How far would you go to prove your devotion to the Hulkster? Would you, for example, get a tattoo?

No? Well, that's why you weren't chosen as the superfan!

Yay, the Hogans are back. And they've got VHS tapes:

Everyone's like, "What in the name of prehistory?!" when a big Fed Ex package of these tapes arrives. Brooke explains to the family that they're for the "superfan contest." The Hogans are to determine which Hulk Hogan fan is the biggest based on the evidence on the tapes. That fan will then stay with the Hogans for a few days, reveling in the throes of superfandom. Uh, why is Brooke the only one who knows about this? Is she the head of the Hogans contest committee? More importantly, is Paul Wall her treasurer?

Whatever. Then they watch the tapes and they're all like amazing. Seriously, an entire reality series could be devoted to getting to know these extremely colorful and interestingly coiffed personalities. Here's just a sampling of what the Hogans waded through to find Terry's superfan:

Hot, hot, hot across the board. It becomes clear, as we see snippets of these fans' tapes that maybe it's best not to pick the biggest fan, per se, but the one who's the least threatening physically, mentally and, most importantly, emotionally. Not that the Hogans necessarily go that route, they just should. Anyway, the dude in the last screen shot is named Kyle. In addition to his extensive memorabilia, Kyle has the distinction of having performed Hulk's signature hand-to-ear gesture with his new wife when they entered their wedding reception.

And so, with this heavily factoring into the decision, Kyle is chosen as the superfan. "His wife is tolerant of it," Linda reasons when talking about Kyle's interest in Hulk. We will soon find out why many wives are not.

A few weeks later, Kyle arrives looking exactly as you'd expect him to look.

The family sits around and kind of talks about Kyle's interest in Terry's career. It feels as though a dowry should be discussed but unfortunately, it is not.

Kyle asks if Terry will record the voice mail message on Kyle's phone. Terry does, and this involves referring to Kyle as "Kyle-mania." You know, if you ever need a confidence boost or just want to seem extra special, just tag the suffix of "-mania" onto your name. It'll lift your spirits in no time, readers-mania.

During a dinner at Ruby Tuesday, Brooke starts to complain after Kyle has gone on for a bit about Terry's wrestling past.

Terry says that he never has a friend around to talk about wrestling. Awww! The symbiotic relationship between Terry and Kyle is so poignant that joking about it would be like joking about clownfish and sea anemone. And what can be said that wasn't said first and better in Finding Nemo?

Later, Kyle, Terry and Nick sit around and watch some of Terry's old wrestling videos. Hanging out with someone who knows so much about your life and career must be like chilling out and throwing back some brews with your psyche. Kyle asks Nick to take a picture of him and Terry watching the videos.

Because, apparently, the video camera wasn't documentation enough.

Nick rolls his eyes, once again proving that he is awesome.

Kyle asks Terry about old costumes and Terry shows him.

It's referenced above in a few of the fan tryouts shots, but really, what was up with the feather boa thing? Was Hulk Hogan so invested in shaking up gender perception that, as an iconic symbol of masculinity, he saw fit to wear a feather boa in the ring? How...glam.

Then, out come these:

They're wrestling tights or whatever the official non-fruity-sounding euphemism is. Terry explains that you have to wear two pair. Otherwise, you risk showing the world your naughty bits. Kyle, not missing a beat, asks if he can wear them. Terry, mercifully says no. Seriously, this is a family show.

Oh, you should take a time out to appreciate Kyle's shirt:

Allegorical!

We now resume our recap with more crotchwear, as Kyle joins Linda in the laundry room:

She explains that Terry wears this to work out. Uh, really? Amazingly, Kyle does not ask to try it on.

Though he does cry when he later talks about his fandom, again.

"That's so cool, Kyle," says Linda. Is it, though? Really? Whatever, the Hogans are seriously patient people. If this episode doesn't make you like them, nothing will.

Terry decides to take Kyle to work out. Nick and this person will accompany them:

It's funny to think of a Bizarro World scenario in which Al Green of "Let's Stay Together" fame became a wrestler instead of a reverend. He can and will get next to you...on the mat!

Before they work out, Terry makes Kyle drink three raw eggs.

OK, that's just mean.

At the gym, as he pumps iron with Kyle, Terry chants, "Big arms, big paychecks." That is a mantra-ready phrase if ever there were.

At the gym, Terry pushes Kyle to the limit (since it's Miami and Rick Ross wasn't available). This results in Kyle throwing up all over the place when they leave.

Vomit is the best possible answer to Hulk's immortal question, "What 'cha gonna do now, brother?"

After working out, Terry treats Kyle to some time in a real wrestling ring, going over showy, pro-wrestling moves.

Kyle and the non-reverend Al Green pick each other up.

Suddenly, that feather boa makes a lot more sense.

To cap off the day, Kyle gets the "Team Hogan" tattoo that's at the top of this post. Terry makes it extra special by filling some of it in:

Meanwhile, Linda puts lipstick on her dog because that is what ladies do while the men are out getting tattoos.

Then it's time for Kyle to leave. His supremely tolerant wife comes to pick him up.

It's not the last he'll see of the Hogans, he promises. Or is that a threat?

