It ain't easy bein' white (at least, in hip-hop it ain't...)

It's time for Ego Trip's The White Rapper Show, the search to find America's next top white rapper, since we believe in affirmative action, even in hip-hop. One of these lucky lyricists will take home $100,000 and some sense of glory when all is said and done:

(Dasit's Myspace)

(John Brown's Myspace)

($hamrock's Myspace)

(Misfit's Myspace)

(Persia's Myspace)

(G-Child's Myspace)

(Jus Rhyme's Myspace)

(Sullee's Myspace)

(Jon Boy's Myspace)

(100 Proof's Myspace)

Along the way, they'll be put to the test by MC Serch of golden-era hip-hop group 3rd Bass:

Encouraging, isn't he?

After moving into a space in the South Bronx...

...the white rappers are given a challenge that will help them get to know their new environment: they're to rap for their neighbors. Teams are selected...

And, they're off:

Most impressive are $hamrock, who twists his tongue around this, and Persia, who's as belligerent as she is skilled. She battles strangers and wins their respect.

Oh, and both groups get to meet this legend...

But the best couplet comes not during the challenge, but back at the white house...

"John Brown is a bitch and the clown of the house / I got a dildo in my drawer, I could put it in his mouth"

First of all, why did she bring a dildo to a reality show? Did she really think she'd have any alone time? Or does she usually use it as a weapon (it's an act of violence, not of sex!)? Regardless, John had been getting on Persia's nerves with his jibber jabber and yip yap about being the "King of the Burbs" and heading a "ghetto revival," two things that would seem to be at odds with each other (we're, in fact, never explained how they aren't).

Things get so heated that Sullee even steps in to defend Persia, even though she's doing a great job herself (really, he should have stepped in to defend John, if he was going to get involved)...

Ah, gender roles. Don't be surprised if they feature prominently in the weekly raps.

Anyway, Persia eventually makes good on her word, producing said dildo and waving it in John's face...

Do you think she dons a strap-on when she's feeling murderous?

Anyway, besides the obvious absurdity, this is awesome for two reasons: John's expression in the screen shot above, and for Sullee and $hamrock's embrace that occurs as soon as the dildo is produced:

Ah. There's nothing like a dildo to set the mood.

Oh, this display of Persia's, by the way, is fueled by alcohol, as is this:

She starts throwing around the "n-word" and offends Jus Rhyme (and, most likely, a large chunk of the viewing audience...)

As punishment for throwing around the dreaded "n," Serch makes her wear this ridiculous chain the next day:

She even has to keep it on while they mini-golf:

But eventually, she's made to feel embarrassed by it (and not, as far as we can tell, her butterfly-wing-shaped sunglasses). She breaks down, saying, "I'm embarrassed that I called him out for being an idiot, and I sounded just like an idiot." Funny how that works.

In the end, Team Persia are named the winners of the challenge and have immunity for the week. Team John Brown are given one final challenge: to write a rap based on their experience in the South Bronx so far. Everyone does fairly well, except for Dasit, who writes nothing. What is awesome about this is that it gives Serch the opportunity to go Tyra Banks on his ass and rant about all the people who tried out, who could have had Dasit's spot. In the end Dasit is eliminated because he didn't want it enough.

In addition to what we learned above, here are a few more lessons that the episode revealed:

Lesson 1:

'Nuff said.

Lesson 2:

Avril Lavigne, watch your back: G-Child is coming for your career!

Lesson 3:

Misfit is a stone fox.

Lesson 4:

Get used to seeing white trash.

Lesson 5:

Any questions?

Check out extras from episode one and get the stories behind the contestants only on VSPOT!

