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January 10, 2007
I Love New York Recap - Episode 1 - Love Is on the Air

Do you have love for New York?

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More importantly, do you have love for her show?

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Seriously, who wouldn't want to get with a woman so in command of her body?

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Welcome to New York's further adventures in ranting and finding love via television (really: same thing). Since the first episode of I Love New York focused on New York's breaking the ice with her 20 potential suitors Video_icon, we'll do the same here -- this post will touch on the bachelors (not like that!) and what we know about them so far.

But first, let's meet our H.B.I.C.'s:

In case you forgot between now and the jump, here is New York:

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And here is New York's mother, Sister Patterson, who will be on hand to guide New York in her decision-making process and/or to scare people.

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And here are the bachelors with some key points regarding their personalities:

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  • New York describes him as "suave," so, duh, "Rico" is the perfect name for him. Now all he needs is a bandanna and about five pounds of hair gel and he'll be set. Ladies, he'll eat you raw like sushi.
  • Rico ends up offending New York when he calls her "negrita," (literally: "black girl" in Spanish). He says it's a compliment; she thinks he's gone Kramer on her ass. With the help of New York's effervescent and otherwise Latino sidekick, Chamo, the language barrier is set straight. But really, isn't pointing out her race unnecessarily, uh, racial, no matter what the language?

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  • Pootie is so named because he's after "pootie tang." Apparently, calling him "Vagina" just would have been too weird.

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  • Tango's nickname comes from his mother. And that's what he wants New York, his potential lover, to call him. Oedipal!

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  • Get your mind out of the gutter: Wood is short for Richwood, this dude's last name. Now you may return your mind to the gutter.
  • Wood ends up confessing to New York that he's appeared on various shows, including Mr. Romance and Elimidate, which he refers to as a talk show. Yeah, and Flavor of Love is a nature series. Perhaps because she shares a history in dating shows, New York doesn't seem to mind much...

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...for now!

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  • Whiteboy is so named because of his history in advocating for tenant farmer land rights. Just kidding. It's his name because he's a white boy! Duh!

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  • No, that isn't Nick Lachey returning to the world of televised relationships, it's 12 Pack, who's named after his abs.

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  • 12 Pack tweezes his own eyebrows.
  • He also reveals that "everywhere he goes," he's called gay.
  • Including here. Sister Patterson on 12 Pack: "He's...he's gay!" And really: tweezes luck a duck, does crunches like a duck... Just sayin'!

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  • Heat says people are intimidated by him. None yet, as far as we can tell!

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  • Oh, T-Bone. Poor guy -- New York decides on this name for him because, "He's huge, he's big, he's greasy."
  • T-Bone says that women often compliment his eyes.

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Her third eye, for another.

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  • Jersey comes from New Jersey. No word on what he smells like.

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  • Mr. Boston at first requests the nickname of "Stud." New York and Sister P are all, "Poindextersaysstud?" Sister P ends up giving him the name of Mr. Boston, as a salute to his hometown. It still sounds like a weight-lifting title or something.
  • Mr. Boston looks like Al Gore's little brother, according to Chance.

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  • New York is really attracted to Onix. It's kind of nice that the Flavor of Love style of spelling things somewhere between phonetically and correctly was resurrected for I Love New York, isn't it?

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  • Sister Patterson is a huge advocate for T-Weed (whose name, btw, is never explained and could mean anything from sushi enthusiasm to the belief that every time of day should be 4:20). "He has a brain, he makes money, he looks good in clothes," says Sister P of T-Weed. But the real question is: does he look good out of clothes?

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  • He's a tennis player, so he knows all about love. Just not that kind.

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  • Trendz is...a guy...on the...show...

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  • Bonez is really religious which gets Sister P all hot and bothered. You know, in a church-going kind of way.

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  • Real seems kind of great, and down-to-earth. Oddly, his brother is also in the competition:

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  • The first thing you need to know about Chance is that he's amazing.
  • The second thing you need to know is that he's not about that "jibber jabber and yip yap." Right. It's articulation or it's nothing when it comes to Chance.
  • Chance needs Ritalin according to Mr. Boston. Chance does not agree with Boston's prescription.
  • He's the clear frontrunner, which drives Sister Patterson crazy, as she is not feeling Chance's thug appeal. The two argue throughout most of the show. It goes something like this. Awesomely, Chance refers to Sister P as "Mr. Patterson...Sister Patterson...Peppermint Patterson." Peppermint Patterson! That's the best sarcastic name for a person ever! For Chance's hard work coming up with that, we salute him with a pictorial version of his vision:

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  • Chance also gets into it with Mr. Boston, over New York's attention. It goes something like:

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  • Ladies, lock up your daughters: Chance is a ringer for R. Kelly, no?

