Quick quiz. Is statement on Dustin's shirt true or false?

The answer is...well, the answer is that Dustin is the star of this show like coughing is the star of tuberculosis.

Obviously, the existence of the screenshot above proves that Dustin is back this week...much to most everyone's dismay. Here are everyone's faces when Harvey tells them at the start of the episode that Dustin, in fact, will be joining them:

Tiffany wins.

Dustin comes in and talks to his team. Sorry, that's not quite right. Dustin comes in and fields questions from his team in the most apathetic way possible...

...he wears his headphones in the entire time. Wow, how warm and inviting. How much you wanna bet he's listening to the Cool As Ice soundtrack? It goes with his slick attitude. Rob Van Winkle has nothing on Dustin Diamond. For that matter, neither does Chester Cheetah.

After such a beautiful reintroduction, Harvey gathers the celebs around to explain this week's Fit Camp.

They will be taking part in a dirt-bike race, men versus women. Each gender will go two heats.

They do some practicing...

...and boom! Dustin goes down.

Dustin says that he's sick and cannot breathe without hacking. That isn't phlegm, dude. It's karma.

Cledus and Warren finish in the first and second slots of the first race. Brat and Kimberley win it for the girls. This puts the Regulators in the lead.

Dustin doesn't want to participate in the second race. Does Dustin have to be begged to use the toilet, too? At least that would explain his 24/7 crappy attitude.

He's coerced into it by just about everyone around the track, only to quit halfway through. The dirt's all, "Good riddance. He made me feel icky." In the end the Regulators win. They secretly love Dustin if only for a few minutes of victorious bliss.

Then, it is time for weigh-ins. Never one to beat around the bush in any capacity, Ant digs right in and asks the teams how they feel about having Dustin back. They're positively thrilled, duh! Dustin says he is here with peace in his soul. Is it peace or the peace substitute, I Can't Believe It's Not Bile?

Kimberley is the first celeb to be weighed in.

Do not throw food at Kimberley -- it would likely land in her mouth and probably be counter-productive to her weight loss. Stacy points out that Kimberly seemed to enjoy beating the other team more than anyone else. That's because kicking his ass in Fit Camp is as close as she can get to kicking his ass for real without running into trouble with the law. Kimberley's goal for next time is 3 lbs.

Next up is Ross.

He's now down over 17 percent of his body weight. Because Ross has lost so much, his wardrobe needs sprucing up...

...like, badly. Ross goes through his old clothes. It is basically a comedy routine.

He holds that shirt up and asks, "What was I thinking?" You were probably thinking something along the lines of, "What would Phyllis Diller do?"

Anyway, Ross meets with this guy...

...who basically gives him a room full of clothing.

This makes him verklempt. And fashionably so!

Ross' target for next time is 3 lbs.

Up next is Brat.

She's a little disappointed because she didn't hit her goal of 5 lbs. She says that she worked her butt off. When Ian asks about her diet, Brat admits that she had some drinks at the club. More like dranks. Shawty snappin' up the beverages!

Since Brat isn't so great about working out, Harvey decides that she should hit the gymnasium for a trampoline workout.

Brat loves it.

But you know what the best thing about a trampoline workout is? You can do it all by yourself. Her target for next time is 6 lbs.

And then there is Mo.

Someone get this woman a role in a horror movie, already. Mo has lost two more pounds, which brings her body-weight percentage loss up to 20.7 lbs. Mo has lost a fifth of herself! That's like losing a leg, except, you know, not debilitating. Mo talks about her brother disabled Denny, whom she mentioned earlier in the season. He's the one she had to put in a home. She felt terrible about that. But the home is close and he comes over a lot and she makes him sandwiches.

After the clip of them spending time together shows, we cut back to Mo and she's crying. She says she's so happy to have him in her life. Aw! I will not say anything remotely wise-assed about this, lest my own lungs fill with karma and suffocate me. Mo's target for next time is 2 lbs.

Cledus is up next. He has one more pound to lose before he hits his target. If he does, he promises to jump into the pool that's near the weigh-in room. Promises, threatens, same thing. Cledus hops on the scale and...

Score! He's lost 4 lbs. And he owes it all to an obsessive fixation on chicken and broccoli. His suffering, our reward:

Damn that's predictable.

But this isn't:

If Kimberley were wearing a bikini, it would say, "supporting character of the show." Cledus' goal for next time (set by himself) is 3 lbs.

Warren's next.

