This episode's special guest?
The steak knife. It feels so good to have it back!
We open on Bootz and Deelishis lying in their beds complaining.
Guess who "she" refers to!
"She really is up to something," says Deelishis on New York (don't act shocked). Deelishis shows off her deetectiv skills by stating that Krazy is foolish for trusting New York and thinking they're friends. How big of a magnifying glass did she need to uncover that one? Also: Krazy? Foolish? Really?
The girls convene and the day's Flavorgram arrives, informing them that Deelishis and Krazy will accompany Flav on a boat ride. Upon figuring out that Flav won't be spending time with her again, New York can barely go on reading. She looks at the Flavorgram like it just told her that her weave looked cheap.
The Flavorgram's all, "How 'bout next time, I spit on you?"
New York and Bootz are informed to sit tight while Deelishis and Krazy are on their dates. New York says that sitting tight is exactly what she's doing (and really, the chapter in her inevitable memoir that deals with this episode should be called "Sitting Tight While Loosely Wound")...
Bootz, meanwhile, laughs in New York's face.
A shaken New York walks off (so much for sitting tight), which prompts Deelishis to mock her. Deelishis begins imitating New York's reading of the Flavorgram only to realize that New York read "slicing" as "slicking" (it's true!)...
Everyone makes mistakes, but you'd think that "slicing" would be a word New York knew by heart. What's next, mistaking "crouch" for "crotch?"
Regardless of New York's affront to literacy, Deelishis joins her on the balcony to console her.
While New York doesn't exactly use Deelishis' shoulder to cry on, she doesn't bite it either. Weird.
Deelishis and Krazy both join Flav for their boat ride...
They're forced to work together to hoist the sails.
Again, no biting takes place and again, it is weird.
At one point, Flav loses an earring and Deelishis helps him find it...
...and we all get a little something for her effort.
The boat ride contains the usual amount of switch-kissing and jealousy-baiting you've no doubt come to expect from Flav's dates with multiple women. The whole thing makes Deelishis sick...
...literally? Flav surmises that Deelishis maybe was nauseated not by the motion of the ocean, but by Flav's motions with Krazy. We cut to Deelishis moaning in the cabin...
...and it seems that Flav is probably flattering himself. Though when you have a household of women 20 years your junior clamoring for your affection, it's probably hard not to flatter yourself as a matter of course.
The boat date ends and Flav treats Deelishis and Krazy to a night on the Queen Mary. Deelishis reveals that she's feeling overlooked by Flav and that if he doesn't show a sign that he's into her, she'll asked to be sent home.
The girls get dressed and meet Flav for dinner..
Flav's impressed with how they've cleaned up. He says that, "they was lookin' so good, both of 'em coulda been on my plates." Watch your mouth, Flav -- you wouldn't want to objectify them or anything, would you?
During dinner Krazy tells Flav how much she cares for him via lite-rock and quiet-storm sentiments like, "When we kiss, I feel like I'm gone for a minute, you know? I kinda just black out. When I open my eyes, I'm dizzy." Flaveeeeee, oooh, she gets chills, when she's with you oh-whoa-oh-whoa. Krazy gets so weak in the knees she can hardly speak...well.
The best part of all this is Deelishis' reactions to Krazy's blathering.
Krazy then decides it'd be a good idea to sing.
It's not exactly the trainwreck it could have been (decide for yourself), but she isn't exactly Chaka Khan. More Chaka Khan't, really. At least, that's what Deelishis' eyes say.
When it's Deelishis' turn to remind Flav how much she means to him, she cuts the crap: "There's no poetic way for me to say it. I just like what I like, and what I like right now is you." And then she cries.
Maybe make that "slicks the crap." Deelishis also admits that it wasn't just sea-sickness that had her all worked up earlier -- so Flav was rightfully flattered. Go figure. Deelishis' illness over his time spent with Krazy "let me know what I was feeling was real." She'll vomit in fond remembrance of Flav from now on.
Anyway, Flav ends up choosing Deelishis to invite back to his room.
Guess where this is headed...
...to sleep. Flav dozes on Deelishis' backside like a true gentleman.
The next day, it's time for New York and Bootz's date with Flav.
They'll be wine-tasting at vineyard. But to get to their tasting spot, they'll need transportation...
Horses! New York freaks out, saying that she doesn't do well with animals. And it would appear that she isn't joking.
At the height of her spaz-fest, New York asks, "Is he alive?" Well, New York, if it's any consolation: riding a live horse is a lot more safe than riding a dead one.
Again, Bootz openly laughs.
New York really doesn't do well with horses.
Finally, they arrive at their wine-tasting spot. Bootz reveals, "I don't never been wine-tasting." You don't say!
What wine-tasting date would be complete without some good old grape stomping (or, in Flav's case, grape romping)? To prepare, New York disrobes rhythmically...
...and they all, erm, do their thing...
...only to shower off.
Look at all the fun they're having. It's like they're at Disneyland...drunk.
Flav checks the girls into a hotel and rents out a club for dinner...
Flav again goes over Bootz's celibacy, which New York has no time for.
After all, she is "no back-burner bitch." New York complains to Flav that they've had no one-on-one time and that he owes it to her. Now it's Flav's turn to laugh in her face.
This seems to happen a lot.
Flav still doesn't pay New York the attention she thinks she deserves, so she storms off.
She even says to get the camera out of her face. When New York is requesting not to be filmed, you know she's upset. Flav, of course, takes her bait. He follows her and even asks if she'll spend the night with him. New York accepts, and says in an interview that this was all part of her strategy...
...not that Bootz's celibacy could have had anything to do with Flav choosing New York. Also New York's tactic seems to be taking the role of the squeaky wheel so that she can get the most oil. This is toddler philosophy ("I cry, I get what I want"). Sadly, no other girl in the house has been able to trump it.
Back at the table, though, Bootz does call New York out on her faux-hysterics...
This causes just another vaguely coherent New York rant. Basically it just puts on display her capacity for ridiculous faces and steak-knife gesturing.
Flav gets to take all this woman back to his room!
Guess what happens next. It ain't pretty. New York sums it up by saying, "We basically took a chunk out of each other, if you will." Um, we won't. But we will use "chunked up" as our new euphemism for getting nasty.
Time for eliminations. Flav hilariously builds tension by stretching out his announcement like soooooooooo.
Eventually, however, Bootz gets the boot.
...but not before she gives Flav one last gift...
...her number, for when Flav gets "sick of these hoes." It's sad to see her go -- she really knew how to think outside the box!
Want more? Check out all highlights from episode 8 plus more from the vineyard only on VSPOT!
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