Comments

[Chris Hawk]

This was an amazing episode. I must admit that I didn't see the show going for three seasons, but am happy to note that it is still going strong!

I have a show idea to suggest, if I may. Nick was the center of one show a while back about breaking into wrestling. I believe it would totally kick some booty if the Hulkster took some guy who has the same dream and trained him, maybe in a race with Nick to see who goes the distance. Maybe set a tryout match up with WWE at the end. If you can't find someone, I will make the supreme sacrafice...I volunteer. And I am open to any and all ideas, getting a tattoo? Childs play. I AM UP FOR ANYTHING! Use me as you will!

[care]

rich is awesoooooome!

[sarah]

this iz the best episode ever but u guyz need to
kno how to fake brooke chatting wit people itz pretty bad i chatted like 4 times and she said the same things every time kinda bad

[sarah]

yo, itz me again that stuff i wuz just kiddin we cool ???????????????????????
hope u e-mail me

[sarah]

a cool episode would b if all ur wrestlin buddiez came down and u all had a parti on tv

[sarah]

brooke ur singin career iz awesome my mom got me ur cd for christmas and ive listened 2 it non-stop

[emily]

hogan knows best iz my fav show on vh1 so every time itz on if im talkin 2 mi friend on the fone i say i hav 2 go just 2 come 2 watch ur show itz the best

[BRITTANY]

HEY THAT IS SO SO SO SO COOL!
I LOVE YOUR SHOW, AND I LOVE BROOKES MUSIC!!!!
I LOVE YOUR SHOW!!!!!!!!!!

[katie]

YOU ARE SO AWSOME I LOVE NICK HE IS SO HOT, BROOKE HAS A BEUTIFUL VOICE, LINDA IS A WONDERFUL HOUSE KEEPER JUST KIDDING SHE IS A WONDERFUL MOTHER AND THE HULKSTER IS THE WONDERFUL HULKSTER I LOVE YALL WRITE BACK

[katie]

YOU ARE SO AWSOME I LOVE NICK HE IS SO HOT, BROOKE HAS A BEUTIFUL VOICE, LINDA IS A WONDERFUL HOUSE KEEPER JUST KIDDING SHE IS A WONDERFUL MOTHER AND THE HULKSTER IS THE WONDERFUL HULKSTER I LOVE YALL WRITE BACK

[Brittany Hutchinson.]

Nick is the hottest thing on earth. Brooke is pretty. My little brother thinks she is the hottest thing on her music video. Your kids both have grillz hogan? And by the way I know your guys real last name. Its Bollea.

HAHA!

lol

[tatiana1223]

I would like to start this by saying I am very much insulted by the last show. ALL OF MIAMI is not so damm illetirate to English!!! you made Miami look stupid and non Amerian. Most of us hispanics know more about America than you "American's" do!!!! Miami IS NOOOOTTT!! what you are making it out to be!!! You sound stupid and illiterate! Enjoy our beautiful beaches and multi- nationality instad of making Miami look like a bunch of ignorant immigrants!! If it wasn't for us you would HONESTLY would NOT be in MIAMI!! I lost all respect for you and your family HULK!!!!

[Shamso Raghe]

I thought the hogans was very laid back ! I would love to meet them someday!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TEAM HOGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chica_kiss111]

whats up!!!!!!!!love the show, i love it that u guys r trying to learn spanish, hey i'm latina from puerto rico anr ur showing intrest in my native languaje. Besos para todos y Nick estas rico!!!!!see if u can read thisd. lol

chica_kiss111

[Desi]

I know this is probably just for show purposes but they make miami look like no one speaks english. True there is a large population that might not speak english and spanish is there first language but its not that bad. For those who have never been here id say about 98% of the population speaks english. Its pretty funny to see how they potray miami.

[sissi]

I thought it was a insult to go out and learn another language to speak to someone in a English speaking country.
If we all give up that right that easy, it won't be our country much longer.
Have you ever heard of going somewhere else where they respect our language?
You all just gave in and acted like you were the foreigners.
So much for the tuff wrestler.
Being nice doesn't mean kissing everyone's butt.

[Alexis Sanchez]

HI realy like u guy.u guys r the best.

[Alexis]

Hey brooke I LOVE your songs and Nick my big sis likes u alot she says your cute.

[Stephanie]

I love your guys show. And i think it is cool that you guys are trying to learn another language. I like all your animals. If I were your neighbor, I would not mind all your animals.

[poochetti]

all these reality shows are a trip, this is one of the shows i do like to watch, but what boggles me is how does a family always get along with each other like you guys do? its like im watching leave it to beaver all over again? NOT!!

[randi lewis]

I LOVE BROOKE'S SONGS ON HER CD UNDISCOVERD. U GO KICK BUTT TEAM HOGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ron Williams]

Hulkster, Your the man!!! I'm the fan......

[jennie]

I love your show so much i love the part in the super fan epicode when the super fan gets a tattoo because the Miami ink show is another one of my fav shows.

[Paulette Paparoni]

I think that Terry and his wife play an active role in their chilren's lives. I'm impressed with the loving interation of their family. The children are well mannered and and excellent reflection of their parent's involvement with their clidren. Keep up the good work Hulk, you and your wife are great parents.

[Alan Hogan]

Where do I get a team Hogan T-Shirt????