Let this be a lesson for all potential rappers...

Friends don't let friends sip and spit (unless said friends are Three 6 Mafia).

We start where last week's show let off -- mourning Misfit's elimination. Well, some mourn, others celebrate:

Sullee says that now that Misfit's gone, he's officially the sexy motherf***er of the White House. Oh yeah, he's exactly what Prince pictured when he uttered those unforgettable words: "In a word or 2, it's U I wanna do..."

Not that Sullee's wrong or anything.

We also find out that G-Child carries a picture of herself with Vanilla Ice around with her.

Call it what you want, but you can't deny the devotion. For real: G-Child says that her next tattoos will be inspired by Ice's career-defining lack of success: one wrist will read "Fail to succeed," while the other will say, "Succeed to fail." It will be far too perfect, if during the tattooing, the power goes out.

We find out this week will be devoted to mic techniques. To help out, there are legends in the house:

Nice. Sadat X is chatty and full of hints for the budding rappers. Lord Jamar is not.

Perhaps it is because, to paraphrase his own words, devils make him sick and he'd like to fill them with holes. Jamar implies that Sadat is being too generous with his advice. Jamar doesn't "cash his jewels out like that." Oh, so he didn't come to lend guidance -- he just wanted to scowl in front of a camera. Gotcha.

He then, kind of awesomely, calls out John Brown's "ghetto revival" thing, which, it should be noted, we've yet to hear an explanation for. Their priceless exchange is like an urban version of Abbott & Costello -- call it "Who's On First and 125th?":

John Brown: It's a company. We got experienced members of the street.
Lord Jamar: What's it about? I don't care who ya got. What's it about?
JB: It's about the revival.
LJ: The revival of what?
JB: The ghetto.
LJ: Why would you want to revive the ghetto? The ghetto is poverty and pain, especially for black people.
JB: I wanna revive economically, spiritually...nahmsayin? Infrastructure-wise. It's nothin' but love, my brother.

After some more probing from Jamar, John Brown is left virtually speechless -- the only thing he can do is repeat "Hallelujah hollaback" a few times. John Brown is the human equivalent of damaged vinyl right about now.

After their time with Brand Nubian, the rappers are divided up into teams of two.

They're told to get ready to spend some time in the studio with legendary producer Prince Paul. You may recognize Prince Paul from every White Rapper elimination segment so far.

However, when they arrive to the studio, the rappers find that it's not exactly what they had in mind -- it's a TV studio. They'll be playing a game-show style game called Affirmative Reaction, which $hamrock describes as "a hood version of Family Feud."

$hamrock is dead-on -- the rappers have to answer questions about black culture. To win points, their answers have to match those of the black audience that heckles and looks collectively disgusted as the rappers play.

This is, of course, when Sullee answers "larger penises" to the question above and the audience gives him a standing ovation, a sequence you've no doubt seen thousands of times in promo spots if you've watched VH1 at all in the past two months. Also: this is the second week in a row that Sullee has mentioned penis size. Let's see if he can make it three!

Some of the questions are set up to get the white rappers to say the wrong things. There's no right answer to this one:

$hamrock says "nutritious." He's either really, really smart for dodging the question so suavely, or he has his head up some citr-ass.

In the end, Team 1 wins.

Persia is so thrilled on the way home that she says two words you probably thought you'd never hear her say without a dildo in her hand: "Hallelujah hollaback." Nothing's getting Persia down today!

And there's more to lift Lady P's spirits: back at home, Serch tells the winners that their prize will be dinner with "'ey...Juelez Santana." This reduces Persia to wordlessness that, again, seems unlikely coming from someone who isn't holding dildo in her hand. The losers, btw, will have to do the winners' laundry.

Sullee hates this and complains that the challenge had nothing to do with rapping -- it was all about their knowledge of stereotypes, which he doesn't use, anyway. Oh, tell it to your mirror, Good Look Ambassador.

