, and sure enough, two back-to-back episodes of The Jeffersons were playing. Everyone knows who George Jefferson is. And Flava Flav probably should have been #1 because he is one of the hugest celebrities in the country right now.

Carla

I am truly at another place with this show. This week was very disappointing. First of all how in the world can you judge who is famous and who is not! I knew some of those people and then there were others I did not know…but who is anyone to say, “oh he/she is more important than him/her.” Well Well Well…. Be careful who you judge…Andrea you know how to play the game girl because you know you should have been going home, but Kennedy felt sorry for you. Is that how the game goes? See who wines the most? Who tries to intimidate the most? Kennedy did not even follow her own rules per say. It was wack and I definitely won’t be watching this show anymore.

Niecy

Christopher Bohn | March 06, 2007 at 03:58 PM
i refuse to believe that u dont know who ludacris is and ur a year older than me. u must not own a television, car, or radio. that's ludicrous, lol. but everything else u say is very believable.

Joanne

Kennedy needs to retire right along with Sherman Hemsley, isn't he DEAD? Ludacris has won an Oscar and Grammys, where has Kennedy been. Who in the blue hell is Ricky Carmichaels anyway???? Andrea should be gone and Vanilla Ice is way too much drama. Hopefully Pepa will come out on top since she is the only one showing class!

Sarah

I can't believe that there are people who will admit to not knowing Russell Simmons.

Jessica

Kennedy is a dumb bitch...if I was Chyna I would have a personal vendetta against her for single-handedly screwing the whole game for everyone. And I cringed when she appeared on the screen, that hair and outfit...nasty. I hate her after this display.

sabrina

did anyone notice that carrot top was above
venus williams? i would love a list of the celebrities that called back because obviously the "qualified" host judge was anything but!! seriously, how in the world would anyone think that ricky carmichael(who i had to google by the way) is more famous that jesse jackson?! or that carrot top would get a table quicker that venus williams?! this week was ridiculous and obviously just done to create drama!

Jeremy

Wow, the years have not been kind to Kennedy. Seriously, where do they dig up these people? The Old Celebrities home -- where FORMER VJs go to age poorly? Oy.

Steve

thank goodness the blog is here since the board looks like it got wiped. Kennedy is over on the Fox Reality channel on the show Reality Remix fyi
I never minded her...until I saw this, it was pitiful. I used to really like Chyna doll, these days I've more felt sorry for her, but here? she was cheated by a stupid, easily swayed judge.

that said, I think Jessica hit on something up there:
"and obviously just done to create drama!"

rebekah

God, could there BE a more pathetic person than Kennedy? I thought Vanilla was pretty sad, not to mention Andrea (who IS this ugly beady-eyed trashy looking heifer anyway?) but Kennedy's pitiful bow to bullying is just too excruciating! She's such an extreme loser (sorry to get all Donald T on you guys)and absolutely hideous. I am such a HUGE fan of Chyna Doll now, she's like the poor man's Anna Nicole and I love her! UGH! Is anyone else sick of the meth trash couple that is Vanilla and Andrea? I hope they get humiliated AND eliminated (not really because then who would I hate?)! Only on this show could Vanilla Ice feel like a king again! That's kinda sweet...

Vanessa

Who is Sherman Hemsley and who the hell is ANDREA! I don't even know her last name. She is such a nobody. She has no personality what so ever. Her facial pictures are weak. Her body doesn't turn many heads. Put Traci Bingham or Chyna Doll right next to her, and you'll see what i mean. She is dull and a cry baby. I was just hoping she would get kicked off in the first episode, because even to this day i don't know why she is on this show. I thought this show was based on being a celebrity or somewhat famous. She probably is on this show because she did the director or producer some sexual favors. Yeah, she might not cut it in Hollywood, but i bet she can find a nice corner in Vegas! This show is rigged.

