When speaking Spanish, it's important to keep the tongue loose. Gotta roll those R's!

This may qualify as going overboard. But whatever: she's learning.

This episode begins in a mini-mart, where Brooke and Nick are befuddled over this alien form of vocalization that all of the workers are taking part in.

Surprisingly, what's throwing the Hogans off isn't a pattern of dolphin-like clicks and squeals, but something far, far more confusing: Spanish.

There's more confusion when Brooke and Nick ask people for directions a little later.

(Doesn't Brooke look way like Kelly Clarkson in this shot?)

Back at home, Brooke and Nick complain that they were unable to do anything on account of the language barrier. And really, how long have they been in Miami at this point, for this to become an issue just now? Anyway, Terry says that the universal language is friendship. O....K. Linda suggests the family take Spanish lessons, but Terry says he doesn't need them, as he understands what "Hulk Hogan, Numero Uno" means, thank you very much. And really, if strangers aren't doling out praise, who cares what they have to say, anyway?

Meanwhile, Linda has a run-in with her housekeeper, Selena.

In case you aren't aware of the imaginary yet very real cultural line that runs down the middle of that screenshot, it should be noted that Selena speaks Spanish, too. This results in an over-gesticulated, over-annunciated conversation. Again, how long have the Hogans employed this woman that only now the Spanish thing becomes a hurdle? Linda asks if this woman has any friends "for helping me cleaning…more señoras?" When you approach English as innovatively as the Hogans often do, perhaps learning a new language is indeed the next logical step. So savvy, this family!

Then Terry makes his way through Miami...en español!

At Subway, despite an obvious language barrier resulting in an order that isn't so much placed as it is ping-ponged, Terry gets exactly what he wants, which is a sandwich with double the turkey but a normal amount of cheese. That's a fairly complicated request and he fares just fine. Who needs Spanish?

Then something really terrible happens. Terry goes to GNC and, after several, "Me speaka English" moments, Terry asks the employee helping him if they have "something for sex, you know, like ginseng." And since he's asking a Spanish-speaker, he provides a pictorial:

Ugh! Now America knows the mortification Brooke and Nick experience daily.

...Except, maybe not, because back at home, Terry shows everyone what he got at GNC. Nick's labeling of it as "wiener cream" suggests that he's taking it in stride. Linda rubs some on her head and she reports that it hurts. Wrong head, Linda.

Then Linda calls a Spanish tutoring service in search of a "cram course" in the language. Will there be a test involved?

The tutor arrives:

She asks how long the Hogans have been in Miami. Nick tells her three or four months and she says, "And now you've realized you need to speak Spanish," as though she can't believe it took them this long either. See?

The Hogans ask her how to say silly things that relate to their lives. Linda asks how to say, "Not tonight, I have a headache." Nick asks how to say, "I've got a disco ball in my mouth."

It's, "Tengo una bola de musica en mi boca." Que crunk!

Terry asks how to say, "Where is the gym?"

She tells him and he repeats back almost too well...

They don't call Spanish "the language of the crinkled nose" for nothing!

The instructor suggests that the Hogans visit Spanish restaurants to really soak in the culture and language, so they take a trip to Little Havana. In a Cuban swag store, Nick and Terry trade Scarface impressions.

Again, they've been in Miami for months and they're just getting to this?

Then they go by a domino park, where we find out that Linda didn't know that dominoes were part of a real game -- she just thought they were an excuse to tip tables over. Fascinating. Then they eat Cuban food and it's good, or so they claim.

Time for another lesson. This time, Terry asks how to say one of his catchphrases in Spanish, "What 'cha gonna do, brother?"

It's "Que vas hacer, hermano?" Terry says this, and in the process proves that in addition to friendship, pointing and mugging are also universal languages. And really, even a cursory viewing of any telenovela could have taught us that.

Then to cap off this adventure in someone else's culture, Linda prepares a Spanish meal. She requests that her family only speak Spanish while they dine.

Wait, is she speaking Spanish or cave woman?

Anyway, the meal doesn't turn out exactly as the Hogans hoped.

And that's to say nothing of the Spanish!

