Look, boss...

...de recap! De recap!

In The Surreal Life Fame Games    ,10 former cast members of The Surreal Life compete in games that test their popularity for $100,000 and, of course, glory. Really, it's not as sadistic as it sounds. Kind of. Our recaps will go over the week's competition and present a few highlights that occur during the celebs' downtime, as they live together in the Surreal Life mansion.

First, let's check out the celebs:

All in? Great! Except, shortly after entering the house, Jordan gets some bad news...

Sadness. He leaves, and his spot is filled by...

Just kidding. Cherry would mop the floor with these celebs. It wouldn't be fair to have her in.

Jordan's real replacement is...

Let's all pray that his penis does not provide a plot point. No more drunken peeing, Verne!

Oh, by the way, this guy's the host:

The first competition involves pictures. The celebs are stationed in a big, outdoor area and random people are to select the one they'd like to take a picture with. The person with the most requests wins, and the three with the least go on to another competition.

This woman is the first to pick:

She requests a photo with "Salt and Pepper." Uh, first of all, lady, Salt isn't there. Second of all, "Pepper" is a tomboy orphan in Annie. Pepa is a pioneering female rapper. God! Does it even count as a sign of your fame if someone requests a picture by calling you the wrong name?

Anyway, the competition goes on and, late in the game, C.C. has gotten zero requests, so he addresses the crowd, telling them he'll split "the cash" (What cash? The ultimate $100,000 prize? Do these people really think he's going to contact him after this second?) with them.

This is totally cheating, and no one seems to care.

In the end, here's how the scores turn out:

There's a three-way tie for second-to-last place, which just won't do. A tie-breaker round pulls Manny (Emmanuel Lewis) out of the bottom.

Chyna takes her loss hard.

Like, really hard:

It's like the high-school cafeteria all over again. But really, a quantitative measure of your lack of popularity is a sobering thing. You know, unless you're the president.

The bottom three of Chyna, Verne and Andrea are made to compete in another game:

The winner will stay on the "A list," while the losers will be exiled to the "B list" wing of the house.

It seems a little crappier than the rest of the digs, but whatever, it's still in a mansion.

Anyway, this game is even easier than the last one. Its subtitle is Swagbag Showdown, and all the celebs must do is pick from a gift bag without looking. Whomever are the first two to get cheap prizes instead of cool ones lose. See? Easy. And it's even easier than that, as the celebs don't even have to pick for themselves -- assistant Inga brings the bag around and reaches in for them.

Inga is also available for teeth flossing, butt scratching and knuckle cracking.

The celebs pull things out of the bag like a portable DVD player, a silk tie and a universal remote. All good gifts. Eventually, however, Chyna pulls out a tape player...

...and Verne gets a tube of bubbles...

Since these prizes suck unbelievably hard, it means that Chyna and Verne will be confined to the "B list." Andrea wins and is allowed to keep her "A list" status.

It's not quite clear what being banished to the "B list" means exactly (Will Chyna and Verne have to stay there indefinitely? Will other celebs join them? Will Saw-inspired torture be involved?), but we'll probably find out next week.

What is clear, however, throughout the episode is that Chyna and Brigitte have a thang for each other:

It's kind of amazing. Brigitte says early on in the show: "You know what? I'll turn lesbian on this one." And turn she does!

When it turns out that Chyna is going to the "B list" wing, Brigitte gets worried. "Can we stay together tonight?" Uh, no. She's leaving. "Can I come visit?" Whoa. She's not just turning, she's cranking with all of her might. This will probably result in strange editing of even stranger behavior that makes the nature of Brigitte's relationship with Chyna ambiguous. Will they or won't they? Are they or aren't they? Is Strange Love II brewing? Who knows? It'll be fun trying to figure it out, though.

Check out exclusive extras from episode one only on VSPOT!

Comments

[Kimberly]

I felt so bad for Chyna not getting enough pictures with people. If I was there I would have had my picture with her. She has been through so much and seems to wear her heart on her sleeve. I admire her for not giving up and coming through on top of everything that she goes through. Keep your chin up...I'm on your side! There are people out there that are fans of yours Chyna, and I for one am one of those fans!!! Keep your chin up!!!

[Gina]

I thought Rob was fantastic on this episode. It's awesome that he had so many fans want his picture in the game. It just goes to show that he has come so far musically, as well as personally from where he was in the early 90's. All I can say i I hope Rob takes the whole thing and I can't wait to see more of him!!!

[allison victoria chance]

china doll i'm in love with you...my name is haven,
call me if you want to date a first class lesbian

[Jacquie]

I think you are on to something with Strange Love 2.
Ya, I'll watch that too. I wonder if Flav will make a cameo here to stir it up. Chyna Doll has really pulled it together for day one! And CC's hair / mane is nothing short of glorious. Great recap.