FlaggerGirly

Rickey Carmichael Is the worlds most Natually talented Motocross rider. If you have never seen a race live go down to your local dirt track and watch one. Its amazing how those guys can go so fast with 30 other riders around corners, berms, over huge tabletops, clear 90ft jumps, remove goggle covers in mid-air, Eat crap(alot) and come back every week to do it again....Ricky carmichael is the most consistant Athlete in any extreme sport. Hes also a nice guy. Ice, I cant wait to see you come out to Cali and ride some of the local tracks in Riverside! Try to get a hold of the current Top rated guy in any sport...Now Thats hard to do

MR.SCREAM

REALLY, WHEN WILL THIS SHOW END?

IT'S SILLY AND UNIMAGINABLY BORING!

UNDOUBTEDLY THE MOST BORING AND USELESS REALITY SERIES EVER.

C'MON VH1! WHO GIVES A SH!T ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?

GIVE VERNE HIS OWN SHOW, AND STOP BORING ME.

Melinda

I thought Vanilla Ice was such a baby for getting so upset that the celebrity friends he called were not going to be ranked high enough for him to win. Kennedy was such an idiot for allowing him to bully her; what a disappointment that was. I do not listen to rap music, but I sure know who Ludacris is. I definitely do not know who Ricky Carmichael. I'm sure he's popular, but not more popular than Ludacris. Chyna Doll was very gracious and nice in accepting to go home. You stay confident Chyna Doll! As far as Andrea, also such a disappointing competitor, what a baby. You and Vanilla Ice must get along well.

mathew

chyna doll needs to go back in the surreal life fame game no lie you need you chyna doll.

Jasmine

Is chyna doll a man? Peppa goes along with everything..Andrea Bi-Polar....Vern could use some of andreas meds. Rob RUN to anger management class.Ron drops names every 25 seconds. Tracy big big flirt then if someone flirts back she gets so virginal cut it. Bi_polar reality

Noah

Ricky Carmichael was deffinatly not number one, but then I wouldnt say he's totally not famous either, I know nothing about motocross but I know his name really well for some reason. Ice also had Flavor Flav and Hank Williams III call him back, those were some big names along with Gavon Degraw and Chuck Lidell, Chuck is a monster. I think regardless of Ice bitchin his list still would of been one of the top on anybodys rating list maybe not top but deffinatly top 3 alongside Ron and someone else maybe vern or peppa or traci... but I dont think Ice was trying in anyways to influece the judging he was just gonna feel bad his friends were being rated and I understand that.... I think Ice will hopefully win this thing, As much as I dont like Chyna I wish she was still on the show along with CC and I wish freakin Andrea was off she should of never been on in the first place. Peace

gigi

How big is Andrea Lowell's ego?

Don't turn your back on this one! Watching Andrea gloat after her "teary performance" during Kennedy's nonsensical judgment reminds me of a crocodile's grin...if she had any integrity she would have bowed out gracefully...but some gals have no class.

But Andrea's already proved that she'll do anything to become famous...posing nude in Playboy comes to mind...

Nick

Verne didn't score Jesse Jackson. He scored Jesse Jackson, Jr. Big difference. Sr would have been on top of the list (although, with Kennedy doing the scoring, you never know). Jr. didn't even make the top 50.

How does Kennedy keep getting work? Her whole career is based upon being obnoxious and having absolutely no relevance.

shelia

Kennedy don't know what she is doing. Andrea is the loser.Im done with the show.Its RIGGED.

B-Blue

I have to say that Rob has a big problem. For as old as he is, he acts like a child. Whenever he doesnt get his way he blows his stack. Such a poor loser and that is just what he is, a loser. He seems just fine when things go his way, but once they dont, watch out and duck! He needs to go and not be invited back.

Ron on the other hand is still my hero. Not that he is a porn star, but he seems genuine and kind. What a sweetie.

Brandi

I think the lady that did the scoring needs to find a different job. Under pressure she gives in to the anger ones and the sad titty babys. Andrea should have been the one to go home. I'm glad she is finally off of there. She is not a celebreality. I'm wish Chyna had a second chance. That girl, did her wrong!!!!

genesis

guys please put tom green in the surreal life!

goat

ricky carmichael is god. he is better than anyone else on this show. if you dont know who he is then you should know.

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