Comments

[Tania Scott]

I LOVE SULLEE CUZ HE'S JUST LIKE ME,REPPIN BOSTON TO THE FULLEST YA DIG AND $HAMROCK IS JUST WAY TOO DOPE FOR TV, HE CAN COME SEE ME AND WE CAN MAKE OUR OWN TV SHOW :) I LOVE THE OTHER RAPPERS TOO THEY GOT GOOD FLOWS AND DASIT WAS STUPID FOR NOT WRITIN ANYTHING BUT HE'S STILL A GOOD RAPPER

[Clara Lusane]

Why oh Why did you not mention Sullee almost breaking his ass when he went to go defend persia. That was priceless!!!!

[Ms. Jade]

I think John Boy should have whooped Persia's A**

[Randy]

Persia needs to learn that respect that only an azz (fat azz) whopping can teach. That dildo would have been slapping that bytch's face she put it in mine.

[Shannon]

Rich, I think one of the reasons I am such a big fan of yours is because you understand the basic rules of humor, one of them being recycling. When I read "John had been getting on Persia's nerves with his jibber jabber and yip yap..." I almost fell out of my chair. I can't wait for the I Love New York recaps in the weeks ahead. I'm a long time fan of your four-four recaps, and I couldn't help but smile at the Tyra reference toward the end. Well done. Well done indeed. :)

[Persia]

Lmaooooo that was GREAT !

[Mike chesterton]

White rapper show huh? well Im white im a rapper and I can tell you right now I would eat any of these kids up. I think it's rediculous that they put all these kids on this show when NOT ONE of them can spit. Put me on the show and I promise you I will kill the compitition.

Lets sit back and kick the free a bit, none of these clowns can spit, the last thing they rapped was a gift, and persia me and your ego got beef, so it's your ego I will defeat "I will eat your food" well whos food wouldnt you eat, and john wanna toss the tool a bit, last name brown cuz he sound like S*it, some one get persia a muzzle, tie her hands to her back and keep her away from the truffles... Imrovise

[Scott Brown]

This is D'VILLE. I'm a lyricist from Tallahassee, FL. I've been in the rap game for ten years. My DJ and I have a group called Concept Deep. I’m glad to see a show like this because I'm a white rapper and it's hard to get respect. But I promise if I were on this show I'd clown on all those other rappers. If Persia stepped to me like that she'd get served! If I had the honor of meeting Grandmaster Flash in the birthplace of hip-hop it would mean something to me, and trust me, I'd have lyrics for that!!!!!

[Ali]

GET JOHN BROWN OFF OF THE SHOW! ENTITY? GHETTO REVIVAL? GET THE F*** OUTTA HERE!!

[Cormac]

i got two questions:

is there gonna be a season 2 to White Rapper?

where do i sign up?

[Rock]

im only here to dis on these artists, i spit wit the hardest
these rappers are garbage,id harvest a new plot, sh*t ill take over this blog and be the new king of the v spot,
freestyle well rap was always free and if money was the motive then the motive was always me, now jhon brown its just to easy to diss you,ya like one big sh*t stain if you were gone nobody would miss you, oh you reppin davis wit that ghetto revival,well ive been to davis there aint a ghetto for miles, and maybe he may be the king of the burbs, but the way i see it you just the king of the nerds ill smack the taste out ya mouth, then send you hip hop school so youll know what hip hops about, this guys an imposter sombebody get em some help wait its too late he allready killin him self...... jhon brown is garbage and id chew his as* anytime... bay area biatch get you some

[Amber]

Persia needs her A** beat, talking about she can use the n-word cause she from the hood. I don't know who's hood she's from but she would be killed in my hood with that Bullsh*t. I was lovin the show at first but I'm done watching it now. Keeping her on the show is just condoning her language. There is pain behind that word that she could never understand, and she shouldn't be allowed to disrespect a people like that on television.

Show some respect for your viewers!!!

[Daniel Aka Ether]

Ok Mc Serch if your reading thiss.... put me on your show i dont want 100 G's i dont need that shit... i want the attention of the public and ill knock off everybody on this show... i want hip hop to be revived, i want clever lines, lyricism, originality, the REAL HIP HOP... im only 18 and i know i got something to offer... You were the man who heard Nas and found the genius in him i know youd find the same in me... please get in touch

One Love
~Ether~

[kcnut]

Persiai thought this was for the next great rapper not the next great fat cracker.