Before the winners leave to meet Juelez, John Brown scrambles to make business cards.

They are as well thought-out and brilliantly executed as his Ghetto Revival company itself, no doubt.

And so, while the winners prepare for a dinner of soul food and Santana at Amy Ruth's, the losers hit the laundromat.

$hamrock has to explain to everyone what to do. Game-show awareness and laundry savvy? If the rapper thing doesn't end up working out for $hamrock, he'll make a helluva housewife someday. Just kidding, because really, here's the alternative to his know-how:

How is that possible? Who are these people?

Meanwhile, Juelez shows up to Amy Ruth's.

Juelez looks...amped in a Pookie-from-New Jack City kind of way. He's all, "Scotty, help me -- I'm gonna eat!"

And eat he does. He also listens to the rappers.

In all, Juelez seems like a good guy who isn't afraid to cash his jewels out like that. It'd be kinda weird if he were, what with his name and all.

Back at the house, the winners play down their dinner, which is kind of nice. There's one more place that the rappers must go before their elimination challenge: the barbershop.

There's an image of Tupac in gold lamé on Jae's shirt. It's thug life re-imagined in Vegas. The rappers, of course, spit for the patrons and hangers-on of the barber shop. Sullee impresses no one. Persia impresses everyone with this. Jus Rhyme does this bleeding-heart riff on white privilege, which people seem to like, although, Sullee is right in pointing out that they could just as easily have hated it. As Jus raps, here's John Brown's reaction:

Do you ever get the feeling that John Brown is in the joke? That his sense of humor is both existent and dark, if you will? Just a thought.

Team 1 has immunity for the final challenge. The members of Team 2 are given slices of bread with topics on which they'll base their rhymes. Here's who gets what:

(That says "White Guilt.")

"G-Child has the perfect topic," says Jon Boy. "Yes, she does," counters Persia. Oooh! It just got cold in here and we're not even in the Ice Room! That is some Flavor of Love-style of bitchy.

In the end, G-Child's final rhyme isn't as perfect as her topic ($hamrock's is great, 100 Proof's is cool and Sullee's lands him in the Bottom 2). G-Child is sent home for lacking in confidence and the inability to get through 16 bars. Sad.

There's only one lesson for this week besides the sizzurp one at the top of this post. And that lesson is:

Seriously...where's the revival? It's just ghetto.

Comments

[Big Cris]

I'm gonna start by saying, Persia is hot to death. She pretty cute too. I would pick her over Misfit any day.( Just for the record I'm a girl.) But her flow is sick. I think the two that should make it to the end are her and Shamrock, I think his flow is alright too. But ain't nobody seeing my girl Persia. I can't believe G-Child was ever even on the show. I don't want to hurt homegirl's feelings but when I first seen and heard her I thought it was a joke, like the show was really trying to incorperate some comedy. It pained me to hear her "rap". I'm glad she's gonna, now the game is serious.

[robin]

It's Amy Ruth's, not Amy Ray's . . . I love that place.

[Rhoda Penmark]

Love the recaps, Rich!

But I think it was Jus Rhyme, not Jon Boy, who wowed the crowd in the barbershop.

[eskifroze_comedy]

WHAT THE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! G-CHILD IS WAY BETTER THAN SULLIE YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN! HOPE YOU ALL THE BEST G! ICE DOES RULE! HE'S RULIN ALL ON THE FAME GAME! ANYWAYS G-CHILD GOT HOSED!!!!!!!!

SEARCH YOU POPPED YOUR OWN WEASEL CUTTIN' G-CHILD!