He's lost 3 lbs. After questioning, he reports that his weight loss has helped his sex life. "My stamina's there. The blood is pumping." That's because he lifts weights with his penis. Just kidding. All this would be TMI if Warren weren't cute. He is and now more so than ever. He's almost back to his puppy-dog cuteness of the "This DJ" video. Don't act like you don't remember.

Warren is cute and so is his belly:

Warren says he's developing a six pack. Uh, yeah, Warren. Whatever you say! Not that he needs one. Cute.

Warren's goal for next time is 3 lbs.

Next is Tiffany.

She lost 3 lbs. At Fit Camp, she fell off her bike and got back up and kept going. This is representative of her general spirit. That kind of mindset is probably really essential for an '80s teen-pop queen, for real. Keep on keepin' on, Tiff. Her goal for next time is 4 lbs.

Dustin's the final celeb to be weighed in.

The good news? He lost 5 lbs. The bad news? He did it using Zantrex. Dr. Ian reminds us that fat burners like Zantrex are not regulated by the FDA and are potentially dangerous.

They are also potentially dangerous because they piss Warren off.

In between Warren's rants, Dustin tells the panel that he's "totally at peace, totally calm." Someone's been dipping into the Calgon supply! Dr. Ian offers one last shot at doing dieting the way he prescribes. Dustin says he'll think about it. Dude, this show's over in a week. You don't have time to think. Ross wonders if Dustin's weight loss is a sign that he's there for his team. Dustin replies that he's there to lose weight. No matter what you ask him, Dustin always finds a way to answer in the jerkiest way possible. Seriously, even if it isn't true, couldn't he lie?

Harvey asks Dustin if he traveled to Mecca and Dustin says he has, probably because he doesn't know what that means and doesn't want to rock the boat. Best not to lest Harvey balls up his fist and curses through clench teeth again. By any means necessary, you know? Dustin says he's read a lot of books. Is How To Lose Friends and Alienate People one of them? His target for next time is 6 lbs. 

And then: giant scales.

But who cares about weight loss when we've got percents?

The numbers are so close! It's anyone's game going into next week's finale. It's hard, but try not to bite your nails in anticipation -- it's not worth the extra calories.   

Comments

[danielle]

Cheers to the Celebrity fit club members who actually give a crap about losing weight for themselves. These ladies and men deserve a great deal of respect for doing something so difficult in front of all the viewers. You are the true inspiration for viewers that watch this show. I don't watch this show for freaks who want attention.. way to go this by far had to be the best cast as far as everyone coming close if not surpassing their goals. Way to go....
thanks for the inspiration.

[dmking12370]

You didn't cover the best part of this week's episode--the preview for next week.

It looks like we will have the rumble in the jungle between Mr. Diamond and Mr. Judd. The winner will have the bragging rights to VH-1 forever.

[Sweetnesssss]

i think harvey should fight dustin probably that could knock some sense in to him.. he says something and the goes right back on it... dustin isnt the star of the show hes a nuisance.... they should just kick him off the show and dont bother with, the thunk is dustin is trying to use this experince to become famous again..... anyways harvey should put some gloves on and knock the hell out of him, i would pay to see that..... I HATE DUSTIN DIAMOND!!!! join the club.... bye!!

[J. Crow Nuremberg]

Dustin know the game, and he knows that DRAMA makes the show! Notice on most 'reality' TV shows the first one to go are the ones that don't engage in some kinda drama, and the last ones to go are the ones who engage in the most drama, the most bullsh*t or the one who grates everybody's nerves. So in that respect, yes, Dustin is the STAR of the show.. albeight he is as cocky as can friggin be.

Brat is very tame, I'm kinda surprised. And what a side of Marsha Brady I've never seen! - althought I never really watched the Brady Bunch, but the who in the hell doens't know about the Brady Bunch?

Cletus looks like nice in clothes. Don't ever take them off, you're still flabby. White people seem to never mind flabby as long as their skinny. Kimberly Locke on the other hand was very toned, beautiful, and volumptuous before and after the show.

[Faye]

I truly enjoy the dedication most of the celebrities put into losing their weight. However, why do we continue to let Dustin remain on the show, what an idiot. I watch the show for inspiration. Let's remember that there are "regular" people who are in need of losing weight and could use others to inspire them...not watching Dustin give excuses. What an opportunity celebrities get to be on a great show...Dustin, stop crying and go home.

[Fiyadiamondz]

Honestly, I'm sooooooo sick of Dustin. He's seeking TV Time, only to help promote his porn. Furthermore,
Dustin took Fat Burners, and for that I strongly believe he / they should of been eliminated from the contest (GrandPrize), It's only fare. Dustin's disposition clearly indicates he needs thereapy in the worse way.

