In this episode, this happens:
In less exciting news, Dustin is nowhere to be found for most of our show. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing...
If you'll remember, last episode was to be continued and so it is. We pick up with everyone in shock over Dustin's dildo outburst.
Shock!
Dustin sits on a bed backstage ranting, promising that he'll stay around to rile people up because look what his words did. It's undoubtedly doing wonders for his approval rating, that's for sure. On Kimberley, he shrugs and says, "If ya need d***, ya need d***." Who is he to diagnose that, though? Call him Dr. Ruth Westheinie.
Ross confronts Dustin on the bed.
Might not want to get too close, Ross. The dude has dildos.
Ross tells Dustin that he's appalled. He explains that he's on Dustin's team and he likes him as a person, but it's hard to be on Dustin's side sometimes. "It's not everybody against you, Dustin. Sometimes, it's you against the world." Ross also implies that Dustin is lacking in humility. He says all of this in his nice, Ross way, but it's cool that at least someone is attempting to talk sense into Dustin and isn't intimidated by his mental terrorism. Could it be that, at heart, Ross is the butchest Fit Clubber? Incredible.
Eventually, to no one's chagrin, Dustin leaves.
And now we can really continue where we left off, at Kimberley's weigh-in. Ant explains that Tiffany had to leave to collect herself, though she wanted to be there to support Kimberley. She's with Kimberley in spirit, kind of like sugar is with Splenda in spirit. Kimberley steps on the scale and...
She lost 3 lbs. Also, this week, she shot a video:
Despite the pouting, it is in no way connected to Zoolander. Back at panel, Stacy tells Kimberley that her poise in dealing with Dustin makes her a great role model. Kimberley then breaks down.
She says that she let Dustin steal her joy a little bit. And here, he thought he was giving it back with the dildo suggestion. Damn those communication lines! Kim has an internal conflict -- she wonders if by attempting to remain collected in the face of Dustin's heckling, she's doing her young fans a disservice. Should she be more aggressive? The answer is: whatever burns the most calories. Restraint exercises are, in fact, effective for many.
Kimberley's target for next time is 2 lbs.
And then, we flash forward a week.
Stacy leads a meeting with the group to discuss what went down with Dustin. The troublemaker himself does not attend. Imagine! It's better this way, anyway, because he would either end up being a punching bag or people would end up censoring themselves and not get out their true feelings, which is what the meeting is all about.
Everyone weighs in on Dustin: Tiffany is shocked at new level he'll take things. Also she feels like she can't be nice to him or she's betraying others that he's hurt. Brat was pissed at his Kimberley-dildo comment. Cledus found Dustin's comment inexplicable. Maureen wasn't cool with Dustin's "retarded joke" because she has a brother who's retarded. Kim explains how he made it clear that he's on the show to save his career. Ross tries to be a peacemaker, but this is hard because he isn't Jesus. Mo adds that she wants him to come back. "I just want to see everyone win." This sounds nice written out, but really, she just wants to mop the floor with him.
What is a public hanging without rope? At least, that's what the next transition suggests for the teams suit up...
...for a climbing and rope-swinging exercise that Harvey first demonstrates.
Anyone can do this, but it does help if you've been bitten by the same bug that bit Spider-Man.
Here's what the Fit Clubbers must do:
Climb a pole.
Balance on a beam.
Swing off it.
Simple right? Tell that to Warren.
At first, it's hard to say if he's scared of heights or if he's just really attracted to that pole.
It turns out that it's the latter, and he eventually climbs down without completing the task:
Also notable is Cledus' triumph over his fear of heights:
It's really beautiful. Like something out of Titanic.
Da Brat follows Warren's example and chickens out once she's made her way up the pole. Warren, on the other hand, turns his back on his example and makes his way up again...
...only to hit a snag and be left hanging as he tries to do his final rope swing...
Is that some bizarre form of pole karma?
