After the jump, Gretchen talks about the burden of the camera's watchful eye, Danny's charm and how Breaking Bonaduce was intended to be a very different show.

In the first episode , there's reference to Danny never having seen the show. Do you watch it?

I have seen the show. I received early copies because Danny and I are executive producing the show, so one of us needed to know what was in there for interviews.

Is it difficult to watch?

It is, but I'm just so proud of it because I always felt that we had the potential to help a lot of people. And I know that we did that. I mean, the mail we get is unbelievable and so many people are in the same boat. So many people have had struggles with their marriage and they really relate.

It's not a typical reality show. Most reality shows tend toward the comedic.

Well, that's the one thing that I wish would have made it in. We shot hundreds of hours of tape and my husband is hilarious. My kids are hilarious. On occasion, I can say something funny. But that doesn't fit the theme of the show, so most often, that hilarious stuff was getting cut out. If I would have had more of a say, I would have liked to have had more of that in. I'm hoping that if DVDs come out, we can do a Danny and Gretchen's cut, because it would be much funnier.

I mention that because I would imagine that it would be difficult from a human level to watch Breaking Bonaduce if you were, in fact, a Bonaduce.

Oh yeah. I cried when I watched it. And that was weird that it was us. I reacted that way, so I was unsure what other people's reactions would be. I felt that if this wasn't us, I'd be very moved by this.

Danny mentioned earlier in the season, in the episode in which he left the house , that some of the strain in the relationship had to do with gearing up for the second season of the show. Do you agree?

I'm sure there's some truth to that. The pressure of filming and I think at that particular time in our relationship, things were difficult. That's definitely accurate.

How much of a strain on your life does the actual filming cause?

It's kind of weird because my sense of wanting to help people so overrode how bad it was getting that I just didn't really think about it when we were shooting. Not on that level. It was happening to us, and while it was happening, I wasn't thinking of anything beyond, "What are we going to do?"

But there are times when you'll take your mic off or have a discussion in a room after kicking the cameras out.

Yeah, because even though we were shooting, some things were painful to just let go. I mean, I was OK with people knowing about it but I wasn't happy about sharing it that moment with my mic on.

So, do you have set limits or is this something that you just sort of feel out as it happens?

I never had anything on a conscious level in mind. Nothing like, "This would be crossing the line, that would be fine." I really was not thinking about anything other than living our life. I'm the worst actress in L.A. I just would be unable to do anything like that. I acted like I acted because that's how I was feeling.

One of your quotes that sticks out from this season is, "Danny is a great guy, he's just a s***ty husband."

I think it's obvious to the whole planet that Danny is a charming guy . People love him. And that's one of the things I love about him. He's charming, he's funny, he's smart. He has a lot of gifts and talents, but sometimes he gets caught in his addiction and he'd do things that made him a bad husband. But he's unique. I think a lot of things that Danny gets away with, a lot of people would never recover from. Because he's so likable, he gets by. I can't imagine a lot of people getting over the scandals that Danny has been able to. Another thing to realize, and this goes back to what we were talking about before, is that we don't live our life as you see it on the show. It is 22 minutes of our week. We have a lot of fun. We have some really terrible issues that we deal with, but I think that we do a lot of fun things.

When you say that Danny gets away with things because of his charm, do you mean in your relationship, as well as in the grand scheme of things?

Yeah. I would say that's true. It's hard to stay angry at him because he's such a funny guy. I'm taking about things that aren't that horrible that he can worm his way out of by humor. If it's horrible, I don't care how funny he is. It's not something I'm just going to let slide.

Does it ever bother you when strangers talk about your personal life?

You cannot put your life on TV like that and not expect people to judge it. You're being completely naïve if you don't think people are going to have opinions about your relationship if you're going to put it out there. You have to take the good with the bad, but for the most part, it's been really good.

But going into it knowing that people were going to judge you, didn't that make things less traumatic?

Well, we didn't go into this thinking that we were going to shoot the show that ended up being shot. I wasn't thinking of it on that level. "Wow, this is going to be horrible." But I did expect some judgment, whether people had nice or nasty things to say.

So, you thought this would be more like a conventional reality show?