Fiyadiamondz

[Heather]

I JUST WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD QUIT BASHING DUSTIN!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE HAVING TO GO THROUGH YOUR LIFE BEING CALLED SCREECH AND TRYING TO CONVINCE THE WORLD THAT YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE YOUR CHARACTER???? YOU WOULD BE MEAN TO EVERYONE TOO!!!! HE MEANS WELL AND NO ONE GIVES HIM A CHANCE!!!! AT THE FIRST FREAKING WEIGH-IN, THEY ALL TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP!!!! WHY WOULD YOU EXPECT HIM TO BE NICE???? YOU JUST TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP AND ALL HE WAS DOING WAS STATING HIS OPINION!!!! THAT IS HIS RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN!!!! ALL OF THE GIRLS EXCEPT MO ARE DRAMA QUEENS AND NEED TO COME OFF THEIR WHOLE "MY CRAP DON'T STINK" TRIP!!!! KIMBERLY IS A LOSER TOO IN MY OPINION!!!! I CANNOT STAND HER!!!! KUDOS TO HER FOR LOSING WEIGHT BUT BY LETTING DUSTIN'S COMMENTS GET TO HER SO BAD TO THE POINT WHERE SHE WANTS TO LEAVE THE SHOW, I'M SORRY BUT THAT IS IMMATURE AND SAD!!!! AND THE FIRST DAY, BRAT GOT IN HARVEY'S FACE FOR NO REASON AND SHE SAYS THAT DUSTIN IS REDICULOUS!!!!
BASICALLY THE POINT OF WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS TO JUST LEAVE DUSTIN ALONE!!!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM, THEN JUST IGNORE HIM!!!! BY GIVING HIM THAT ATTENTION, HE'S JUST GOING TO KEEP DOING IT!!!! PERSONALLY, I LIKE DUSTIN. I THINK THAT HE IS FUNNY.
IN CLOSING I WOULD LIKE TO SAY, CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE ON THE SHOW FOR LOSING THEIR WEIGHT. THAT WAS VERY HARD TO DO AND IT TOOK A LOT OF WILL POWER TO STICK TO IT. GOOD JOB!!!!

[randy]

Yeah, Dustin is the star of the show, what,, you thought it was Ant or that other queer?
For the yelling and screaming by Harvey, a skinny dietician and a female therapist were completely successful in holding him back from delivering his "promise" to Dustin. Just like any Marine, all talk. I do entirely feel that Dustin is singled out with hypocrisy, and I am not particularly a Screech fan. If he doesn't want to lose weight, who are the others to critiscize him for that.

[Kristin]

If he dosnt want to lose weight then he should have never signed up for the show on another note he is an adult now he can get over the fact that he was screch growing up there are many people in the world who have had it alot worse than him he is childish and imature for thinking and living the way he does and also he does not know one bit of truth and logic also if he hated being on saved by the bell so much then he could have quit the show and been a nobody just like he is now I agree with Harvey he is a waste of sperm !!!!!!!!!!

[jemma]

lmao,What Dustin Diamond has fans, Who knew...? Oh thats right there are a whopping 2..

[Erica]

Dear Dumbass,
Oops, i mean Dear Dustin,
Die in a fire.

[c-monster]

I think the biggest problem here with this season of Celebrity Fit Club goes out to the producers - why put up with Dustin's BS? really? I mean he basically gets what he came to do - to gain notoreity and get exposure on this show. How horrible that anyone even gave him camera time - waste of space and time. Sorry, but boo to the producers for putting his scenes on the show. I won't even give him credit by saying "hate" or "dislike". He is unfortunately a waste. He needs mental health help. Truly a sad story and one not worth telling. Bye Dustin....
AND a HUGE CONGRATS TO THE REST OF THE TEAMS FOR THEIR HARD WORK, DEDICATION AND SUCCESS! WAY TO GO!!!!!

[robin]

dustin should black listed form now on.

[Ike ott Weirmez]

Dustin is awesome! Points out the bs! Mocks other people's responses/reactions to their own misinterpretations, or at least as they feign it for exciting television! I'd like to see him in more 'reality' shows to uncover these bogus facades some of these shows attempt to present seriously.

[Elvira]

I'm sorry, I don't usually ever post blogs on the celebreality shows but this time, I had to do it...I need to vent!!