Want more? Watch the Hogans discuss the reality of being a celebrity and we figure out the best "Whatcha Gonna Do" moment! right here on VSPOT!

Comments

[STEFANIE O'CONNOR]

HI HOGAN KNOWS BEST
HIW YIU TODAY
LOVE SOWH FUN SHOW FUN WOW
COOL ONE WOW
LOVE
STEFANIE
MY OH MUSIC PLESAN HELEP TOO MUSIC ROCK WOMEN MUSIC TOO..
LOVE
STEFANIE
8 WEEKEND SNWOH TOO
WOW HAPPY FOR YOU WORLD 1 FAN

[stefanie o'connor]

how you today
love music fan her too
sowh too
love
stefanie

[DONNA]

I GUESS THEY WILL LET ANYONE MAKE A CD THESE DAYS

[deanna]

you know the worlds going to hell when you have to learn to speak spanish to live miami.

[jamie]

heres a concept move to america LEARN ENGLISH. we shouldn't have to feel like foreigners in our own country.

[Cory]

Brooke you are so fine and you know this

[Cory]

Brooke can you e mail me ay n2craze@yahoo.com

[Cory]

brooke you and your mom got it going on your beautiful

[Cory]

brooke you and your mom got it going on your beautiful

[Rudy]

It's All Good... Great Show from a Great Family! AS for the Girl Next Door... Brooke, keep your head Up... Linda, Great Keeping the family in order... Nick, enjoy it all, just remember the important things in life... and For Terry "the Hulkster" Thank you for letting us into your families Lives... "Que Vas Hacer Hermano!"
Best Wishes to every single one of You!!!
RR from San Diego, California...

[kristina]

HEY HOGANS,
PLEASE DO NOT LEARN SPANISH !!! THEY NEED TO LEARN ENGLISH !!!! THEY KNEW WHEN THEY CAME TO THE STATES THAT WE ARE ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLE. THEY NEED TO LEARN ENGLISH OR GO HOME !!! IF I MOVED TO ANOTHER COUNTRY, I WOULD LEARN THAT COUNTRY'S LANGUAGE ! WHY DO ENGLISH SPEAKING AMERICANS HAVE TO LEARN SPANISH IN OUR OWN COUNTRY ???
PEOPLE THAT MOVE TO AMERICA AND DO NOT LEARN ENGLISH ARE BEING RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL. THEY NEED TO CONFORM TO US, NOT US HAVING TO CONFORM TO THEM.
I LIVED IN SOUTH FLORIDA FOR 20 YEARS, I REFUSED TO LEARN SPANISH IN MY OWN COUNTRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NOW LIVE IN ENGLISH SPEAKING MONTANA.
GOOD LUCK HOGANS !!!!!!!

[Shultzy]

Hi Hogans,

You guys are so cool and open, my husband loves the "Hulksters".... he actually looks lie him too.

We watch your show and hey, thanks for letting us in your great family life.

Best-
Shultzy

[Linda Powell]

A happy hello to the Hogan's! You'r show is great! I want to wish all of you a great new year. I hope it brings all of you closer together, lots of happiness and much prosperity. It's so refreshing to see a family with strong values sticking together and having fun, the way all of you do. God bless, and keep smiling!

[paul cook]

CONGRATS THE HOGAN FAMILY FOR ALL THE SUCCESS. IT IS REALLY GREAT TO GET TO SEE WHAT HOGAN AND YOUR FAMILY IS LIKE BEHIND THE FAME. I MUST SAY THAT IM A LITTLE DISAPOINTED I HAD NO IDEA THE SUPER FAN CONTEST WAS EVEN GOING ON. I SAW HOGAN IN THE EARLY DAY'S BEFORE HE BECAME HULK HOGAN I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO ENTER THE CONTEST. MUCH LOVE TO THE WHOLE FAMILY. GREAT JOB BROOKE. LISTEN TO DAD HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING FOR YOU.

[Hayley]

Hello Hogan Family!!!! I love your guys. All of you speak spainsh. Good Job the Hogan. Keep up the good work. I can't speak spanish. I'm mexican, filipino and irish. Brooke listen to your parents. they tryed to protect you.

