You can't have a comeback without faltering first, and you wouldn't have Dice Undisputed without both of them. The Celebreality series in which comedian Andrew "Dice" Clay juggles getting his career on track and keeping his family in line has its share of dicey moments -- some of them painfully funny, others funnily painful. Our weekly rundown of each episode's highlights begins after the jump.

Episode 1

The show begins with Dice telling his hand-held camera about his comeback, proclaiming that the country needs a "comedic hero."

He's speaking from the heart with shaving cream on his face. Comedic-hero potential!

Dice takes a few blows during the episode -- the biggest is probably that his road manger, Wheels informs him that he won't be able to accompany Dice to his next gig. It's all downhill from there, as said gig is to take place in...Jersey.

The tension mounts between Dice and Wheels as Dice gets his hair cut...

At one point during their ongoing discussion about Wheels' availability, Dice asks Wheels for a phone. Wheels doesn't have his phone. Now he's totally useless. Dice then walks outside, maybe to borrow his fianceé Elanor's phone, only to find her talking to her ex! Things go from bad to worse to petty when, later at home, Elanor and Dice tear at each other's throats over the great domestic divider that is soap. The fight escalates and before you can say, "Hickory dickory dock," Elanor is telling Dice to, "Have a good time in Jersey!" That is a condemnation if ever there was.

Dice gets the last laugh, though -- literally. He spins the fight into a bit (in Jersey?) to the delight of his rapturous audience. They're rooting for him domestically and vocationally.

Episode 2

Dice travels to Miami for a gig with his barely competent and lucid replacement road manager, Todd. But really, this episode could have been dubbed "100 Yucks of Solitude" for all the time Dice spends without anyone in front of him. First he's dissed on the beach... 

...then, Todd won't swim with him...

...and then, the entire trip to Miami loses its point as he arrives at the venue he's supposed to play, only to find out that he's not booked that night...

Awkward! He's told by the club's owner that he can open for the headlining act, but that kind of sucks. Dice is left out in the cold without an audience besides the millions of TV viewers.

In the end, Todd ends up booking him another gig, which requires the pair to shack up in a single room of a charming place called the Golden Link Hotel . The nice thing is that they probably don't arouse much suspicion as they pay for the night and not by the hour.

This is how Dice spends the night before his show. At least he isn't by himself anymore.

Finally, Dice based a career on his way with words, so we'd be remiss if we didn't share at least one of his gems every week. The Dice Quote of the Week comes from a meeting with Dice's agent, Dennis, who, within one episode, becomes his former agent. As Dennis breaks down the reality of Dice's career (basically, Dice can't fill stadiums like he used to), their talk is interrupted by a call from Debbie Gibson. Here is the face of a man sidelined for an '80s teen-pop queen in 2007:

Sad. Dennis hangs up and tells Dice, "Debbie Gibson," as though he's supposed to be impressed. Dice's retort? "Debbie Gibson, you're saying it like it's even a person." Oh! It's just reality according to Dice after all the reality he has to face. An even exchange, really.

Comments

[Gabrielle]

What a waist of a show case. Who is this corny dude. He should just give up. He is way too old, and corny. The show is stupid and boring.

[Jamie]

Waste. Not waist! What are you? Twelve?
You can't spell and you're telling us who's corny and boring?

[Rick]

This show is so damn funny. Dice a trainwreck

[Johnny B from the Bronx]

Dice is one of the most talented comedians to ever walk on stage, He ruled the world of comedy once and DICE shall rule again!

That's What I Think! OOOOOO

[Jag]

Are you kidding me? Dice, DID rule the world once, then he got married. Hey it happens, he will be back, and if he is reading this.
DO NOT GIVE UP!!! There are a TONS of us out there that enjoy your work.

[PIRATE GIRL]

SAW YOU IN NEW HAMPSHIRE THIS WINTER!! GREAT SHOW.. DICE RULES!!!!!
PIRATE GIRL RI

[Joe Martillaro]

SERIOUSLY, DICE IS IN A CLASS OF HIS OWN. YOU CANNOT COPY HIM OR TRY TO CONTAIN HIM. ALL OF THESE DOPES SELLING DVD'S TODAY OWE ROYALTIES TO THE DICEMAN. WHO, BEFORE DICE, COULD SELL OUT ARENAS AND CD'S OR EVEN BRAND A COMIC ACT? NOBODY. PERIOD. IF HE IS NOT THE BEST COMIC OF ALL TIME, HE IS CERTAINLY THE ONE WITH THE BIGGEST SACK!

DICE RULES-

[Billie]

I THINK THAT DICE IS THE GREATEST IN THE BUSINESS!!! HERE'S TO U DICE MAN!! MUAAAAAAAAA CIAO BELLO

[Danny V]

Snapper-Heads at VH1,
This is the most entertaining show that I have ever seen on your channel. Stick with it. Gauranteed hit. Love it.

[Danny V]

Snapper-Heads at VH1,
This is the most entertaining show that I have ever seen on your channel. Stick with it. Garaunteed hit. Love it.
Go get em Dicekis.

