The title of this recap is both literal...

...and figurative...

It had to happen sometime, right?

Before we get to this week's action, we have a few features to roll out. These will be regular fixtures of these weekly Flavor of Love recaps, so play along at home!

The first is Player of the Week. This goes to the girl who shows the most back-stabbin', trash-talkin', Flav-lovin', compulsively watchable bitchery, trickery and fakery each week. For this week's episode, we couldn't possibly give this to anyone but...

Bootz!

Bootz showed mega moxie by poking her nose in all kinds of places where it didn't belong. Well, actually, just in two, really. It's not as dirty as it sounds.

This last one is of her checking out a pretty dramatic conversation between Krazy and Tiger (more on that in a sec). It's excellent spy work on Bootz's part. And what is a good spy without a good boss?

Yep, Bootz snitched and told Flav what was what and who was who because he seems to have a hard time figuring this stuff out for himself. No matter -- what's important is that Bootz deceived people!

Bootz also kept up the episode's momentum with two high-octane fights. One with Payshyntz...

...and another with Somethin'. Except, in this instance, it's kind of tough to discern Bootz's point, as she curses so much, causing wall-to-wall bleeping so that the argument sounds more like Morse code:

That is some furious dotting and slashing, though.

And so, for keeping things interesting (to say the least), Bootz is our Player of the Week.

The other weekly award we'll be giving out is for Bootyful Honey of the Week. Again, this one was a no brainer -- no one else this episode was as ass-tastic as...

...Deelishis! Seriously, when your butt elicits this response from Flav...

...you're a shoe-in for Bootyful Honey of the Week.

Just how big is Deelishis' butt?

That's to scale.

And it's not just big, it's also busy.

Deelishis' goods don't go unnoticed, not even by strangers.

"That's just way too much ass for one person. We all could use some of that ass at this table," says this woman. Quick, someone sign her on to judge the inevitible spin-off Flavor of Butt.

Good thing Deelishis has a big pen to go with her butt...

And now for the real action...

The girls are broken up into to groups. The first batch of Bootz, Somethin', Toastee, Tiger, Buckwild and Deelishis has to work at M&M Soul Food, one of Flav's favorite spots.

Buckwild captivates everyone with her waitressing skills...

...though not everyone enjoys her impromptu birthday rap: "Happy birthday to my girl Linda / She up in the soul food hinda / She gettin' down, with the town / I...I wish you a happy birthday, right right now." She's no Flavor Flav or anything.

Meanwhile, Deelishis captivates all who witnessed her butt (see above) and Somethin' screws up something fierce...

...she's the only girl to be fired. Her butt and all of its offerings thankfully do not come into play.

Somethin's in the kitchen with Bootz. Kitchen duty basically means that they are to gut catfish and chicken, which is actually extremely disgusting. You don't even need to see the slicing and dicing to get a feel for how gross it is. Just look at Bootz's face...

First, she's confused over the task...

...then reality sets in...

...then fish guts make her weep. Standard trajectory. But for real: you know something's gross when not even Flav can stomach it...

For her hard work at a dirty job, Bootz wins the challenge. Her prize is (what else?) a date with Flav. The pair take a convertible up to a cliff that looks over the city...

Flav wears his letterman jacket, but unfortunately, Bootz's poodle skirt is at the dry cleaner's. Maybe next time!

The other group of girls -- Buckeey, Like Dat, Payshyntz, Nibblz, Beatuful and Tiger -- are brought in to clean the house of one of Flav's friends...

The friend supposedly had a party the night before, though that's hard to believe unless his guests came from a petting zoo...

Again, the degree of grossness is best gauged by facial expression...

For going head-to-head with a desecrated bathroom...

...(if you look hard, you can see "Somethin' was here" written on the wall in poop), Nibblz wins. Well, that's the official story, at least. Flav might just be influenced by Nibblz's visible nipplz.

The rapper whose house the girls clean, btw, is Warren G:

Had the girls known this ahead of time, surely they would have mounted up a little better, regulators that they are.

Nibblz wins an elegant dinner with Flav. It's so elegant, in fact, that they're forced to sit yards from each other.

You can understand how easy it is for them to communicate while sitting so far apart, dining together on the biggest lobster that ever fed on the bottom of the earth's oceans...

The dinner convo goes something like this:

They could talk or not talk all night.

We should back track for just a second to touch on Krazy obsessiveness. She gets all kinds of bent out of shape when Flav turns his attention to Deelishis.

"I'm using my heart, and they're using their mind. That's why he likes me, because I'm using my heart and my soul." Is she saying that she isn't using her head? Might explain the hairdo! And also the fact that she refers to Flav as "my man" (see above), even though, you know, Bootz, Somethin', Toastee, Buckwild, Deelishis, Buckeey, Like Dat, Payshyntz, Nibblz, Beatuful and Tiger, might not agree with that claim.

At elimination, it comes down to Somethin', Tiger and Payshyntz...

Somethin' gets the first boot. Flav explains that he never got over Somethin's poop incident from the first episode. He wasn't the only one!

How much you wanna bet that even with Somethin' gone, people will still be talking about her poop next week?

Tiger also gets dropped...

She joined the competition for the wrong reasons, Flav says. At least we get to see what we've all been waiting for since Flav gave her that nickname: the cry of the Tiger.

And then, in a stunning turn of events, Payshyntz refuses the clock Flav has for her (she says that she doesn't want to stay in the competition with Bootz around)...

"I don't like drama. Drama is not good for Payshyntz," she says. Yeah, well, then you probably want to avoid trying out for reality shows in the future, Pay. Just a thought.

However, with Payshyntz leaving the competition, she also leaves some unfinished business. Earlier, she started schooling Nibblz in Chinese. And now with Payshyntz gone...

