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June 20, 2007
Celebrity Fit Club: Men Vs. Women Recap - Episode 8 - Fit To Say Bye

It's the last episode of Celebrity Fit Club: Men Vs. Women, and Dustin has a message for everyone.

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Don't you miss him already?

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The Fit Camp of the final episode of any given season of Celebrity Fit Club is the same as the first Fit Camp of the season. This way we can tangibly chart the progress of the contestants. So that's what happens and here are the results:


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It's all pretty routine and dry, as you can see. If only it would stay that way. It doesn't, thanks to Dustin, who rains on everything.

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Don't confuse the rainy day he brings with sweat, though -- on the final event, the stair climb, Dustin decides that he's going to stop early and not push himself because he has a show to do and he doesn't want his legs to be sore. My brain is sore trying to make sense of that. How long could his set be anyway that soreness would hurt his capacity to stand through it. Besides, the audience at Foxwoods isn't at all particular -- he can sit down in the middle of his act, after everyone has fallen asleep.

Dustin's attitude has Maureen pissed.

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Dustin continues to throw what's left of his weight around by threatening not to show up at tomorrow's final weigh-ins. "I could not show tomorrow and everybody's screwed," he says. Not the viewers! He says he would do this out of spite and revenge. Dustin: The Revenge -- this time it's nonsensical. Sorry, I shouldn't compare Dustin to Jaws. A shark avenging the death of the people who killed it three times already by traveling to the Bahamas makes a lot more sense than Dustin Diamond needing to get revenge on people who've been decent enough not to ram things down his throat the minute he starts talking. Harvey gets in on this and say he has "this much" respect for Dustin...

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...or perhaps Harvey is offering a brief synopsis of Screeched. Hard to tell. Anyway, here are the final results of the stair climb:

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And then, it is time for the final weigh-ins. Everyone's dressed up.

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Yay, ties.

Da Brat is the first person to hit the scale.

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She's lost 5 lbs., which brings her percentage of body weight lost up to 15.1 percent. To show her appreciation for CFC and its panel, she and the rest of the Regulators (who are all musicians, which: weird) performed a Fit Club-themed song.

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This is, undoubtedly the first rap song ever to reference Dr. Ian's diet. Revolutionary! Also note that she writes "chicken wings" like "chicken wangs." Couldn't be too hard to give those up when you refer to them like that, you know? Anyway, here's the whole video for your amusement:

Brat also gets a message from Jermaine Dupri, her mentor:

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He basically says "Congratulations" in half a dozen different ways during his 30 second slot. He provides as much insight here as he does when he's doing a call-out intro on a song. "Everybody to the floor...of the gym!" Regardless, he has Brat in tears.

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And here are Brat's final results:

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Next up is Tiffany.

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She lost 7 lbs., and in the process, blew by her final goal of 125. She's now just shy of her Playboy weight, which is just about as opposite of baby weight as you can get, come to think of it. Harvey says that Tiffany is hot. And by "Tiffany," he means "Ross."

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Speak of the devil, Ross is next!

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He has now lost 41 lbs., but not an ounce of gay. Good for him. His original goal was to lose 30 lbs. He's now lost 19.2 percent of his starting body weight. While appearance is affected by weight-loss, Ross main objective, he reveals, wasn't to be hotter. He saw his dad die young from not taking care of himself and he didn't want to follow that same pattern. Way to grab the reigns, Ross.

Then, we see a meeting between Ross and his friend Rosie O'Donnell.

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They scream their hellos and it's utterly impossible to discern whose shrieks belong to whom. Ross tells Rosie that at last weigh-in, it was revealed that he had lost a total 37 lbs. "That's half Nicole Richie!" he says. You know that Nicole Richie threw up in her mouth a little when she found out that Ross implied that she weighed 74 lbs. Don't worry, Nicole. You don't look a pound above 70. Ross is mean.

Ross also explains that he has cracked Harvey. "When he sees me now, he rolls back and gives me his belly," Ross says.

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You sure that's all he's rolling over and giving you, Ross?

Back at panel, Ross notes that Harvey is wearing pink and that he's wearing blue. "Who would have thought on the final episode that I'd be wearing blue and you'd be wearing pink?" I did. Harvey further cements his love for Ross by giving him a Marine Corps coin for being the most outstanding performer.

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Then, they embrace.

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Tension released. This is exactly like when Ross (Geller, not the Intern) finally kissed Rachel.

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Kimberley is up next.

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She receives a special message from her mom.

