There's nothing like a visit from Gary Busey to restore order in Celebrity Fitland...
...even if it's for only, you know, five minutes...
When we rejoin our group, Angie's still on the rant she was on last time we saw her...
"I don't need the people in my immediate company to be lookin' at me cross-eyed and sideways because we don't f***in' win a trip to go somewhere. Take your ass up to a regular spa, and get a massage. Everybody out here got money, they could do that on their own." Didn't you miss her?
Also: don't you get the feeling that she's been going on like this in the two weeks between CFC episodes?
Angie is, of course, referring to the prize awarded to those who won the Fit Camp challenge last time, which, obviously wasn't Angie's team, Hot Buttered Soul (which also consists of Tina Yothers, Vinny Pastore and Ted Lange). Instead, the Fat Crushers (Bone Crusher, Carnie Wilson, Erika Eleniak and Nick Turturro) reigned supreme and, in an editing choice that could make Angie's blood pressure higher than it is already, we see the Fat Crushers claim their prize...
Clearly, it's a sunshine day.
The Fat Crushers also gossip about what went down at panel. Erika brilliantly describes Angie's display as...
"Groundhog Day on crack." Way to hit the pipe on the mouthpiece!
Meanwhile, Hot Buttered Soul meets with a Native American medicine man...
...whose goal is to uplift the group. There's a heavy weight (no pun intended, swear!) on Hot Buttered Soul, so for that, he'll need some help from...
It's kind of like Dances With Wolves...on crack.
Still, it's all good vibes, especially when Tina reveals to Gary that he reminds her (specifically, his arms) of her father who recently died. It's a genuinely moving moment...
...it's kind of like Ghost Dad on peyote.
The members of Hot Buttered Soul are all given chokers...
...and even Angie admits to being touched by the experience, saying it taught her to not lose her cool. For now.
Back at panel, Ant says that it's great to see all the CFCers back. The way he emphasizes "all," though reminds us that someone threatened to leave the show. The camera's all...
Bone Crusher is first up for the weigh-in. Bone's target was 8 lbs., and...
...he's made it and then some!
He's now just 3 lbs. away from tying CFC's all-time weight-loss record (set by Phil Margera during CFC 2). Bone's target for next time is to match that record.
While praising Bone on his weight-loss, Dr. Ian says, "A lot of people in your condition, would have given up and resorted to something like surgery and just said, 'I can't do it any more.' I'm just proud of you because you said, 'You know what? I'm gonna go on this show in front of millions of Americans and do it the right way, which is the diet and exercise..." Oh snap! Someone's not gonna like that...
Carnie immediately starts verbally wailing on Dr. Ian, calling his remark "irresponsible." Dr. Ian's point is that surgery like gastric bypass isn't for everyone, though Carnie has more arguing to do...
...before she can reach this point, which is basically one of agreement. Kind of a pointless argument, but whatever, at least she didn't threaten to walk off the show and tell him to go buy his own massage. It just happens to be Carnie's turn to be weighed. Her target was 5 lbs.
Not such a great week for Carnie.
...next week should be better, what with all the energy she just spent flapping her gums! For real, though: Carnie says she hasn't been as strict about her diet as she should be and vows to eat three meals a day with no snacks. Dr. Ian suggests five small meals, instead. Dr. Linda warns that Carnie may be slipping into a pattern of considering dieting the enemy. This is bad. Dieting is your friend. It helps you get drunk like good friends do. Carnie's target loss is 3 lbs.
Tina's next. Her target was 4 lbs.
Tina chalks her success up to following the plan that the panel has set out for her. Imagine that! Tina's target is a seemingly meager 2 lbs.
Now it's Nick's turn to face the panel. Because of last episode's firestorm, the episode ended before he could be weighed in. He did, however, lose 3 lbs., to go down to 163. His target for this time was 4 lbs. Before we check on Nick's progress, though, we see footage of him playing basketball with his actor brother John Turturro.
"Keep it up...Celebrity Fit Club," John says ominously. At least he didn't tell us to get a broom and sweep out front.
Back at panel, Nick weighs in...
Note that there must be a profound difference between "more level" and actually level. Nick's target for next time is 2 lbs.
Erika also wasn't weighed in last time in front of the cameras, but she lost 3 lbs. to go down to 140. Her target for this time was 4 lbs.
Erika is now 5 lbs. away from the goal weight the panel has set for her. However, she says that she would like to lose an additional 5 lbs. -- her personal goal is to get down to 123 lbs.
Harvey is delighted that Erika's eager to raise the bar...
He's so delighted, in fact, that he allows the unthinkable to occur. Saddle up your flying pig and get ready for it...
A real, genuine smile! Not even a shining-through-the-butch half grimace or anything.
Erika's target is 2 lbs.
Vinny's turn. His target was 6 lbs.
Dr. Ian informs Vinny that he's lost 20 of his 35 lbs. weight-loss goal. "I got 10 lbs.," says Vinny, who's quickly corrected by Ian. Oh Vinny, it might weigh you down, but maybe you should consider carrying around a calculator.
Vinny's new target is 3 lbs.
We cut to Ted who's next on the chopping block, but more importantly, still wearing his choker...
It's beautiful, spiritual and important and everything, but mostly, it's very Janet Jackson "If."
Anyway, Ted's goal was 3 lbs.
...and a pound for luck.
Dr. Linda can't resist saying the word "sex" while Ted faces the panel, so she brings up his sex advice column in FHM. Harvey reports, "I didn't realize you were so experienced in this sex thing." Really, Harvey? Have you been sleeping for the past 4 weeks? (And if so, it clearly wasn't in Ted's ever-busy bed.)
Ted's target is 2 lbs.
Finally, our little hurricane Angie is the last to face the panel. Before she's weighed in, though, we see footage of the heart test she underwent to make sure she was OK to participate in Celebrity Fit Club. But before that, we find out that she's been smoking and not taking her blood-pressure and diabetes meds.
Even though she couldn't finish this stress test, her doctor could tell that her heart is good -- she can compete in the competition without any problems. Well, without any heart problems. Attitude problems are a different matter.
Angie steps on the scale, and...
She seemingly takes her weight gain in stride. That's the...spirit?
Dr. Ian confronts Angie for having a defeatist attitude and for not being able to complete the cardiac stress test. This starts a huge round of denial from Angie. You might say she's all no-ing.
Harvey then offers to work out with Angie every day until the next episode. She's resistant at first, but eventually gives in. Maybe. We'll see. Angie's target is 3 lbs.
Before the group weigh-in, Tina and Carnie confront Angie for -- what else?! -- her attitude.
She's not having it. Nor is the scale for her team...
And then, while still on the scale that's hovering above the ground, Angie quits the show.
Just a thought: it'd probably be better to quit when your feet are touching actual earth. They don't have to let you down, you know? Just sayin'!
Can't get enough? Check out the extras right here on VSPOT!
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