...who's going to continue the lesson? It's really not fair to leave Nibblz hanging like that!

Things heat up when the girls play truth and dare. Also get Goldie's commentary and hot casting call moments. Watch it all on VSPOT!

Comments

[shikema macdonald]

something seems fake.like that seems real and crazy does also

[Catana Yehudah]

I like Bootz. She knows how to play the game. Get rid of as many bit*#es as you can. This show is not about who is cool with who. There is only enough room for 1

[Nicolette]

What does everyone think of Buckwild? And any guesses on who will win in the end?

[mz.sexi]

i think the only real one's on there is bootz, like dat, and nibblez because they have more potential than the other and they dont act to ghetto unlike buckwild she need to get the fu*k off the show .

[prettigurl]

think the only real one's on there is bootz, like dat, and nibblez because they have more potential than the other and they dont act to ghetto unlike buckwild she need to get the fu*k off the show .

[paige]

i think tht fla belongs wif bootz because she is a freak wif a big butt.

[Gretchen]

I like Toastie and Buckwild. Toastie seems like she is in heaven with all the alcohol she's drinking. And Buckwild is just a hoot and seem like a really nice girl. Good luck Flav!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SWhite]

I think that crazy seems to be real, so is likethat, buckwild, bootz, buckeey, deelishes. However in this last episode, all the girls who were open with their fakeness (for lack of a better phrase) were exposed and gone. Now it will get interesting because the rest of the girls left, aren't as easy to detect there true motives, but it will be exposed soon enough.

[mountainpetal]

Who cares about the other girls if I was Flav I would send everyone home and just enjoy delishes butt for the rest of the show.(ITS A RAP)!!!!!!

[goldangel88]

to me flavor flav should pick bootz cause she the preetiesr one and she know how to keep it real and know how to get rid of those other girls and she can back up what she say. and beside just because deelishes got a big butt she got a ugly face unlike bootz i think she look like keyshia cole

[xnowhereboyx]

One of the funniest shows currently on TV needed one of the funniest people on the interwebs to do recaps of it. Whoever writes these recaps is a hilarious genius.

[stephanie]

uhm..first of all..buckwild need to stop acting ghetto..boots need to mind her buisness i she got an attiude and she gonna get it when she say suttin to the wrong chick..like dat cool..crazy is real..buckeey real too.u cant really say who's real cuz all these girls in this show only in it for fame..

[Devans00]

Beautuful is so tiny. Maybe that explains why we've hardly seen her on the show.

[James]

Toastee or Buckeey should win.. They got the body, they are real (or play their cards right) and got brains. (At least when Toastee isn't drunk-) To early to tell, though.

[oh no]

first of all buckey or toastee cause toastee aint got no body or booty what so ever she just a slut and yall need to stop hattin no bootz cause she is the prettiest girl on the show and yall kno if some one fine on the like lil wayne or chingy was on the show yall would do the same damn thing that bootz is doin on the show

[sexytyrant]

I came up with a theory as to who the final five are gonna be left,and they are Krazy,Deeilshes, Buckwild,Buckeey, and bootz.Out of the 5 I mention three of them got Azz.LOL.If i'm right, good move flav.LOL..Keep your favorites a little bit longerLOL...Anyway if i have to choose one it will be Krazy cuz she showing the same love New York have shown in the first season.To bootz this is a competition and she's playin it to win and playin it well.and the rest i think they are in there with their own personal agenda at fame or something,But then again I could be wrong.

[Missay]

I think Bootz is fake, she looks like a bug. If I was Flav, I would either pick Krazy or Beautiful because they are real and they are the only good lookin females. Deelishis is not cute without that make up and that ass probably has more dimples than Flav needs. Buckwild is hilarious because she dont care what anyone has to say about her keepin it real. Like Dat is real, and Buckey is another ugly one without the makeup.... Toastee is a drunk and ugly and nibblez already claimed to be a Lesbian, she says D*** is her side dish....

[SilentK]

well I think the final 3 not even 5 well b Deelishis, Nibblez and Bootz becuz they keeping it real, i think they are the main competition in this game becuz they wont back down 4 no 1, they wouldnt let any one stand in their way from getting their man.. and it will be a hard decision 4 flav 2 choose from.... the other girls Like Dat she keepin it real n tryin her best 2 stay in and i like dat... Buckwild need 2 stop her s**t and act like herself so flav can c who she really is n stop trynna act ghetto... Beautiful needs 2 stop hiding and come out n the light or else she wouldnt stand a chance for the competition... Krazy needs 2 stop acting krazy or else her time will b up, its not gud 2 b jealous its jus dat she need 2 try harder and wait her turn with flav... Toastee needs 2 keep on goin, n stop drinkin alcohol... Buckey keepin it real... But we'll c who will become the final 5 den 3 n win dis competition 4 sure..

[crippy's mom]

goldangel88, i couldn't agree with you more! Rich rocks!

[symphony]

man flav you should of kept yo gurl tiger on there she was cool and you should of kept the first gurl on ther the one thta got in the figjht and had to leave the black gurl but flave man if you would of kept them the show would have been more exciting and infliuence more people to watch but i guess wat they did was wrong so get at me flav......


luv ya gurl symphony

[crystal taylor]

pic the one that best pic u flav

[lomo]

rich, i am so happy to see you recapping this show!! as usual, you're hilarious.

[Scout]

"That's to scale."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

[internet single]

Woah, I didn't even realize Krazy was representin WV. I guess I have a new fave to root for.

[Ashley Mac]

Well i think that my gurl Buckey is gunna win cuz she is so pretty and she seems real real cool!!!

GO BUCKEY!!!!