No matter. Since this was really just a personal challenge and not a team vs. team effort, no one loses. Alternately, no one wins. Like last week's challenge in which both teams ultimately were rewarded, this is slightly disappointing.
And then, it's time for a whole new round of weigh-ins.
Someone's missing and everyone couldn't be happier!
In addition to Dustin, Dr. Ian also couldn't make it. He at least has a reasonable excuse:
A new baby! Wonder if Similac is part of the Smash Diet? Hmmm.
Warren is the first celeb to be weighed in:
The two-pound loss is about the extent of the excitement Warren provides. He just couldn't live up to being left hanging on a pole. Go figure again. His target for next week is 3 lbs.
Next up is Tiffany.
Tiff is miffed that she didn't reach her goal of 4 lbs. Per Harvey and Stacy, though, she looks great. And isn't that what really matters? Looks? The scales don't lie, but the eyeballs are your bread and butter. Or, really, multi-grain bread and no-calorie butter-esque spray. Or something. Tiff also explains her early departure last week, saying that she can't really deal with screaming and crying. Hmmm. Might want to rethink the reality-TV thing, then, Tiffo. Tiffany's target for next time is 4 lbs.
And then there is Mo. She weighs in and check the gif above for her reaction. Or just look at this still:
She looks horrified, like if the Tall Man from Phantasm saw himself in the mirror and got scared. Also, she lost a pound. Would her head have popped off if she lost more? Would blood shoot out of her nose like a fountain?
Mo has now lost 19.3 percent of her body weight. This is really amazing. Also, she reveals that her excitement over the weight loss stemmed from the rocky week that preceded it. The day after the Dustin bust-up, Mo stayed in bed. She was depressed over Dustin's joking about retarded people because she has a brother who's mentally retarded and she has heard jokes about him all her life. See, this is exactly the reason why you don't joke about retarded people. You never know who's going to be rightfully sensitive about such things. You never know what's going to make you look like a jerk. Well...maybe. Dustin seems to know exactly what's going to make him look like a jerk.
Then, we see some bizarre footage of Maureen taking a pillow-fighting class.
The pillow-fight instructor explains that pillow fighting takes an old male fantasy idea and turns it into a real sport. Football does that, too – it's just that the males having that particular fantasy are most likely gay.
At one point, Mo says that she enjoys the submissive aspect of this exercise. Waaaaaaay TMI. She also challenges Harvey to a fight. Harvey declines. The go-figuring continues. Mo's target for next time (set by herself) is 3 lbs.
And then there is Da Brat.
Oh snap! She gained! She explains that she didn't work out as much. Well, there's your problem, Brat. More ass-crunching, less gum-flapping. Harvey calls Brat out for chickening out of the climbing/roping Fit Camp challenge. He offers her to try it again. Brat declines. Big mistake for she has 5 lbs. to lose for next time.
Next up is Ross.
Still kicking ass, Ross is down 15.4 percent of his body weight. When asked about Dustin the peace-making Ross stammers out things like, "I don't hate Dustin" and "It is lighter without him." Harvey's response? "You don't have to hate him to admit he's a waste of sperm." Ross says he wouldn't use those words. Harvey says he'll put them in Ross' mouth for him. So now Harvey is putting "sperm" in Ross' mouth? It's really been beautiful this season, watching their relationship blossom.
Ross' goal for next time is 3 lbs.
And then, Cledus.
Cledus says his downfall is that he listened to what the judges said and ate three meals a day. He contends that had he stuck to his regimen of chicken and broccoli, that wouldn't have happened. The judges balk at this. Cledus says he did everything this week to lose weight including getting a colonic. Wow. First it was the submission. Then the sperm in the mouth. And now colonics. We've reached a new height of icky. What's next? Is someone going to make a dildo out of their penis and then offer it to Kimberley Locke? Oh wait. That already happened.
Cledus' target is 2 lbs.
Finally, there is Kimberley.