I am a big fan of VH1, I watch all of the shows and, honestly, it's starting to replace MTV in my book...but with the recent decision to put Dustin D. on Celebrity Fit Club has truly shocked me and pushed me away from the channel.

What the hell were the producers thinking??? From day one this guy has been a jerk. I know conflict (and sex) sell, but, god, there's only so BS a person can take before they say "screw it." This guy is a DISGRACE to the show, his family and to himself! He's a self-absorbed, egotistical, hateful person. Not only is he ugly on the inside, but also on the outside...and quite frankly, I don't know where the hell he gets off tellin the other cast members off...MAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!! You are not the greatest sight there is...not to mention your career is NON-EXISTENT (unless you consider your porn-star--haha--status)...and shall we forget the shirts you sold to save your house? To think, I grew up watching Saved by the Bell and I was thinkin about buyin a shirt...boy am I glad I didn't! You don't deserve the air you breathe! After the way you treated the cast of the show, I'd be surprised if you had any friends left....but you know what? As hateful and heartless as you are, you deserve it! It's called Karma baby, look it up.
Good luck to the rest of the fit club members--you guys are great. Dustin, grow the f*ck up, idiot!

[Library Goddess]

I am so proud of the seven people who are on this show and have sincerely put forth their best effort to lose the weight. It is a struggle and hard to change bad habits. Ya'll look really great...I mean all 7 of you do!! ; )

[ellen]

I am watching the final episode of this show and was wondering if anyone else has noticed how the psychiatrist adds fuel to the fire all the time by asking kimberley her thoughts about dustin. She comes across as a s**t stirrer if you ask me which defeats her purpose on being on the show. I lost all respect for the whole panel from the "Dustin Bashing episode" a few wks back. I do not deny that Dustin has his flaws, but personally I do not blame him when he is being snubbed by so many. Even if the guy has his flaws, the panel shld remain neutral, esp the psychiatrist.
I applaud Dustin for remaining on the show despite receiving low blows and v. personal attacks whatever his reasons may be.
He was set up in the beginning on the show.

[c-monster]

Celebrity Fit Club final show : in response to the people who feel pity for Dustin - totally understand that he does get attacked but he attacks also. From day 1 he did not want to be a part of anything. I think the panel's job is not to remain neutral - if that was the case what would be the point of having them at all - you could have stuffed animals instead. The point is to instill CHANGE. Although it may look like they are picking on Dustin, all they are doing is calling out his BS. Because he needs help and he is the only one who can choose to get it. And if those who think he is being picked on have gone through therapy before, you should know that it can be uncomfortable and it can feel like an attack - but it is just part of the process to perpetuate change. oh well, let's hope everyone on this show gets something good out of this season.

[Kay]

Dustin is a frigin idoit, someone needs to punch him the face for being so stupid. How can he say such dumb things about everything and everyone. Hes like the annoying kid that sits in the back of the class, talks back to the teacher and fails at everything. He needs to grow up and get over himself!

[Elvira]

Dustin is a freakin idiot...I'm sorry, to each his own and he may be a comedian and all but, like I said before, Dustin is an IDIOT! And after seeing the final episode, I can honestly say he is a HEARTLESS one at that for involving someone's child in the act. That kid has NEVER done anything to him yet he thought it was funny to talk about her in his skit...please! You have no idea what it means to have a child (god, I hope he grows the f*ck up first)...and, you know what, his girlfriend isn't any better for helping him with the skit...I guess it's juts the perfect couple: dumb and dumber...please don't be offended by my words, I'm just being funny...ha-f*ckin-ha you moron!

[Christy in GA]

I just finished watching the final episode and it was great other than the fact that Dustin is a total and complete jerk!!!

[D DOG]

HEY CLEDUS "MAN UP!!!!!!!!!"

[shanae]

I THINK THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST SEASONS. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF SCREECH WAS NOT THERE. HE REALLY GOT ON MY NERVES CAUSE HE THOUGHT THIS SHOW WAS ALL ABOUT HIM AND IT WASN'T. THE FIRST TIME HE WALKED OFF THE SHOW THEY SHOULD HAVE REPLACED HIS BUTT BUT INSTED THEY WERE KISSING HIS BUTT.

[Screech is a loser]

DUSTIN IS A LOSER, WILL ALWAYS BE A LOSER.
His weight loss should not have counted because fit club is not about loosing pounds it is about learning to be FIT. My one year old could beat him in a race! He is pathetic.
Screech was better then Dustin will ever be!

[spike00cgar]

If Zack and AC Slader were there, they would have kept screek in line