[Exposed]

Where do I begin?.. At first I was like, "Yo, I'm bout to to check this little show out"! It was kool,...then, you know it and everyone like me "black" just knew some dumb A*$ was gone say Ni@@a! I was heated! for real!!
Persia, hatin on a dude (john b) who so far appears to be the brightest one in the house talkin about entities!! and "BRANDING"
Wake-up! Persia just killed the branding of the show and VH-1.
All of a sudden the show appears wack to me, and prob most "black" people!! Vh-1 wake -up "WE" see what your trying to do!!
And for ALL of you who don't get it "LOOK AT THE DESIGN OF THE HOUSE AND THE SH@! THATS IN IT!!"

that ain't "US". and for ALL the white rappers! Get your game right, don't live in a LAME light!

Dasit- don't blame you! he didn't write nothin cause he knew that this show would ruin him!! It's fake!
And Persia your "friends" who you say that mess around, they not real! matter fact go into their black house hold and say that mess around they family,...Didn't think so! She ruined herself! she can NEVER make it now!! Who in the HEll is gonna sign her? NOBODY!! or buy your mix-cd off the street,. SHE IS NOW FOREVER A LOCAL!!!!!

Question concerns ANYONE can get at me! bobsanders at hotm%$l --- you get it!

[I.Q. aka ill quality]

Whats good people? No disrespect to any of the people on the show but I believe I can stand up there with any one of them!!!!!! If you wanna verify that for your self go to myspace.com/illquality and listen to my songs on the page. I would say (remember me, and warzone) are the best on the page. So if MC search does read this get at me about how to get on the show! I'm no joke! You wont regret it!

[Dj Lalo]

Everybody enjoys these reality shows that Vh1 puts out, but seriously.....they really went over their heads. I watched the first episode and I think this show is pointless. They went with the wrong cast, it looks like a circus in the house, Vh1 could have went with a better host such as Eminem, and bottom line.....shows wack..waste of film. P.S...Hope their not coming out with the "White Rapper 2"...were doomed!!

[wak]

This show is funny as hell but i think they shud have allowed neone to join the contest to win the 100 gz and not just white ppl

the reason vh1 made it only white rappers is cuz they knew clowns like mohawk head, vanilla ice groupie, paul wall jr., the kid from la whos got no swagger and is offended by a word that dont mean shit to him and last but not least king of the burbz john brown this kid got a dildo to his face on national tv and got punked by some fat chick theres no way u gettin a career after that

i think this show is a good comedy but is makin hip hop look fuccin stupid nd that shit gets me mad

[Wak]

o yea nd rock wtf is u talkin about ppl say that shit all the time

[skittlez]

hey i think persia is the shit for puttin a dildo in that bitches face hey look where can i sign up for season two ya'll need some north kakalac folk in there mixin it up shit let me know sumin and that damn shamrock is it and dassit is a dumbass that kinda chance he bitched out like that man wtf ntways ya'll holla at a playa when you see me in the streets!

[thenextkingofnyc]

i am from brooklyn ny i am white an i am willing to battle anybody on the show this season or next whatever whenwhenever you want some raw talent for your show holla at ya boy THE LEGEND KILLER

1347-996-2397 CALL ME ANYTIME

[Cloud9]

www.cloud9tn.com <- My music

Whats up? So when am I getting on the show?

[goolz]

if you wanna hear some raw shit go to
freestyle madness.com thats where some real mc's take the mic and burn anyone down...

raps on a paper,dude i bearley write ,and in my head i only recite.
rippen those fools on the show would be my delight.
give me a pair of sneakers i'll stomp'em all down tonight.. goolz

[goolz]

what the fuk

[goolz]

ijust posted something and it says cloud9 posted it whats the deal on that shit