Oh, absolutely. Once I started to see that it was going bad, I figured, you know, we have a really opportunity to help people. But before that, we had gone in with the pitch of, "Ha, ha, rock and roll dinner party and rock stars come over and it's a pot luck." That was the show we thought we'd be doing.

Comments

[barry kinney]

what was the title of the 80s cover song gretchens band was playing on 12/10 episode

[Dena]

PLEASE Gretchen, have Gary try "EFT" - Emotional Freedom Techniques. It is an amazing acupressure-tapping technique which neutralizes negative emotions from the body's energy field through simple, gentle tapping on acupressure points while tuned in to the negative thought or memory. The tapping neutralizes the negative "zzt" in the body's meridians. I just know Danny could get relief with it. Find a practitioner in your area to work one-on-one with him. It can also be done on one's own with great results if you stick with it. Here is the founder Gary Craig's website:

http://www.emofree.com/

Gary Craig is an amazing man who is not out to make money (he is independently wealthy) but just wants to spread the healing gift of EFT to the world.
If it helps Danny at all (and I know it will) I implore you to do a show about it in Season 3, to spread the word to help others who might benefit from it.

[Courtney Lether]

You and your scripted show sucks. The next time you want to make it seem like Danny is actually drinking alcohol you should remember to water down the cranberry juice.....It's not that red if you add booze.

And your band well they might be okay, but you can't sing.

[Renee Michelle]

I just read "Gretchen speaks" and I can not speak highly enough of this woman! THANK YOU for being real, vulnerable, wise, kind, faithful, an excellent Mom & Wife... YOU & DANNY ARE HELPING PEOPLE! I thank God for your family! Keep up the good work & keep fighting the good fight! Don't listen to the negativity... some people will be miserable no matter what.

[GYPSEE]

I SO COMMEND DANNY AND GRETCHEN. GOD BLESS YOU DANNY, AND WHEN YOU FEEL THE URGE TO DO SOMETHING HARMFUL, JUST LOOK AT THE TEARS YOUR DAUGHTER SHEDS DURING THE SHOWS. SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH, PLEASE DON'T PUT HER THROUGH ANYMORE. MY DAD WAS A DRUNK AND MY LIFE IS A SHAMBLES TODAY BECAUSE OF IT. I CRIED WITH JOY WHEN I SAW YOU GET BAPTISED. I AM PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FAMILY. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE AND BLESSINGS.

[Debby]

DENA!,
My husband is a vocalist, and that being said, I have heard 100's of bands perform and never have I been able to make an educated evaluation of thier vocal skills in the 15 seconds you are determining Gretchens' talent, So I guess they need to fire all the talent scouts and put you on payroll and save themselves alot of time...., No seriously in viewing the show, it appeared to me by the reaction of the croud you are perfectly wrong, I believe I see a tinge of green showing though. If you don't like the show make better use of your remote control! Danny nor Gretchen need your view, they actually have people rooting for the success of thier lives, marriage, children, and Gretchens' singing career!
Debby

[Kevin Hoover]

Danny is just another failure actor who made a reality show. He's just another loser with problems, "I don't care about your problems Danny". The only reason people watch your show is because they have nothing to do in life and there nothing else on tv. If I heard you on the news that you killed yourself, the only thing I would say is "oh well".

[sylvia peterson]

hey new york you should pick chance he is the best looking guy in the house tango is just a stupid lil bitch my grandma can rap better then him

[sylvia peterson]

hey new york you should pick chance he is the best looking guy in the house tango is just a stupid lil bitch my grandma can rap better then him

[sylvia peterson]

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[sylvia peterson]

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[sylvia peterson]

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[sylvia peterson]

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[sylvia peterson]

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[sylvia peterson]

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[BIGSIS]

I WANT CHANCE AND HIS BROTHER TO HAVE A REALITY SHOW IF THEY DO I WILL BE ON THE FIRST THING BLOWING TO FIGHT AND WIN THE HEART OF CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BIGSIS]

CHANCE IF YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING ME A CHANCE CALL ME "BIGSIS" (313)740-5379........

[vestina]

gretchen, when all is said dnd done youre the glue that keeps your family togrther and the bea=st part is danny is man enough to know it.he is also man enough to try god bless all of you