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She cries as if Jermaine Dupri himself reached out to her. Kimberley says he's moved because she wants her mom to be healthy, too -- her mom is close to being diabetic and she just lost her mother. The tears dry up when Stacy mentions Dustin. How does Kimberley feel about him at this point? She says she feels sorry for him -- he didn't take advantage of the experience and missed out on making friends with seven people. Maybe instead of feeling sorry for him, you should just consider yourself lucky and call it a day, Kimbo.

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Get ready for a crazy face because Maureen is up next.

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She's lost a total of 34 lbs. -- 9 more than her original target. She's also lost the highest percentage of her body weight (22.6 percent). Maureen wins the individual award! For that, she is bizarrely serenaded by a gospel choir.

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It wasn't dieting and hard work that allowed Maureen to lose the weight, it was Jesus.

As if being taken there by a chorus of red-robed religious folk weren't enough, Mo gets some prizes, too:

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And a trip for four to the Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada.

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Mo's accomplishment makes her giddy as a school girl.

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Or maybe giddy as a home-schooled girl. Seriously, doesn't she look like Amy Poehler doing Dakota Fanning in that shot?

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Next is Warren.

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Warren receives a message of congratulations and support from his bad-ass wife.

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She says she felt like he lost the weight for her. But don't worry, that doesn't mean the rest of us can't enjoy Warren's adorably beefy new bod.

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Warren tells the panel, "I love all y'all." Not as much as I love you, Warren.

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Cledus is next.

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He lost another 2 lbs. He says he's a better man because of CFC. But still, he hasn't conquered all of his demons. We see footage of him and Stacy at an airport.

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It feels painful, apparently.

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Stacy finally gets him on the plane and before he can leave, springs something on him.

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The plane is en route to Phoenix, where his daughter is. If he doesn't get off and takes the flight, he can see her. Cledus eventually relents.

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He sees his daughter and she's seriously adorable.

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This...

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...is worth a million panic attacks and years worth of airplane food.

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Last and least as far as respect goes, is Dustin.

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He's lost 13 lbs., and none of it in bile! Ian is apprehensive about congratulating him, knowing Dustin's history of cheating and refusing to do things healthily. Dustin gets mad about this and says that he went on this show to prove a point and so he did: he lost weight his way. Whoop dee doo. After tomorrow, we'll all have forgotten his point and remember how excruciating he can be. Case and point?

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This woefully unfunny exchange between Dustin's impersonation of Cledus and Da Brat. His Cledus cries about his daughter constantly, while Brat is some thugged out caricature that's just shy of being racist. Seriously: not funny.

Cledus gets mad because he feels that Dustin is making fun of his daughter.

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Really, though, Dustin isn't. I'm not defending him just saying that his attack was wholly on Cledus' expression of feelings about his daughter, and not his actual daughter. This may be a sign of Dustin's utter lack of a capacity to love something (or understand people who do), but he's not a child-basher. Not in front of the cameras, anyway.

Still, Harvey notes Dustin's utter lack of respect. He sends the D-man off with, "Get the f*** off my scale and have a lovely f***in' day." Harvey, for a fleeting moment, is the voice of a nation.

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And then, final weigh-ins.

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The Athletes take it! While it sucks to see Dustin rewarded, everyone can take consolation in Ant's caveat. He tells them that Maureen, Ross and Tiffany lost the highest percentage of weight, so it wouldn't have mattered who their fourth member was -- they would have won even without Dustin. Ha! The only ending more satisfying than this wouldn't have been humane or legal. Take what you can get.


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Comments
Michelle

i think dustin was a waste of filming! he is such a dumbass and i really feel sorry for him........

Jennifer

Everyone except Dustin was an inpiration to watch lose weight. I know that VH1 always wants to find someone to rock the boat, but this one made me fast forward through the episodes.

Minus Dustin, this was an amazing cast that was supportive for each member to lose weight. Losing weight is hard enough, no one needs some jerk acting like an infant to get attention.

I hope Dustin ends up living in a box on the street in downtown Milwaukee, Wisconsin. That is what he deserves.

Anne

Dustin is such a total douchebag. I think he's trying to emulate the dry, nerdy comedian guy but he's just not funny. He's so unfunny that THAT can't even be funny. He was only funny on Saved by the Bell when he got shoved in lockers. Harvey so shoulda done that. Ross is my hero, though. Seriously adorable!

heavenly

Dustin is truely a waste of sperm. He is less than decomposed dog waste that is washed into the sewer by another dog's piss. His reality is faulty and he has no idea what the heck he's talking about. I know his mom is ashamed and probably wish she had kept her legs closed the night she conceived him

Brigette

Wow, I cannot believe how beautiful Da Brat is... or how inspirational this cast was....and Dustin as well. He inspired me to not be a loser and to kick his ass if I am ever in Wisconsin and that's great b/c I am about Maureen McComick's size and I still think I can take him...and I don't live far.