[james d hayes]

hey dice this show rocks good luck on your comeback

[MIKE]

This is a very funny look at a guy who at one time was on top of the world. He was filling arenas with thousands of fans. His comedy verbalized what an awful lot of guys were "thinking" but never in a million years would act on. Dice says something to that effect on one of the clips where he tells a present day audience that he would be serving time if he ever did any of those things. It would be interesting to see how or if he is able to re-invent his comedy but this time from the perspective of being a 50ish yr old guy & verbalize what guys hitting 50 go through. By the way a few years back he had a short-lived sitcom on network TV that bombed but he was on the right track with that.(It was a very funny show) Taking "The Diceman" (aka a 30 year old wise-ass) and turning him into a 50 yr old with what might be his best days behind him would make a great sitcom today.(it's working for Larry David!) For now, this latest episode in the saga that is Andrew Clay will have to suffice. Nice to have him back on the tube & wish his show success

[Frankzi]

We need more celebrity impressions from Dice. The show is great!

[Carlos]

I can't get over how you ripped Wendy William's sidekick a new hole.

Dice: "Can you sell out your living room?"

[seymour]

Bogus show. He used to be funny, now he sounds like an old man who is irritated because he hasn't been able to shit in a month. What a cranky bitch he has become. High maintenance is for those who can afford to be. Andrew Clay has lost his comedic mojo. Deal with it.

[whosthatlady]

Dice Dice Dice you turned into a whimp. Dont let the new woman in your life rule you. Maybe you should stay single she needs some comedy. I guess being a comics girlfriend means she dosnt have to have a sense of humor. Dice Talk about whats happening now dont go back to the old stuff make it new fresh they will come around. I guess you softened up it shows!!! you have the control dont give it up.

[Bob In Fair Lawn]

Dice has the dubious distinction of being the first big fish to fry at the alter of Political Correctness. He should have never tried to tone down his act to please the people who hated him. He's a freaking comic, sorry, ethnic jokes are funny, gay jokes are funny, sexist jokes are funny and always will be, unless you're a holier-than-thou liberal weenie.

The tactics used against him are now are par for the course against anyone the left disagrees with, they're all for free speech-as long as they agree with it. If not, look out.

[Bob In Fair Lawn]

About his agent:

Time to stop loving him Dice.

This is one of these guys who LOVES to be able to humiliate a celebrity. One of these agents who will tell you: I made so-and-so, I see them when they're up and I see them when they're down, but I'll always be rich, I'll always have a career, etc.

He enjoyed belittling Dice, relished it, loved it, lived for it. He knew the camera was on and that's how he treated a guy who made him millions of dollars, nice guy. Funny, Dice is a little too nice, I'm glad he fired him, not that the agent cares, but it means Dice is getting his balls back and seeing things more clearly. If he truly saw it clearly he wouldn't love the guy anymore, he would see that the guy never loved him by the way he treated him, disgraceful.

For him to smugly take Debbie Gibson's phone call while with Dice, then tell her "he'll be gone in 20 minutes" and then tell Dice "Debbie Gibson" like he was saying "Clint Eastwood" was the lowest of low slaps imaginable. Watch if Dice gets hot again how quick this sleazebag will be calling him "Dice Baby" again.

Dice do not EVER hire this guy again, I understand sticking with your friends, but this guy is NOT one of them.

If you need a pep talk D-Man you can use my special DICE email I just set up, [email protected]

I come up from behind and GUUUUUUSSSSSSHHHHHZZZZZ, love that bit. Whenever I hit a great golf shot I always say while it's in the air AND...and when it lands...GUUUUSSHHHZZZ. Dice has been with me on the golf course for a long time, once my buddies hear me say AND...they know the ball is going to land next to the pin, GUUSSHHZZ.

[RCS]

Best Show Ever!!! Dice is the best. Keep up the good work.
RCS

[dan ribecchi]

pure genius!i'm also from sout philly...13th and ritner

[Bobby From Philly]

I cannot get enough of this show. I must see The Dice Man when he comes to town. GLAD HE'S BACK!!

[SC]

Dice is Dice!!! Dice Rules...

[Tommy]

Dice, you were the man, you are the man, you will always be the man! Never forget that!
I believe in you, never give up on your dreams!! Those who were not with you from the beginning have no idea what you are capable of. You are the best. See you at Giants stadium!!
Respect to the Diceman!!

[Keegan Reid]

Dice,

I have been a fan since my teenage years. I am in my mid 30s now. You are still one of my favorite comedians. In fact, I had your whole routine memorized and would recite it for my friends at parties. Your material is always a hit!

I wish you the very best. Keep kicking ass and taking names and as one of my favorite Entertainers would say, Billy Joel at one of his Madison Square Garden concerts, "Don't take no shit off anybody!".

A lot of people look up to you because you represent the common guy and say profoundly what we all think, and are just dying to say!

I keep waiting for your next album to be entitled, "Dice - Telling it like it REALLY is!"

Don't forget who you are, and never forget the fans that appreciate you! You will always be "THE DICE MAN!!".

You don't have to prove anything Dice, you are already the greatest.

Just one of your millions of fans,

-Keegan Reid

[Pooh-Baby]

Dice is not only cool but on point and ANYONE who takes his humor as the real Andrew Clay is just an idiot looking for a fight they're gonna loose. He's like Andy Kaufman, or Lisa Lampinelli, it's FREAK'n humor. Dice is the rock all the pebbles fall from. Thanks Dice (TCB)