She's lost 2 lbs. And there's more persevering where that came from: she was ready to leave the show, but her cast mates convinced her to stay. And really, letting Dustin getting to her that much would have been criminal.
Kimberley also went to hand out toys to kids as part of the charitable donation from Fit Clubbers' challenge last week.
It's nothing nearly as scary as this screen shot suggests.
Kim's target for next week is 4 lbs.
And then, time for the scales:
And so, the Dustin-free Athletes are kicking butt. But that doesn't mean we've seen the last of Dustin. As a coda, we're treated to a rambling interview conducted in a car:
He says things like, "Life without conflict is nirvana and that's what man has been searching for since the dawn of time," and,
"He who speaks does not know. He who knows does not speak." How all of this applies to him is unclear. Yoda he is not.
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My family and I have watch this show since it first begin and we think this has been the most shocking show ever.
I and my son use to like Dustin but after his display on this show he has gone down major cool points with both of us. I hope somehow he gets the messages that people are trying to make clear to him and make major changes in his manners and personality.
Posted by: Marsha and Ervin | June 01, 2007 at 12:09 AM
I WISH I WAS A CELEBERTY SO I COULD LOSE A COUPLE OF POUNDS.
Posted by: Komarious K. | June 01, 2007 at 03:35 AM
newyork is a spoiled brat tome......
Posted by: alexandria | June 01, 2007 at 02:12 PM
O.K....here is my analysis...I truly think Maureen
McCormick is high on Cocaine..her behavior is erratic, and she has admitted to having a prior problem before with it....So, I'm betting that her addiction is resurfacing. Two of cocaine side effects are hyperactivity, and weight loss..I'm guessing that the reason she's so hopped up is in DIRECT correlation to Cocaine usage. How much is too much??? I hope that Stacy Kaiser (and Harvey, Dr. Ian) keep their eye on Maureen, because it's so unhealthy. For all anyone knows~she's is digging her own grave.
As far as the other castmates are concerned, their doing well, and being supportive of each other, except for a few slips here and there (diet-wise), they all seem dedicated to the show's ultimate goal--WEIGHT LOSS!! Dustin Diamond is not included in my favorable view of the others' efforts-by the way....He is a one-man side-show IDIOT!!! I cannot stand him, and truly if this show ever wants to truly be respected, they should KICK OFF THIS HAS-BEEN degenerate!!!!!! He is counter-productive to the show's objectives, and disregards Dr. Ians diet tips, food referrals...it's SO RUDE!!! I LOVE HARVEY, AND DR. IAN, but when Dustin offered Stacy a souvenir of his "member"..I thouht that was sooo INAPPROPRIATE!! He could get arrested for sexual harrassment someday if he keeps up with his fowl/crude language...Not too many other people would put up with his crap!
*THERE IS PAYBACK THOUGH....Karma will come back to haunt him MAJOR...to the point where his career will turn to "DUST"!!
Posted by: LAURIE | June 01, 2007 at 02:34 PM
This has been the worst show in CFC history. the behavior of the celebrities and staff has been outrageious. The most disturbing being the altercation between Dustin and Harvey.
Dustin is obviously an attention hound, and will do or say whatever it takes to be in the center of it all. Harvey (who I feel is extremely callous towards everyone) let himself be dragged down with the pigs. His behavior was no better than Dustins in this situation. His behavior did not make him look like a man, he looked like an ignorant school yard bully. Embarrassimg to himself, as well as all of us watching.
Dr. Ian should have stepped up to the plate. Taking Harvey's side was no right. You should have remained neutral and let both of them know how inappropriate and ignorant thier behavior is.
Posted by: jeannette | June 02, 2007 at 02:45 PM
I am shocked with Dustin's behavior. I don't think he knows how idiotic he looks and sounds. no wander he can't find any work. Who would want him. I hope that no one out there hires him for anything. i can't wait for this season to be over so that i don't have to look at him any more. what a pathetic little boy.