[JON EARLY]

HEY CHYNA DOLL BABE I MISS YOU SO BAD ON WRESTLIN BABE IM GLAD THAT YOU FOUND SOMIN ELSE SEXY 2 DO WITH YOUR SELF BABE,BY THE WAY BABE DO YOU HAVE AY MYSPACE CAUSE I WOULD LOVE 2 HAVE YOU AS MY #1 SPECIAL FRIEND ON MY MYSPACE BABE,ANYWAY I HOPE YOU DO GOOD ON THE SHOW OK SEXY IM RUTING 4 YOU BABE BEST OF LUCK 2 YOU SEXY OK KISSES & HUGES 2 YOU MY SEXY QUEEN DIVA HOLLA AT CHA MAN UP ON MY MYSPACE OK I SEE YOU LATER OK BYE.

[Tuna]

Oh no, what are they going to call this spin off? Come on Rich, come up with a pithy name.

[Cheeta]

Chyna, you are an extraordinary woman! It would be an honor to know you one day. Keep your head up! I hope you won this thing.

Cheeta

[Nina]

I just wanted to know if Chyna is a woman or a man. I always though she was a she but after watching the first show but now I have to think.

Ney

[Gdragonfly22]

Is there a contact email for Chyna Doll? Is there an official fan site? I don't expect to reach her personally. lol Just wondering if she has an official fan page. Thanks! Gina

[Niecy]

vanilla ice is lame. i dont understand how there are people that dont have the urge to kick him in his face. he should be shot in the face. well now that i have said that...isnt funny that they're fightin to stay in the "A-List" when none of them, with the exception of Pepa (maybe) have never ever been there?

[Jesus Christ (SuperStar)]

is jordan knight the boy band member that came out?

i love joanie laur. she is by far more talented than that arrogant little verne troyer. what happended to his legs. is it my imagination or did he have them at one point.

vanilla ice ice ice baby......ahem, sigh, sad,

jack jett
http://jack-e-jett.wowtv.tv/

[Katie]

VERNE YOUR GREAT! It breaks my heart that you feel so sad about life. There are people out there who love you! Your important to them. I'd take a picture with you in minute.

[Jo'nn Jo'nzz]

What the hell? Chyna aint famous? Man, did you all forget about D-X? First lady to the baddest WWE cliq in history? Baddest WWE Women's Champion? If not for Chyna in most ways there would be no WWE Women's Champion? No Trish Stratus. No Lita. By the by, Chyna's no dude. She's just a big girl. 6'3, muscle bound, dark hair, and had a dark past. Damn thats a bad chick. Don't hate the Doll, hate the fact you aint up on game.

[Daniel]

Joanie Chyna Doll Laurer rocks if theses were real contests she would definatly win like cause she definatly got it on the physical side and she has certainly got the brains as well. She has a double major from the university of Tampa and well you have all seen what she can do physically. She ain't dubbed the 9th wonder of the world for no reason.

Luv u Chyna doll

[Davidf]

Chyna is the best cast member...i would have had my pic taken with Chyna anyday of the week,she is the greatest...I know she could kick anyone of those cast members asses if she wanted to,she should def. come back to WWE!!!!!she aslo deserves to be on the A-LIST!!!!

Chyna, I LOVE U

[Angel]

Poor Chyna! I wish I could have kept up with Vegas news to know that it was being filmed here! I woulda been there!! Chyna is an awesome lady whose been thru hell and back and she's still here!!! She's just awesome and gives hope to those of us who have a rough stretch and she's dearly loved!!

[Hello there!!]

Ron Is totally hot!!!!

[juggalette2282]

I am SO rooting for Rob aka V-Ice to go all the way!! anybody that thinks he's just a washed up white rapper from the 90s must not be clued in to the new stuff he's got out nowadays...its tight as hell...he's definitely A-List all the way!! woooot wooooot

[jennie]

sucks that jordan had to leave.......darn shame.

[Amanda LeMaitre]

I think that Chyna Doll is hot. I would of gotten a picture with her. I watched her on WWF when she was on it and still she is as beautiful as she was then. Chyna Doll I will go out with you any day. Hit me up sweetheart.

[Theresa]

C.C. - You still got it going on baby!

[Spider]

I don't care what anybody says. CC is still smokin hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Liana]

ummm....basically C.C. makes the show

loveee

[D]

I think what CC did to get votes not to be in the bottom three makes him the real B-Lister. He should have been called on it. I would have so gotten my photo with Chyna Doll. She ROCKED the wrestling world!!!

[Nikkie]

Omg, it was sooooo upsetting that Jordan had to leave! I love New Kids... but I'm even a BIGGER Poison fan. I really hope that C.C. and Andrea hook up. they complete eachother!

<3 always,
Nicole (#1 C.C. Deville fan)