PEACE FROM THE REAL NORTHSIDE FAIRBANKS ALASKA

[eskifroze_comedy]

YOU'VE GOTTA BE ON CRACK YO! G-CHILD WAS AND ALWAYS
BE N AWESOME RAPPER! WAY TOO REPRESENT G! WE WERE PULLIN FOR YOU UP HERE IN THE FROZEN NORTH! WE HAVE OUR OWN THING GOING ESKIFROZE_COMEDY LYRICAL MADDNESS YOUR EXACTLY WHAT WE REPRESENT!!!!!! TRUENESS!!!!!!!!ALLENTOWN AUGHTTA BE PROUDER THAN PROUD RIGHT NOW! YOU DID'NT FAIL THE SHOW FAILED
YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU DO! JUST WISH WE COULD SEE IT!
WE ALL GOT YOUR BACK GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!AND YES 50 DOES SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eskifroze_comedy]

SINCE G IS GONE BETTER BE ON THE LOOKOUT JOHN BROWN'S TAKEN THE LEAD JUS IS ALL GOOD BUT JOHN BROWN'S BOUT REVIVE THE SUBURBIAN GHETTO SO LOOOOOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEACE FROM THE REAL NORTHSIDE FAIRBANKS ALASKA

[Niecy]

"eskifroze comedy"=g-child, maybe? oh yeah and suburban ghetto doesn't make sense. and one more thing, g-child was trash.

[lodijc]

In the barbershop wasn't it Jus Ryhmes that rapped about "the bleeding-heart riff on white priviledge" as mentioned above? That wasn't Jon boy was it?

[eskifroze_comedy]

SHE REPRESENTS WHO SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!11 SHE'S FAR FROM TRASH YOU ASH!!! SHE RULES!!!!!!! WAY TO GO G!!!!!

[eskifroze_comedy]

KING OF THE BURBS YOU TELLEM BRO! THE BURBS ARE GHETTO IN THEIR OWN WAY! TELLEM JOHN BROWN!!!!!!!1
GHETTO REVIVAL MAKE ASSES OUTTA THEM JOHN!!!!!!!
LUCKY WE EVEN WATCH YOUR S$#T ALVAREZ YOU SUCK!

[Rich]

Nice catches, guys -- I fixed the mistakes in the post.

[rkane]

WELL THA SHOW IZ QUITE FUNNY. I LIKE MY GURL PERSIA BUT THAT DUDE JON BROWN IS A JOKE WHAT IN THA HELL IZ GHETTO REVIVAL. HOW COULD HE POSSIBLE ACCOMPLISH THAT? YEAH RIGHT. WHAT HAPPENED TO THA NEXT BLACK RAPPER? OH YEA WE GOT NOUGHT OF THOSE. G-CHILDZ GARBAGE, JON BOY SUCKZ SO DOEZ THA OTHA 2 DUDEZ AND SHAMROCK IZ STR8

[eskifroze_comedy]

the next black rapper will never be a reallity show
its tooooooooo much reallity already we need more

like the BEASTIE BOYS VANILLA ICE EMINEM YOU KNOW WE CAN'T JUMP BUT WE SURE CAN RAP HOLLA! BACK!

[eskifroze_comedy]

I SURE HOPE THE SHOW GETS BETTER BECAUSE IT JUST HIT ROCK BOTTOM!LIL G WAS THE BIZOMB! VENTING HERE MAN I WAS PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T LET US DOWN JOHN BROWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PEACE

[eskifroze_comedy]

G-CHILD WE'LL MISS YOU! THE SHOW WILL NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU! MY KIDS EVEN THINK YOUR THE GOODS!!!!! WAY TO BRING IT! REPRESENTIN ERIE PA VIA FAIRBANKS ALASKA PEACE

[SPARKTACULAR SPARKMASTER]

WANNA SEND A SHOUT OUT TO MY GIRL G-CHILD
wish you were still here! thought you were gonna take it all! you have all the potential you need you just need too be confident! LOVE YA GIRL! KEEP IT UP! sincerely lee jones northside

[Fatrat]

It seems that everyone is overlooking one thing, that thing being talent. Out of everyone cast for this show I have only seen 4 good emcees and one is now gone. Dasit had a dope flow but he quit and quitters never win, Sullee is still alive but another performance like last time and he won't be around, John Brown's word play is crazy and Persia I hope she wins cause that girl is the shhhh"!@%. I am an MC myself and have many reasons to be upset at this show, number one when the hell did they put out a casting call, number two where the hell is the promotion to get the "good" white rappers to come to this show, it's wack. And if the winner wants to put up that money on some battle we can do it.