Posted by: Rhonda | June 02, 2007 at 08:54 PM
dustin said something about going on the howard stern show to sell his products. my bet is his goofy behavior is to impress howard or the people at surius to hire him. this all purely show. he thinks he coming across sounding intelligent and funny. if he only knew.
Posted by: carmie | June 03, 2007 at 02:31 PM
Dustin is definitely jealous of Kimberley. All she had to do to win her fame, was open her mouth and sing. I bet Dustin had a ton of auditions before Saved By The Bell when he was a kid, and because Saved By The Bell wanted some one weird, he was perfect for it. Apparently he isolated himself from that cast as well, so no one wanted him after Saved By The Bell, which lead to him going broke. Then he sees how easily Kimberley gets her fame, and how she is still in the spotlight. He's just like a little kid. He thinks he's getting more fame out of his rude comments, but in reality, everyone is sick of him. I bet he signed some contract and that's why he hasn't been kicked off or left for good yet. That's a shame. I'm really getting sick of him. If I had known he was such a jerk, I wouldn't have watched Saved By The Bell so much. Once a has been, always a has been.
Posted by: Rachel | June 03, 2007 at 05:00 PM
I will never watch this show again. I cannot believe that they are practically begging Dustin to stay -LET HIM LEAVE - you are playing right into his hands - this is awful. I was actually standing in front of my television yelling at Warren G to stop making himself look like a fool by begging Dustin to stay after all he does is belittle everyone else on the team. You have lost a loyal viewer - and taken my family along with me.
Posted by: Cindy B | June 03, 2007 at 09:59 PM
i wish they would just let him leave. he's such a drama queen!! every show has to be about him. he wants all the camera time and i switch the channel when he comes on the television because he is annoying and pathetic.
Posted by: bethie | June 03, 2007 at 10:01 PM
Dustin is so fugly. His only claim to fame is his so-called big d*ck and playing a dorky nerd on some teeny bopper show. His only chance at fame now is in gay porn where he can put his so-called big d*ck to good use. He's to fugly for staight porn.
Posted by: Don | June 04, 2007 at 03:08 PM
Ive also been watching this show since the begining and it is by far, one of the worst shows of CFC. "SCREECH" I dont know what your motives are but your being a little ridiculous with your tactics ...like Brat said this is a loose weight show, so for you to sign up for the show with your frame of mind makes me wonder what it is that your really trying to accomplish, cause it aint loosing weight!!! And at this point it damn sure aint becoming a star again cause you have really showed your true self and I dont think anyone likes you anymore.
Posted by: Wendy J | June 04, 2007 at 04:17 PM
I love the show!!! Except for Dustin, this has been my favorite cast. I have been a huge fan of Maureen since I was a Brady Bunch fanatic in the 70's. I wish her and the rest of the cast, except Dustin of course, great success in keeping their weight off. Can't wait for Sunday!
Posted by: Michelle | June 05, 2007 at 01:15 AM
who the hell does dustin think he is hes such a loser he wants this attention cuz its the only publicity he can get in saved by the bell he was a joke and he still is till this day. he needs 2 realize that hes a nobody
Posted by: Briana o | June 06, 2007 at 05:57 PM
Next Season have Celebs w/ the Fans loosing weight
Posted by: Kevin | June 07, 2007 at 02:11 AM
I love Ms McCormick. I am not paying attention to anything negative anyone else says. I admire her attitude dispite everything she has been going through in her personal life. She seems to be a real person and that is a compliment for any celebs. In fact, the highest compliment I can pay Ms Mo is that she seems like a Christian to me - very human and very forgiving. Go Mo!! you are an inspiration to me!!
Posted by: Truitti | June 09, 2007 at 02:20 PM
OMG!!! what in the world dose that asshold thinks when the words come out of his mouth. and we all no who im talking about
Posted by: leslie | June 09, 2007 at 03:49 PM
I think keeping Dustin on the show is great. It's funny watching his antics and how he gets to them. Why don't they give him his own show like "I Love New York". Since his relationship with his girlfriend Jennifer is about to end, why don't they set up a "I love Diamond" or "Love for Dustin" show. That would be halarious.