[drea]

I think Brook should give up singing. She is not right for that business. The sooner she realizes this the better. FOR ALL OF US

[Margaret]

I absolutely love the song Brooke sings "For a Moment"! It really shows what a beautiful voice you have. When are you going to put on a cd the song you were working on on one of the shows about how you could love both your dad and a boy?

[christy]

Hogan i have loved u ever sence i was a kid.You are my fav.I love your tv show i have been following it all the way. its great. Brook love Your music.U are very talanted.Your values are great just keep them up and dont let anyone tell u diffrent love you guys

[Jaleissy]

um yeah pretty much i am spanish and yeah pretty much u need spanish to live in miami..but yeah brooke good luck with um ur career.. and yeah Nick u r pretty hot lol....but that episode i saw one time when it was along time that you were dating a gurl older than u was pretty sick...I am not dissing the gurl but as fine as you r i BET U can Get a better GURl..and to MOM & DAD (HULK &LINDA ) u guys are the best....But HULK u r overprotective over brooke>....when is she ever gonna be alowed to have a Boyfriend?? When she is 30? Just kidding....Lol...She is 17 ...i feel you Gurl.... But u gus are the best,,
I lUV U>>>

[Jaleissy]

um yeah pretty much i am spanish and yeah pretty much u need spanish to live in miami..but yeah brooke good luck with um ur career.. and yeah Nick u r pretty hot lol....but that episode i saw one time when it was along time that you were dating a gurl older than u was pretty sick...I am not dissing the gurl but as fine as you r i BET U can Get a better GURl..and to MOM & DAD (HULK &LINDA ) u guys are the best....But HULK u r overprotective over brooke>....when is she ever gonna be alowed to have a Boyfriend?? When she is 30? Just kidding....Lol...She is 17 ...i feel you Gurl.... But u gus are the best,,
I lUV U>>>

[Keely]

I had a problem with Brooks comments.." ..Nick I Dont understand N-E thing here, I FEEL LIKE I"M NOT IN MY OWN COUNTRY ANYMORE.." First off I do want to say that I Did love your show, @ 1 . secondly shouldnt u (Brook) know more than one languae, u were born rich BIT*H, & being in a country with so much diversity U should know 4 or 5 differnt languages!!! if u REALLY knew ur history u should that this country BIT#H was Never fu*ken WHITE PPLS or Urs to begin with, so go back to school & take some History Classes!! I'm not sorry to be so offensive but if ur gonna b in a industry where u reach so many different cultures then u need to step Ur game up Girl!! Nick Ur not bad looking " 4 A WHITE GUY" but u need to grow up!! reall women want real Men!! Now to MR & MRS HOGAN I respect u 2, but Mr. Hogan U need to let Brook Make Mistakes.. She is a young women & needs to Fu8k Up, to learn..Mrs Hogan..I think Ur a doll much respect!!!!..A Real Fan

[BIGYO]

HULK let Brook grow up and become her on women and stop trying to baby her!!!

[amy!!]

hey, i think you guys are a trip!! all of yall, you guys are too funny!! reminds me, of my nutty family! anyways i know very little spanish or should i say pekito espanol, anyways i think it would probably be a good thing for all of us to learn the basics in spanish, even if this is america, you know. well i wish you all the best!! much luv

[kestrien]

Holy crap, who are you people making these comments? First, since so many of you object to people not learning English, set an example and learn English YOURSELVES. Grammar and spelling are a part of the language as well.

Second, the Hogans are NOT reading this blog (of course they should, Rich). Your comments are going unheard, which is probably for the better.

[albert]

Hi Hogans.luv the show.just wanted to say that i praise you guys for wanting to learn spanish. But as a Mexican Ameracain i also feel that u guys should push the issue that every race that comes to america should learn english.Am just saying if your family's trying to learn spanish .that everyone should learn english.If they refuse we should refuse to give them green card's .my family members are kind of pissed at me because of my view's on this issue.givin that where all mexican.BUT am a PROUD MEXICAN AMERICAN.& i LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!!!!and so does everyone else. If they didn't then why are they here.I also feel that we should have border patrol in maimi jus like we do in Arizona, California, texas.