Fatrat

hit me up at [email protected]

[Pete Tha Drivah]

Listen, I like the show and all but after 3 episodes I'm thinking...White Rapper show?? No one's making a "Black Doctor's show" or "Black Astronaut show"...I've seen many solid white rappers in my time (as old as Search, I) and no, it's not easy to write in 30 minutes and memorize it...By the way, I don't really feel that's an important part of being an artist...I guess I'm askin' / sayin' these are the best that applied for the job?? Shamrock, Pers. can flow and I feel Sullee can flow and has mad potential to be better than those two combined...Jon Brown...How can you revive the ghetto if you from the "burbs" Stay "King of tha Burbs" and drop the ghetto non-sense, then you'd get respect cause you can flow and write it appears...Hell, I grew up in the projects in Boston and I can't revive no ghetto...unless you come from NYC, Detroit, Chi, LA, Philly, New Orleans etc...and lived in despair...WIC, roaches, car fires, beatdowns...you jus' don't know...

Search, if you're readin' this...you gonna have to come stronger w/ talent next season...May have to pull this old man out of retirement!!

ps...best white rapper w/ cred is?? Everlast? Search?? Tell me...

Peace!

[Pete Tha Drivah]

Yo Fatrat.....YU right!! That's what I'm sayin'

"PTD"

[Pete Tha Drivah]

Yo Fatrat.....YU right!! That's what I'm sayin'

"PTD"

[Mz.parlae]

do ya'll kno what rap is yo? she forgot her flow and then when she thought of it, it was betta left forgotten.she had da easiest topic and she choked u know sum like eminem on 8-mile. shamrock da only 1 who got da right swagga. he might not kno dat much about hip hop but his 16 bars are hot. i'm black and i buy all hip hop and rap cd's but i dont even kno dat much about it.persia keep ya head up u doin u.

holla baq, representin da real A-town

[keno]

john brown gets the gas face.

[eskifroze_comedy]

listen up yo! the burbs are ghetto! maybe not as bad as detroit! but there ghetto! look at our nations CAPITAL! GHETTO! PEACE JOHN BROWN

[Young NeRo]

ok first off g child was garbage shouldnt of even been in the top 10 pics dasit had one ok flow... but that was it... persia has a decent flow...john brown had one hot line " we next in the heart of bx...// i thought about malcom... my last name could be X... that was it now he trash.. sulle is aight i feel he got shitted on in the barber shop... i think he had the sickest flow there... jus rhyme had an aight flow.. and john boy is trash... but to tell ya the truth i could murder anyone of em in a battle.. i hope search reads this...

" john brown persia and jus rhyme are trash...
leave em gassed in a flash after im done whoopin ass.
i bring heat every single time i speak...
an leave em lyrically deceased... verbally 6 feet..
im on the attack still slayn the prime...
while there debating witch lines...
to use to face to my rhymes...
these statments of mine are known to make the greatest resign....
see your success is looking pretty dull but i made it just fine....
nice wit the rhym scheme an if u aint noticed proof...
im great everyword spoke from my mouth is quotable...
very spiritual, portrayd the lords image wit my lyricals... release verbal blessings an turn these syllables to miricals...."

[Teena D.]

You people need to stop hatin'. I give everyone who was on the show mad props for making an appearance on the show. If my man Mike was there, you's all would know, who would be the next white rapper. But for now, I beleive that at the end it will be Persia and $hamrock, but $hamrock will take it all the way. He's fine as hell too!