Cletus...I have had Panic attacks most of my life and have difficulty flying...I take valium and you're not alone...

Great people, awesome cast, great job everybody...and Dustin....I am sorry nobody ever loved you growing up :(

Gala

Dustin, I guess you accomplished your goal to have the world hate you - why this was your goal,I do not know, but it worked. I hope that you really get the help that you need. I heard that you lost your child in 2005, that's sad but no excuse for your behavior and I think you know it. Someone needs to pray for you, I dont think it will be me though - I dont have the time or the want to put in the effort. You arent worth it. I feel sorry for your wife and family. Your behavior is/was an embarassment. Burn in hell for your bahavior. As for the rest of the team, you guys rock. Keep up the great work! You may not have been the "biggest" cast, but you still made some major improvements. It is usually the smaller people that have the harder time making a big change anyway, so great job!!

Dee

Dustin who??? Exactly. Which is why he's such a bitter, mean-spirited LOSER who feels the need to put down all the others. He has done nothing since his Saved by the Bell days because he has ZERO talent. Way to show the entire television watching world what an immature, insecure jackass you are.

Congratulations to all the other fit-clubbers, they are truly a classy bunch!

Amy

Dustin is a douche bag!!!! I hope he has a leaky, burning diarrhea everyday for the rest of his life!!! I hope it burns his asshole so bad that even preperation H pads won't help.
As for everyone else.... great job. you have succeeded gracefully despite your tense circumstances.

stacey

Dustin is just a has been child actor (not child star)who is trying to change his image cuz what he was doing is NOT working. The "BAD ASS DUSTIN" LOL what a joke, no one is buying it, you are not that good of an actor to pull it off.

christine

great show ,much praise!!!! DUSTIN, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY,HARVEY SAID IT ALL "YOU ARE WASTE OF HUMAN SPERM!!!!! GROW UP YOUR NOT A CHILD ANYMORE. To everyone else good job and very proud of you.

Liz

All I know is that Screech is still a geek. He came on intentionally to make waves, and turned out the ass for the entire show. Sad to say, but he is still in "Zach" shadow in his head, and he needs to grow the "F" up....move on dude...no one would know you if you were not on "Saved By the Bell"...Last thoughts...who wants to see a fat porn star if it isn't Ron Jeremy?

Liz

OK, I just ranted on Screech, I forgot to mention the rest...they need their props...Mo did awesome...love Ross, Cletus rocks, Kim is wonderful, hello centerfold Tiffany, Warran G is HOT, and I think we saw a side of Brat no one expected to see...she looked hot! Congrats to those that put the effort in and F Screech!

Heather

Just want to say that Cledus has been an inspiration,he did an awesome job & I love his sensitivity(although someone that I will NOT mention put him down for it).He is such a sweetheart!!

Dustin is the worst person ever. It is sad that some people treat other individuals so badly.

Chris

I couldn't even watch the end of the show because of Dustin. I felt sorry for him when he was having problems keeping his house, but now I will never watch anything he is in again. Also if VH1 puts another a-hole in one of the celebrity shows again, and doesn't kick them out, I won't watch anymore of the celebrity shows. Period.

Shauna

Dustin is the epitome of passive-aggressive. He obviously has major psych issues. To be so disrespectful of the staff and cast was embarassing, hard to watch.

What I disliked the most was him putting other cast members down as "has beens". Who is he? Anybody even remember him from his tv days 20 years ago? Not likely. Now anyone who thinks of him, will just think of a jackass.

Jonathan Manson

DD is a sickening person and after the first episode succeeded in making everyone on the show hate him including his own team members. Good work!! That is the DD that all of us know that have followed his career after SBTB was cancelled. Even Maureen McCormick, one of the nicest people around stopped talking to "the D man" as it likes to call itself. He made the comment on the finale which would make anyone bring up immediately, that when Maureen was talking to it and encouraging it to walk up more exercise stairs, it was like she was trying to "talk him into bed." You wish. You are lucky you even get to talk to someone as beautiful as Maureen.

Challenging Harvey to combat not only showed him off as a fool and idiot and he did what he is best at - making annoying comments and then hiding behind his lawyer. Sorry to inform you of this Screech but no one would go to "federal pen" for hurting you, as it would be considered an act for the benefit of humanity. Meanwhile DD could not do most of the athletic activities, and why? Because DD amd Screech both suck.

Sorry "D man" but third on American Idol is not a loser, and Kimberley Locke had a record deal and has done just as well as other third place finishers. Her record sales have outsold any comedy album you make which should sell a total of 3-you, your girlfriend and someone else will by it so that they can destroy something you made. If you hadn't noticed, you fool, Kimberley Locke is very beautiful and at least 5 times more beautiful than your fat loser manager/girlfriend.

