This recap smells like Knobbs.

Proceed with spray.

 

Though this episode reunites the Hogans with their Clearwater neighbor, former wrestler Brian Knobbs , it's less a profile of him and more a test of Linda Hogan's will. It is she, not he, who's being asked to enter the ring and so it is she who is set up to succeed or fail. This is evident immediately as Terry talks with Knobbs on the phone and Knobbs basically invites himself to stay with the Hogans. Brooke catches wind of this...

...or maybe she can just smell Knobbs through the wire. In any event, she says that when Linda finds out that Knobbs is going to be staying with them, she's going to have a "tizzy fit." And while Linda doesn't exactly revert to speaking in tongues, pulling out her hair and shooting fire out of her nose, she's pretty pissed when she finds out what's going on.

Linda protests fairly gently, but firmly states that Knobbs will have to sleep on the floor, as there is no way he's sleeping on her couch. Nick counters with, "You let Foxy sleep on the couch!" Linda says, "Well, Foxy's my dog." To that, Nick and Terry say...

"Brian's our dog." Or maybe "dawg," in a Randy Jackson-kinda way. If that's the case, what of Knobbs' tone and pitch? Actually, episode, please don't answer that. Nobody wants to hear his ass sing. Nobody wants to hear his ass at all.

Then Knobbs comes and he says "awesome" about 5,000 times while being shown around.

You know what's really awesome? Ape drapes.

Linda enlists the help of Nick to set up the guest room for Knobbs (she caved about making him sleep on the floor -- stay strong, Linda!). Nick just basically rubs his exposed ass on Knobbs' pillows.

As though Nick's ass is any match for what Knobbs can provide!  This point is really hit home soon, when we see Knobbs emerging from the bathroom. He asks Linda for extra toilet paper. You know he used like a basketball's worth of TP and it still wasn't enough. Linda enters the bathroom to replace the toilet paper and is assaulted by Knobbs' remains. He desecrated the place. This prompts her to give him his own spray to travel with.

Like that's really gonna help!

The next morning, Knobbs is up before Terry, which means that Terry faces torture.

Awww. It's not torture at all, actually. Knobbs is a cuddler.

Then they go booze shopping and buy enough to completely fill the fridge.

That is cartoonish. Linda agrees.

When she goes to confront Terry and Knobbs about this craziness, she finds them floating alongside beer cans in the pool. They ask for more beer. She fetches it for them.

   

The line between hostess and enabler really is elusive, isn't it? Stop making your problem worse, Linda!

Then Terry, Nick and Knobbs go to a baseball game and they're treated to some time in the practice batting cage.

This gives Linda the opportunity to survey the state of the guest room he's been staying in.

Is this disgusting or is it a sign of intense loneliness? After all, Knobbs is sharing his bed...with beer cans.

Then, the episode pretty much becomes a montage of Knobbs antics. Call it That's So Knobbs.

While eating, he keeps jokes rolling. One of them involves dubbing himself "the fat Hulk Hogan."

Maybe the male Susan Powter is more accurate.

He busts in while Terry and Linda are sleeping, asking if they can watch Wrestlemania 7.

The answer, unsurprisingly, is "Go away."

He offers to cook breakfast, but then comes close to burning it, so Linda takes over.

It's bacon-fried steaks, by the way, so again: enabler.

Then he offers to walk the dogs, but Linda says he can bathe Cocoa, instead.

Surprisingly, he does not try to bacon-fry Cocoa.

He does, however, become considerably wet in the process and decides to share that with Nick. Nick just happens to have a bunch of friends over.

Poor everyone! After, Nick says that he smells now because of Knobbs. Shocker!

Then, while heckling Terry in the kitchen, Knobbs puts on Terry's hat and says...

"I'm bald-headed so I gotta wear a hat this big." OK, that's kind of funny.

Oh, and somewhere in the process of all this, Knobbs offered to do laundry that Linda was about to put in the wash. But he threw a red towel in with her white delicates, creating pink lingerie.

Linda, however, decides that she can't yell at him for this. Seriously, she's the one who trusted him to do this. She would have been better going with Cocoa.

Finally, a bunch of wrestlers  (including crowd favorite "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan) and their fannypacks descend on the Hogan household because they're in town for some event in which they were signing autographs. They all end up in the pool, which is probably best for the olfactory glands of all. Wash it all away, boys.

Linda arrives home and sees this and she ends up being thrown in the pool by Knobbs. Someone else pulls Brooke in. Linda takes it all in stride and ends the episode doing this pose:

For not losing her mind, or otherwise resorting to murder, she is the champ. Linda Hogan is a survivor!

Comments

[Double EE]

You think that joker was a super fan! Shit, His ass was puking from running the ropes. what a joker

[Rollin Hard]

I think Knobbs needs his own show, anybody agree

[3 unit]

Oh yeah he need his own show the show is great but it was alot funny back in clearwater when knobbs was in about every episode

[dj]

mmmm 23 pics--16 of which Hulk & Brian are in com'on GUESS how many envolve DRINKING--com'on it's not hard--especially LOVED the one at the ball park where they were drinking then decided to LEAVE--mmm--wonder who DROVE ??

[steve]

best moment was when hogan dropped the big elbow on knobbs while he was still sleeping. GREAT tv moment!!

[nick hogan]

im gay nick i wreck cars into walls do you like buttholes like i do if you do then you are my friends oh yes i do plur heheheh my phone has butthole pictures in it heh....i dont why i like buttholes but i do they make me horney. AND YEs I HAVE SEX WITH MY SISTER PLENTY OF TIMES HER BUTTHOLE IS THE SIZE OF A PooL BALL :] hhehe

[DEBBIE]

i think hulk is doing his daughter, nick is an a hole brooke can't sing and she's weird looking and linda needs to keep her fat covered.

[gemma fitzgibbon]

i love the program all the people are saps if they dont like it