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  • Token requests his nickname because New York needs a token to take with her everywhere. Uh, what? You sure it wasn't because "Whiteboy" was already taken?
  • Token wins over the affection of Sister P by telling her whom he thinks is real and not real in the house. A mole! And really, probably the best-looking mole anyone could ever hope for. No snout there.

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  • Ah, Romance. His first request for a nickname was "Cupid." If you don't know who Cupid is, Romance will explain it for you: he's the "Romanian god for love." This show is way educational. Thanks, Romance!
  • Romance recently lost his beloved teacup Yorkie, and hopes that New York can fill the void she left.

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  • As if that isn't enough, he thinks that the tattoo on New York's breast ("Princess") bonds him to her because his dog was named Princess. Dude, do you know that you're this close to calling New York a "bitch?"

In the end (after Sister Patterson has told us not to go toe-to-toe with her, as if we'd dare), only 15 men get to stay. The guys getting the boot are:

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That's Jersey, Wood, T-Bone, T-Money and Ace, for those keeping score at home. On why these were the five to get the boot, New York says, "One was here for acting [Wood], one was a f***ing pansy [T-Money], and one couldn't control his eye sockets [T-Bone]. The other two [Jersey and Ace], they just weren't good enough for me and they had to get the f*** up out of my place." Jeez. Do you think she'll be this easy on the next guys she kicks out?

Check out hilarious extras from this week's episode, plus Goldie's Aftershow right here on VSPOT! Video_icon


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Comments
Keisha

I wanna know how t-bone made it past the audition tapes anyway - panoramic shots?

1st? i kinda like that feeling...but i wont be saying that ever again.

La Krazy

T-bone was a joke from Vh1 to the rest of the world.
I hope new york gets a man as crazy as her. As long as she doesn't end up with some of those fine guys. Let the rest of the world have the good ones.Anyway...
It's easy to say that New York isn't going to find true love...Come on now she got rejected by Flav not once but 2 times. Everyone knows what she's only good for...another thing it was hilarious how her dumb ass fell off the stage the 1st season. New York you are a psycho bitch and you get it all from your 51 50 bi-polar ass momma. I feel sorry for your daddy because he has to put up with 2 bitches... Sorry Alex

James Lucas

new york's mom needs to get back on her god damn medication. with her freekin 5-head shes got no room to make judgement on anybody
and how in the hell did new york get a show of her own, shes not famous. putting her on celebreality is a slap in the face to all the others (think surreal life) who actually had careers, go home you 2 time flav reject

meg hart

i just love New York shes funny and gives me and my family something to laugh at on sundays. I believe Token would be a great match. chance maybe a partener in crime. sister patterson loves hewr so much but theres a thin line between love and control. i started out whaching flavor of love and now i would just die to meet new york (Tiffany)in real life shes awesome, and after the show needs to get a job on soaps.

6strz

Love u Rich... love u NY!!!
I thought the show was hilarious. If you can stomach Flav, NY is easy.
I love the fact that VH1 is mimicking Flava of Love with this show. It lacks creativity but its way entertaining and cute.
Did u check out how NY was crying when she was talking about how bad she wants to find love?? This girl should win an Emmy!
T-Weed got his name from Tumbleweed and his explanation for the name wasn't coherent... so who the hell knows why he chose Tumbleweed. I was expecting him to say, "because my hair resembles a ball of tumbleweed and my lips are as dry as the desert."
BTW, Wood.... a stripper. Check out this NSFW.

shawanda walker

I want to know also, how did T-Bone make it to the show?

Chris Brewer

If Ms. Patterson continues on the I Love NY episodes, I can't watch it, she's way to hard...

Tyesha Rubin

NY you are a trip I like the show so far you have a though crowd of men but for your info I know you love your mom but those chioces are yours and they should be up to you. Its good that she's helping you but you know what you like in a man so keep your head up and eyes open for the fake a** brothers.

Babygyrl

I really do not care for NY, but I commend her on getting her own show after being rejected 2 x's by Flav. anyway like moajority of the people...I was wondering how in the hell did T-Bone and T-Money get pass the audition tapes. That shyt is just crazy.

Tasha

New York I am really feeling your show. You are a trip. Aint nothing wrong looking for love. I think Chance is a perfect match for you 'cause y'all crazy as hell. But most important stay true to yourself. I know you love, respect and honor your mother but this choice is yours. You have to live with your decision. The most you can do is take her opinion into consideration. But when it comes down to the matter it's all up to you Ma. Keep your head up and much love to you.

meanmllemustard

When did New York get her humongo fake boobs? I don't think I remember them in attendance at the FoL 2 reunion....