DD makes fun of Cledus and Brat at every opportunity. He should parody himself instead on his comedy routines.

Do you D man think that all you will need is your porno promoting friends and can tell everyone else off?

It is impossible to understand why DD would not have tried to portray himself differently and may have even been hired to a role if he had been seen differently. Then when we consider his psyche we all again know why - Screech sucks.

Kathleen

I loved watching this season's Fit Club...
The seven members were a great inspiration
Dustin is a grown up man he should not speak like that to anyone..I was embarresed by him and his language on TV...now the whole world knows he's an idiot....
I hated SAVED BY THE BELL AND ESPECIALLY DUSTIN HE ACTED LIKE AN IDIOT THEN AND STILL DOES...
congrats to all the casts
P.S I BELIEVE DUSTIN DIAMOND SHOULD NOT GET ANY OF THE WINNING TEAMS PRIZES SINCE HE WAS NOT THERE MOST OF THE TIME..

Sheri

Dustin Diamond doesn't deserve a single dime of the grand prize winnings...his share should be divided between the members of the opposing team. He did nothing but make a mockery of the entire season and say rude and hurtful things to the experts and his teammates. Dustin you are a class A dick....and don't deserve a second of TV time that was allowed to you. You reek of misery and don't deserve a single good thing to come your way until you learn alot of humility. So go ahead...sell your porn...and t-shirts to pay your bills...because believe me no one in their right mind would pay a red cent to see you appear anywhere. You are a hateful person who has no talent and you deserve every miserable thing that happens in your life. The rest of you fit clubbers ROCK! I am proud of the rest of you for putting up with idiot boys stupidity.

weebeeperkins

I think that Celebrity FitnessClub made a big mistake in letting Dustin win what was not deserved. I think it was hilarious though that Dustin talked a lot of s*** but when it came down to confrontation he hid behind his "lawyer" (do have beens even have lawyers) like a little biznitch that he is. AS far as his fat ass girlfriend, she isn't pretty at all by the way, she should leave his broke dumbass and get a real man, not one who begs to save his house. What was that again Dustin, you've earned how much because of your sleazy, sorry excuse for a porn tape and still had to beg for money. Be a real man and take care of your family like a man is supposed to. LOSER!! FATASS!!
For the others, Brat, my husband and I have been listening to you since we were 11 years ols, we hope you make a good comeback. WE think you were the greatest female rapper out there. WE love you. Warren, you should be proud of yourself and I wont say you're fine because that is disrespectful and wouldn't want to offend your beautiful wife. Congrats on your family, you have a beautiful one. Cledus, you ROCK!!!! Ross, I see you on the Jay Leno show and I think you're awesome. Everybody else, you go!

weebeeperkins

oh by the way, everybody should boycot Dustin Diamonds shows if he ever has one again. I can't believe he calls himself a comedian. Do us a favor and take a lot of diet pills and cheeze in a can and never appear in television. Go beg for some more money. I wish you lived where I'm from. Believe you me, you wouldn't be able to "call" your "lawyer".

Chris

As much as you people hated Dustin, he was the only reason to watch this season. Look at his blog on myspace to see the truth behind the show.

http://www.myspace.com/trustthedust

Cletus was an over active crybaby and talked crap about Dustin all season. Da Brat has done jack squat since the 90's. All are have beens except for Ross. Dustin make it interestng. Look at the comments on here! Everyone has to comment on Dustin. This season was a waste without him. BTW, Harvey beening a Marine should have had military barring, which he did not. He let Dustin get to a Drill Sergeant. He must have really sucked as a drill sergeant.

I hope we see more of Dustin, they should put him on the Surreal Life! I tuned in just to CFC to see what he would do.

peajez

Dude, Dustin was an asshole! He sucked and everybody knows he sucks! But everyone else was awesome, especially that Ross and Kim. If I was kim, i would sue Dustin for harrasement. But anyway, good season, it would have been better without dustin though

Kia

Cledus should've kicked Dustin's ass and wrote his broke ass a check! Nevermind the lawsuit! hahaha! Hes a waste. He's probably at a swap meet selling his prizes. Anyway...

I think this season's participants did the best yet. They were great. Good Job Guys!!!

Pete

I all want to say is I'd kick Dustin's ass in a UFC fight like he challenged Harvey and let him keep all the money from it, Id do it for free. Someone needs to beat the stupidity out of his ass. VH1 set it up PLEASE!! Overall the show was great except for dumbass Screech!

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