...de recap! De recap!
In The Surreal Life Fame Games ,10 former cast members of The Surreal Life compete in games that test their popularity for $100,000 and, of course, glory. Really, it's not as sadistic as it sounds. Kind of. Our recaps will go over the week's competition and present a few highlights that occur during the celebs' downtime, as they live together in the Surreal Life mansion.
First, let's check out the celebs:
All in? Great! Except, shortly after entering the house, Jordan gets some bad news...
Sadness. He leaves, and his spot is filled by...
Just kidding. Cherry would mop the floor with these celebs. It wouldn't be fair to have her in.
Jordan's real replacement is...
Let's all pray that his penis does not provide a plot point. No more drunken peeing, Verne!
Oh, by the way, this guy's the host:
The first competition involves pictures. The celebs are stationed in a big, outdoor area and random people are to select the one they'd like to take a picture with. The person with the most requests wins, and the three with the least go on to another competition.
This woman is the first to pick:
She requests a photo with "Salt and Pepper." Uh, first of all, lady, Salt isn't there. Second of all, "Pepper" is a tomboy orphan in Annie. Pepa is a pioneering female rapper. God! Does it even count as a sign of your fame if someone requests a picture by calling you the wrong name?
Anyway, the competition goes on and, late in the game, C.C. has gotten zero requests, so he addresses the crowd, telling them he'll split "the cash" (What cash? The ultimate $100,000 prize? Do these people really think he's going to contact him after this second?) with them.
This is totally cheating, and no one seems to care.
In the end, here's how the scores turn out:
There's a three-way tie for second-to-last place, which just won't do. A tie-breaker round pulls Manny (Emmanuel Lewis) out of the bottom.
Chyna takes her loss hard.
Like, really hard:
It's like the high-school cafeteria all over again. But really, a quantitative measure of your lack of popularity is a sobering thing. You know, unless you're the president.
The bottom three of Chyna, Verne and Andrea are made to compete in another game:
The winner will stay on the "A list," while the losers will be exiled to the "B list" wing of the house.
It seems a little crappier than the rest of the digs, but whatever, it's still in a mansion.
Anyway, this game is even easier than the last one. Its subtitle is Swagbag Showdown, and all the celebs must do is pick from a gift bag without looking. Whomever are the first two to get cheap prizes instead of cool ones lose. See? Easy. And it's even easier than that, as the celebs don't even have to pick for themselves -- assistant Inga brings the bag around and reaches in for them.
Inga is also available for teeth flossing, butt scratching and knuckle cracking.
The celebs pull things out of the bag like a portable DVD player, a silk tie and a universal remote. All good gifts. Eventually, however, Chyna pulls out a tape player...
...and Verne gets a tube of bubbles...
Since these prizes suck unbelievably hard, it means that Chyna and Verne will be confined to the "B list." Andrea wins and is allowed to keep her "A list" status.
It's not quite clear what being banished to the "B list" means exactly (Will Chyna and Verne have to stay there indefinitely? Will other celebs join them? Will Saw-inspired torture be involved?), but we'll probably find out next week.
What is clear, however, throughout the episode is that Chyna and Brigitte have a thang for each other:
It's kind of amazing. Brigitte says early on in the show: "You know what? I'll turn lesbian on this one." And turn she does!
When it turns out that Chyna is going to the "B list" wing, Brigitte gets worried. "Can we stay together tonight?" Uh, no. She's leaving. "Can I come visit?" Whoa. She's not just turning, she's cranking with all of her might. This will probably result in strange editing of even stranger behavior that makes the nature of Brigitte's relationship with Chyna ambiguous. Will they or won't they? Are they or aren't they? Is Strange Love II brewing? Who knows? It'll be fun trying to figure it out, though.
Check out exclusive extras from episode one only on VSPOT!
TrackBack URL for this entry:
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference The Surreal Life Fame Games Recap - Episode 1 - Why don't you take a picture? Your fame will last longer...:
The comments to this entry are closed.