Second, is "Sister" a title or a first name? So confused.

Shug Avery

NY is so funny!!! I loved her on Flav o Love, and I'll watch whatever she's on. I hope this isn't the her last tv gig.

toy

Well i am in love with 12pk,Token and Real (except for real's hair) i wish he would cut it and his brother is a immature moron but he's somthing to look at other than that i hate when he opens his mouth!! but i hope that CRAZY BITCH finds true love!!1

Toy

And they need to get rid of the UGLY BITCH YES I SAID IT New yorks mom how could any one so ugly be so bold lol i just don't get it. They should make a law against ugly people who act like that lol

Tia

New I like yo show but I Dont like you are your ugly monkey ass looking mama bitch you ugly too and if any man who want to be with you only want some ass bitch I from East Saint Louis come down here and find a man see if they dogg you girl all men are the same just like Flav they want some and bitch that aint yo crib so stop frontin ........ E.St. Chick

Tia

new york you need to keep Chance to the end because he is a drumma king just like you a drumma queen ............ E.St.Chick

BadOtter

FYI, T-Weed is so named because Sister Paterson thought that his hair looked like a Tumbleweed, and T-Weed is a shortened version.

Rasheedah Baker

I think that the show really focuses on the "desperate, and lonely" sista looking for love. I hope that New York can find the real love that she is looking for. I also hope that she doesnt make the same mistake that she did in Flavor of Love. Dont sleep with em! Make 'em wait!!!!!!Take care, KyaraAmari.

p.s. New York, who styles your hair? Hint: Try Deep Wave human hair extensions, it will help you step it up a lil' bit! Trust me you will look darling honey!!!!

Andrea Inabinet

Ms. New York,
I think your show is a hit. And haveing your Mother on there is even Greater. A Mother knows best. LOL The Guy's that you have to choose from, well let's just say Mr. 12 pack got issues with his sexuality. Mr. Chance he's got issues also. All that drinking and trying to be a Thug isn't cool or cute. So Mom of Ms. New York. If Mr. Chance really wanted to win your daughter's heart. He would be a real Man step up to the plate. Leave the Thug cramp alone. So don't worry he can't handle that.
Dre'a in Anchorage, Alaska

Rasheedah Baker

I think that this show is a classic display of desperation and low self-esteem, to have 20 men live in a so called mansion, that New York doesnt even pay for! New York, girl step your game up! Listen to your mama, all most thugs is good for (sex). And after a while, that shit gets old! Get a man with quality, style, brains, not just pipe~ KYARAAMARI07

Buddah

As much as I want to not like this show, I like this show!
Rico trying to "splain" to NY about his pet name for her was a riot ... Is he Ricky to her Lucy?

Shante

It's just TV people. I don't think New York is truly looking for love, she likes the attention. i don't think this show will make it with her mother, no way!

PINKY

HI THIS IS PINKY FIRST THING THAT I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT IS GOOD THAT U HAVE MOVED ON FROM FLAVA FLAV CUZ U WAS TO WOMAN FOR HIM. HE IS ONLY GO DOG OUT THAT LAST GURL THAT HE PICKED U OVER (DONT WANT TO EVEN SAY HER NAME) BUT U NO THAT WAS ONLY FOR THE FAME JUST LIKE HOOPZ.BUT U NO THAT U R A WOMAN AND U NEED TO TAKE YOUR MOTHER AND SEND HER HOME TO YOUR FATHER AND TELL HER TIME IS UP. BUT I WILL LIKE U TO KEEP CHANCE AROUND CUZ HE IS CUTE SEZY AND DONT LISTEN TO YOUR MOM CUZ SHE WILL HAVE YOU WITH A CRAZY WHITE MAN THAT HAS THIS DIFFERENT FACE WHEN SHE IS AROUND. IF U LIKE CHANCE THEN KEEP HIM AROUND BUTT THAT IS WAT U WANT AND DONT MAKE THE WRONG ONE PLEAZE!

Pamela

Hello?!?!? DOES ANYONE HERE WATCH THE "NEXT" ON MTV? T-MONEY RECENTLY APPEARED REINACTING HIS LIFE-LONG CAREER OF WANTING TO BE A GAMESHOW HOST. IF YOU THINK HE'S CRACKED OUT ON NEW YORK'S SHOW - CHECK OUT THIS NEXT EPISODE - HES A FREAKY ROBOT!

Jay

Three reasons to watch this show.

1) SISTER
2) PATTERSON'S
3) FOREHEAD

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