Posted by: Rafael | June 10, 2007 at 06:48 PM
I think keeping Dustin on the show is great. It's funny watching his antics and how he gets to them. Why don't they give him his own show like "I Love New York". Since his relationship with his girlfriend Jennifer is about to end, why don't they set up a "I love Diamond" or "Love for Dustin" show. That would be halarious.
Posted by: Rafael | June 10, 2007 at 06:49 PM
I think allowing Dustin to be on the show was a waste of time. THIS IS THE WORST CELEBRITY EVER!!! He's a nobody just trying to steal the spot light so he can have his own show...NOT GONNA HAPPEN. He looks disgusting, has no dignity or pride about himself, and is a waste of Ian and Harvey's time. Not to mention he keeps letting down the people who cares about him and his teammates. Cheating taking pills thats what regular people do, not celebrities that are on a lose weight televison show. Please NEVER allow Dustin on a reality show again, and I would really love it if Harvey would beat the hell out of Dustin...that would be the best thing EVER!!!
Posted by: Erica | June 10, 2007 at 11:18 PM
Dustin is a TERRIBLE representation of a man. He has no class, he doesn't seem intelligent by the way he constantly contradicts what he says and what he feels. He is two-faced and I believe he talks behind the casts back for camera time and because he is too scared to say it to their face. He acts like he isnt scared but when you dont back down to his bull he falls back and wants to act like he is so hurt, and everyone hates him, and no one cares about him. Im so glad Harvey lashed out on him how he did, hopefully that will teach him to watch what he do and say to people. He should'nt even be on this show, he was a child star who wants to promote his sex tape. But Dustin thinks he is so above other people. I feel he should be put in a mental hospital before someone really hurts him.
Posted by: Shanice | June 12, 2007 at 01:47 AM
Dustin, I think you are sooooooooooo RIDICULOUS, DUMB, and STUPID.... You make no freaken sense, and you need to seriously grow up. Harvey you are AWSOME, i wish i was famous so i can get you to train me :)
Posted by: loulou26 | June 12, 2007 at 02:45 AM
I would love to personally thank Maureen for staying positive, and absolutely true to herself. I admire her for always having a smile, and for her support of everyone on the show. She is an inspiration for her devotion to her brother as well, who seems to be flourishing under her care and love. Mo you are an excellent role model, and I hope you continue being exactly who you are!
I think everyone else that has been trying on this show is an inspiration as well. Especially with the distraction of the one who has not tried at all.
VH1 needs to post on Best Week Ever when Harvey kicks the bejeesus out of Dustin.
Posted by: Miranda | June 13, 2007 at 11:24 PM
I feel sorry Dustin. He's a sad little man. Kudos to the the rest of the cast for working hard to meet your goals and willingness to share your heartaches and triumphs with the those of us who watch. It does give others a certain amount of perverse glee to see you fail. However, it for many, many more allows us to see you are human and like us you have to work hard each day to succeed to do it the right way. Not to cheat, ie take a "fat burner", diet pill, etc. It takes time, energy, exercise and eating right to lose weight. The is no magic. Thank you for showing us the right way.
Posted by: Meg | June 15, 2007 at 02:23 PM
It's so sad that Dustin has to be little other people just so that he can feel good about himself. He will be the next star to overdose or go to jail just so that he can have 15 minutes more in the spotlight. I love the rest of the crew and and give them a HUGE hand on all that they have done to inprove themselves and entertain us all at the same time. I really hate that losers like Dustin has to be on there. To the directors of the show, most of your audience is older and settled in their lives we do not was drug heads and want to be porn stars on there, we want to see celebs as they really are, just like us struggling to healthy.
Posted by: Monica | June 16, 2007 at 11:39 PM